More jokes about learning (not too long). Thank you.

Yu Qian didn't study hard when he was a child. When his grades are not good, he often cheats his father when he comes home.

His father bought a lie detector. ...

One day, when Yu Qian came back from the exam, his father asked: What did you get in the exam?

Yu Qian: 90.

Beep, beep ... the polygraph rang.

His father asked: to tell the truth, how many points?

Yu Qian: 80.

Beep, beep, beep ... It's ringing again.

His father was anxious: this unfortunate child, to tell the truth, how many points?

Yu Qian: 70.

Beep, beep, beep ... The polygraph is still ringing.

His father trembled with anger: tell the truth! ! !

Yu Qian: 40 …

Beep, beep, beep. ...

His father can't help it. He said, you wasted all my efforts. Why don't you learn from me? At that time, your father got 100 in our exam. ...

Bang ... the polygraph exploded @ @ $ # * @ #! $!

Student: "Teacher, I saw a rabbit on the ground yesterday."

Teacher: "Didn't I teach the usage of excessive words?" Animals have to use their heads, and only flat things can use "Zhang"

Student (indignant): But when I saw the middle of the road, it was already a plane. "

Knowledge gained through study

At the end of a Buddhist research class, Master asked the students to report their learning experience. A student said, "Before a mosquito bites him, he must have killed it with a bang;" It's different now. When the mosquito bites him, he will say to the mosquito,' Please enjoy your meal!' "

A reporter interviewed a student's report card.

"Son, will you be beaten if you don't test well?"

"Yes, there are three dozen exams in my family."

"Oh, three dozen exams?"

"Well, I have 70 points for men's singles, 60 points for women's singles and below 50 points for mixed doubles."

After the mid-term exam, the math teacher will announce the results. He said:

"There are as many people with more than 90 points as those with more than 80 points; There are as many people over 80 as over 70. "

At the beginning of the conversation, the whole class cheered, and a classmate asked, "So ... how many people failed?"

The teacher replied easily, "There are as many people who fail in the class."

English class .....

This is what my junior told me. ......

One day, they were having an English class. ....

The teacher asked the students to name common English words. ...

Student No.1 said, OK. ...

Student No.2 said, Thank you. .....

Then I called a classmate. ......

When he stood up, he was very depressed and said, shirt ....

It's a shit shirt. It's a shirt. ....

Once in a Chinese class, the teacher wanted to know the Chinese level of this overseas Chinese student.

Just ask him some related idioms.

"Can you say an idiom to describe a person who is very happy? 』

The Chinese teacher gave a question and said, "However, this idiom had better have a number.

Such as one, two, three, four ... "

Overseas Chinese thought for a moment and said happily:

I see, "smile in the grave"!

Ha! What a "Laughing Jiuquan"! The whole class laughed, old Chinese teacher,

I almost passed out.

A monitor sleeps in class and asks his classmates to call him after class. The classmates play pranks.

Get up, class is over!

The monitor rubbed his eyes: Stand up!

At this time, only a dozen students stood up in a daze and said, thank you, teacher!

Learn English.

Once, a tutor of a junior high school student found the following terrible words in his English textbook:

Dad died (bus)

I'm dead (yes)

The girl is dead (girl)

Sister passed away (Mis? )

......

Death ray (school)

Geography exam

In the geography exam, the teacher asked the students to briefly describe the following places:

Arabia, Singapore, Cape of Good Hope, Rome, Nagoya, Macau.

Among them, Xiao Ming wrote: Once upon a time, there was an old man named Arabia.

One day he went out to climb the mountain, when he climbed to Singapore.

Suddenly I saw a Rome with the Cape of Good Hope on its head coming straight at me.

Frightened, he ran into Nagoya and quickly closed Macao.

College meals

A freshman bought a scone and walked on the road. Suddenly, a big car came to him. In a panic, scones fell under the wheels. When the car passed by, the freshmen who were regretting were surprised to find that the scones were embedded in the ground intact! In order not to waste, he decided to pick up the scones, but no matter how hard he tried to pry the spoon, a kind old man passed by. After the old man knew the situation, he immediately took out a fried dough stick from his schoolbag and saw that the scones were actually made by hand!

practised

The professor is having an ethics class. He told his classmates how to remind others of some embarrassing things.

"For example, if you see a girl with grass clippings on her ass, you should be polite.

Say, "Girl, you have cut grass on your shoulder". The girl looked back and then looked down-she saw it. "

At this time, a female student raised her hand and stood up and said, "Professor, the zipper of your tie is open!" " "

girl student

One night, I was wandering on the platform of a voracious society, and I couldn't help staring at a woman with long hair. As soon as she approached, the woman suddenly stopped and stared at me. Yu Daoan, "I'm not very handsome"! But when I saw Yi's eyes wide open and her mouth twitching, I sighed, "Am I too ugly?" ? But see the bigger Iraq's eyes, the more Zhang Yue opens her mouth. I'm afraid I'll always be a real gentleman. I've never offended her, let alone met her. I tried to turn around, but suddenly I heard Iraq shout. . . . . . Ah. . Strange. ! ! "。 Yi rubbed his nose and drifted away. I'm already sweating.

twice

When I first entered school, I took the student code and everyone copied it. There are two of them:

If you cheat twice in college, advise him to drop out.

Married people advised him to drop out of college.

My eyes are bad. I handed out the paper and found it was copied:

: Those who have been married twice in college are advised to drop out of school.