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Can anyone find a funnier question in computer science than this?

A: What should I do if my computer cannot access the Internet?

Answer: Have you dialed the number?

A: What is the phone number? . . .

A: My computer is running slowly

Answer: Clean up the system junk and startup items. Registry. Touch the plate.

A: Do you need a broom?

A person called Microsoft's customer service department:

Customer: When I was typing an article, I couldn't see anything.

Service staff :Is the wiring of the monitor broken?

Customer: What is a monitor?

Service staff: It’s the thing on the table where you see what you type.

Customer: Found it!

Service staff: Look at the line coming out from behind it.

Customer: Wait a minute, I can’t find it.

Service staff: What, can’t find it?

Customer: I’m going to get a candle.

Service staff: Candle?

Customer: There is a power outage here.

Service staff: Is there a power outage? I know what's wrong.

Customer: Do you know?

Service staff: Yes, there is a big problem with your computer. Take it to the salesperson tomorrow. Worker

Customer: What did I say?

Service staff: Just say, I am too stupid to own a computer!

Compaq is preparing to change the computer command "Press any key" to "Press Enter." Because the company receives countless calls from customers every day asking where the "any key" is on the computer. AST's Technical Services Department received a complaint from a customer who said she couldn't use her computer mouse with its dust cover on. It turns out that this so-called "dust cover" refers to the plastic packaging bag of the mouse. A Compaq technician received a call from a male customer complaining that his computer system could not read word processing files from his old disk. Searching for the cause found neither strong magnetic radiation nor overheating of his disk. But this gentleman once labeled the disk, and then rolled it onto the drum of the typewriter and typed a few words, thinking it was "labeled." A Dell customer called the company to complain that his computer was unable to send any faxes. So the company's technicians spent forty hours checking his computer, but found no problems. When asked how this customer sent his fax, he said, "I first hold the piece of paper to be sent in front of the computer screen, and then hit the 'send' key on the keyboard." AST asked a customer to send her a copy of the defective disks. A few days later, the company did receive her letter. In the envelope, there were only a few copies of the disk copied with a photocopier. A Dell customer called the company to complain that his computer keyboard no longer worked. It turned out that he first soaked the keyboard in a bucket filled with soapy water for a day, then removed all the keys and washed them one by one. He turned out to be a machine repairman. An irate woman called Dell Computer Services to say her new computer wouldn't start no matter what. The technician first asked her if the power plug was plugged in, and then asked her how the computer reacted when she pressed the power switch. The customer replied: "I stepped on the foot pedal over and over again, and the computer really didn't respond at all." It turned out that the "foot pedal" she meant was the computer mouse.

IT Humor: Essential Manual for Computer Use

1. Please read this manual carefully to avoid accidents with your computer.

2. Before turning on the computer, please make sure that all devices are plugged in and that today is not a power outage day. If there are insufficient sockets, please change the room to place the computer.

3. If the computer fails for any unknown reason, please contact service personnel. Our company confirms that the cause of the computer failure is not caused by the user's personal stupidity and will be responsible for free repairs.

4. Users please update the contents of your brain regularly to avoid using high-tech products to do old stupid things.

5. Please do not use illegal or pirated software. Please support it - the price of genuine software can definitely make you a first-class poor household.

6. This machine can complete any work for you, but you must first study computer instructions that are more difficult to understand than alien language. If you can't read ten lines at a time, have amazing understanding, and vow to read tens of millions of computer professional books, please stay away from this machine as soon as possible to avoid delaying each other's youth.

7. Novices should not place a hammer next to the computer, and do not kick the computer host. If there is a smell of burnt wires, please check the coffee machine in the kitchen.

8. The daily depreciation of this machine exceeds one hundred yuan or more. You are welcome to use it every day to avoid intangible losses. Other alternatives to not buying a computer include: using a company computer;? Tingting? Internet cafes are available for a fee.

9. Don’t doubt that the computer’s intelligence is far lower than that of humans. It will only obey your orders when it is in a good mood; when it is in a bad mood, you must obey its orders.

10. Please read the remaining one thousand and one instructions carefully.

Note: Is the computer a good helper for people, or is it just another driver of driving people crazy? I'm afraid this can only be left to future generations to verify. What is certain is that as computers evolve, the information in the human brain will only become more confusing. Anyway, don’t worry about this topic for now, someone asked me to play a game...

Everyone was drinking beer, and now you took your seat...

You poured yourself a glass of Coke , this is called low configuration.

You pour yourself a glass of beer, this is called standard configuration.

You pour yourself a cup of tea. The color of this tea is the same as beer. This is called a Trojan horse.

You pour yourself a cup of Coke and add a few drops of vinegar. Not only does it have the same color as beer, but it also doesn’t emit heat and still has bubbles. This is called a super Trojan horse.

Your colleague poured you a glass of white wine. This is called the recommended configuration.

Everyone has arrived and the banquet has begun.

You take a sip alone first. This is called unit testing.

You tell the person next to you that we can do whatever we want. This is called cross-testing.

But he said no, this cup is going to be dry. This is called a stress test.

So you said, let’s do it together. This is called internal testing.

At this time, the boss toasted to the audience. This is called an open test.

After three rounds of food, you will no longer be polite to them.

You toast to the person opposite, this is called p2p.

You toast to the person opposite, he toasts you back, and you toast him again..., this is called tcp.

p>

You toast to people at a table one by one. This is called a token ring.

You said that as long as we are brothers, you will drink this. This is called broadcasting.

But your boss JJ was not happy after hearing this. Are you just a brother? He will be fined with three drinks. It's called a bomb.

But your subordinates are not happy after hearing this. I have a sip and you have a drink. This is called a malicious attack.

A person comes over to propose a toast to this table. If you say no, you must pass my level first. This is called a firewall.

Your younger brothers come over to toast you. This is called one-to-many.

You are the boss, and everyone comes over to toast you. This is called a server.

The wine is the same, but the way to drink it is different.

You have a drink, and the boss takes a sip. This is called c#.

You have a drink, mm takes a sip, this is called vb.

You drank a glass, and your elder brother drank half a glass. This is called C++.

You drank half a glass and your little brother drank a glass. This is called compilation.

You have a drink and your partner also has a drink. This is called c.

Death is just a thought, but living is a lifetime, so living requires more courage than dying says:

The wine is the same, but the people who drink it are different.

The more you drink, the redder your face becomes. This is called frequent allocation and release of resources.

The more you drink, the paler your face becomes. This is called not releasing resources.

You are already drunk, but you say that I can still drink, which is called insufficient resource quota.

You say I am drunk even though you can drink. This is called resource reservation.

When you drink for a while and then go to the toilet, this is called cache.

After three rounds of drinking, it’s time for you to get active.

You go from table to table. This is called patrolling.

You suddenly see a beautiful girl at a certain table and walk over. This is called priority.

You go and sit down and don’t intend to leave. This is called an endless loop.

Your boss toasts you and invites you to come over, so you have no choice but to go over. This is called an activation event.

You toast to a table, and they say no, no, we all drink white, so you drink white too. This is called localization.

You toast to the boss, but the boss is surrounded, and you can only stand in the outer circle. This is called queuing.

You finally reach the inner circle and take a cautious step forward. This is called visiting the critical area.

You pat the boss on the shoulder and say, buddy, let’s have a drink. This is called crossing the line.

I don’t know how many times you have been drinking, but you can only speak two words. If you do it, this is called udp.

But someone came over with a bottle of wine and said, "I didn't even drink with you just now. This is called losing the bag."

The end result is the same even if you drink.

You suddenly run to the toilet. This is called catching an exception.

You vomited in the toilet, but you feel good. This is called clearing the memory.

You vomited on the table and felt very ashamed. This is called a program exception.

You vomited in front of the boss and felt very scared. This is called a system crash.

You vomited on the boss and simply fainted. This is called hardware shock

:lol

This is interesting!!

< p>You toast to the person opposite, he toasts you back, and you toast him again... This is called tcp.

Haha, this is how TCP's three-way handshake will be described!!!!

Interesting

It’s really interesting, support me[/glow]

Haha, I really learned a new level

Haha, it’s so thorough~~

Life is also programmed...