Half a year after graduation, I changed two jobs and am going to find a third one.

20 19 In the middle of July, I resigned. Although there are many legitimate reasons, such as no room for growth at all, the industry in which the company is located is declining, and so on. In short, it's all the company's fault, which can make people confident.

However, among the legitimate reasons, there is also a subtle illegitimate reason: all my favorite colleagues are leaving their jobs.

They are leaving, so I don't want to stay.

This is very interesting. I am a person who talks about "life is a long farewell" all day, and I will give up an already familiar environment for those who want to say goodbye after all.

In my selfish worldview, there should be no such thing as "giving up something for someone". I can't understand that Jiang Zhishu gave up a key university for Qin Xiang and went to Qin Xiang's ordinary university.

So I thought about it seriously, and finally one day the truth came out. I stayed because of these wonderful people, and now I choose to leave because of these people, which is understandable.

I feel at ease, and when I walk with my box in my arms, I am very proud and chic.

As it turns out, I once again encountered emotional behavior.

Finding a job is very painful.

After hitting a wall everywhere, being disappointed with the recruiter and finding myself doing nothing, I finally found sadly that the company I left was a paradise.

I was covered in blood when I left, and finally I was completely cold.

A day without a job is like a year. I dare not even turn on the light. I don't think I should waste resources. So I dare not have a moment's leisure. I keep spinning like a top. I didn't talk nonsense when I saw people talking nonsense. I can't help asking another person in my mind: is this person me? Isn't this me? Who is this man?

I don't know, either.

An interviewer suddenly asked me: Are you unhappy?

I suddenly stopped drooling, and it took me a while to talk about him awkwardly.

People often ask me if I am unhappy. I think it's because they are close enough to me to understand every casual frown.

But even strangers can detect that I'm in a bad mood. I think my expression management system is out of control.

I can't help but want to slap myself. As an adult, you should be like an animal, always young, always full of tears and always full of vitality.

Later, when I received the employment notice, I dared not go.

I feel as if they are laughing at my unworthiness as an adult.

Half a month later, I joined a company, where I was in charge of managing the expression during the interview.

The leader looks amiable. I felt a little lucky at first.

But I must admit that my ability to see people is particularly poor, and I can even say that I have never seen them correctly. I have introduced tutors to my classmates before. I said my parents are fine. Later, that classmate told me all kinds of bad things about my parents. I regarded Park Jin-hye as my idol for many years, and then her image collapsed and she went in.

My friend once told me earnestly: You should learn to judge people. However, after all these years, I still haven't learned how to look at people.

Maybe it's because everyone's expressions are well managed.

Then I started to be busy, always busy.

From overtime to 6 o'clock, to 8 o'clock, to 10, and then to 2 am.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I still think these jobs are meaningless.

I asked my friend: Why can't I love life?

She replied to me: because you think there is no hope in the future, you think today is not the last day.

I was silent for a long time, thinking that no matter how many years later, I have not achieved anything like today.

The new leader is unbelievable.

There is a big gap between his positioning of me and my positioning of myself, so I can generate electricity.

I always thought I was a typist and photographer. But he seems determined to tap my other potential, such as reconnaissance and search ability. I ran around more than once just to find the car keys he left somewhere.

One second he just said he wouldn't send me out in the field, and the next he asked me to go on a business trip with them.

I paused and nodded yes. I deeply understand that leaders' speeches are all bullshit.

This business trip finally changed me from a key finder to a leader's personal assistant.

All my pockets are full of lighters and cigarettes from the leader. They often throw it around, and once they can't find it, they blame me. Their luggage is heavy and big, and they often put it on my shoulder rudely, and they also resent my inflexibility. They have a bad temper. Once business goes wrong, they turn me into cannon fodder.

In the elevator of a hotel, I leaned against the wall feebly and thought sadly that I had never suffered so much.

I often think of my classmate Z, who was willing to be useful to professors when he was in college. At that time, I always looked down on him and thought he was a poor little civil servant.

I admire him a little now. Not everyone can be as mature as he is, positioning himself accurately from the beginning.

On another business trip, the leader suddenly wanted to have a drink with his business partner, so we got off the highway. Along the way, they were all talking about high housing prices and the magnificent overpass in front of them, and they were in full swing.

I have no idea about housing prices, and I don't care much about government work. I just keep staring at the magic of this city: on the left is a tall dark green mountain, and on the right is a bustling business district with neon lights and tall buildings. There is no transition in the middle, as abrupt as a broken chopstick. This strong turning point shocked me.

Further on, I found that this chopstick was actually broken again. An old commercial alley appeared in front of us. The alley twists and turns, accompanied by vague hawking, smoke from barbecue stalls, flies on red watermelons, worn-out storefront decorations, and those who are fearless in the middle of the road, navigation doesn't work at this time, and the car can't move forward.

The leader began to lose his temper and said no to eat like a child. If he had known, he wouldn't have turned himself in and suffered. What the hell is this place? I was a little excited at first, because if I don't go to this dinner, it means I can find a place to rest.

But the child is obviously just talking. After two hours of tossing and turning, he finally met his business partner, and he immediately became a temperamental and well-behaved adult.

I hope he can act like an adult in front of me.

Occasionally I think of my last company and leader, and then I finally understand that life is from one prison to another.

Many of my friends are good at teaching me. They said: don't focus too much on your inner emotions, you should look outside. Pay attention to the outside and enlarge the heart.

I thought, okay. So I bought a Buddhist sutra.

I always tell it as a joke, but I did get some relief because I read the Buddhist scriptures.

The Heart Sutra says: Reveal the truth, Poirot reveals the truth, Poirot reveals the truth, and Bodhisattva is great.

I must admit that my knowledge of Buddhist scriptures is not high, but sentence translation like this is more than enough for me: walk, walk, experience, stupid human beings.

That's how I persisted. * * * Encourage.