The next joke after Conan's hint

A cold joke is actually a joke that is not funny at all, a boring joke, but it can achieve the purpose of mental relaxation, because it doesn't need to use your head to understand.

Cold jokes generally go beyond conventional thinking, do not conform to logic and real life, and make people stunned ~

Although some cold jokes are quite funny, in any case, they will not laugh as much as those who have heard "normal" jokes ... the miracle of 383 Koshien! Never lose to an invisible demon.

The odds of 469 Haidong Black Market and the four famous paintings (the first one) are similar to those of bitterness. Uncle Maori is too child-friendly. ...

Two days (the first day) with prisoner 547 * *, Xiaolan brought a portable computer with wireless LAN, which is a local area network. Uncle Maori didn't even know how to surf the Internet before making up this cold joke. LAN pronunciation of WLAN is similar to LAN, which makes Xiaolan very embarrassed. ...

Most of the jokes in the theatrical version come from Agasa Hiroshi ... Theatrical version 3 Question: I have many grandchildren. How old are they? (ワシにはくのがぃる). He Cai? )

Answer: 0 years old. It's just an egg. ワシシわし is a homophonic word for vultures, and "having more grandchildren" means "having more grandchildren" (a homophonic word for eggs). Still an egg, of course, it is 0 years old.

Theater Edition Question 5: (88-year-old named Mi Shou, 77-year-old named Xi Shou, 99-year-old named Bai Shou. ) What should I call my 44th birthday? The tip is that this is composed of a Chinese character and three katakana characters, and the birthday character can be ignored.

Answer: Forty-four is exactly half of eighty-eight, right? Eighty-eight is rice (こめ), and the English word for rice is rice(ライス). Because it is a half bowl (はん), it is a half bowl of rice (half bowl).

Theater version 6: Mr. A of this game company can't help falling in love with cocoon playing when he goes to work. What should the boss do with Mr. A when he sees this situation? 1, praised and finally got through the game; 2. Fired him for playing games at work; Because he sleeps soundly in the cocoon, let him continue to sleep like this.

A: "Cocoon" refers to silkworm cocoon. Moreover, silkworms spin silk and form cocoons (かぃこ, the same sound as dismissal). In other words, firing is firing. コクーン→ Cocoon (まゆ) → Silkworm (かぃこ) → Dismissal (かぃこ) →クこ

Question 7: In the Qing Dynasty, there was a first lover named Wonai (ぅずねねずねす), but this girl was going to marry another man. Knowing after Huaqing: 1, angry; 2, happy; 3. cry. So, which is the answer?

Answer: I cried The answer is the third, crying. It comes from "The Pain of Chemical Celebration". A man as powerful as Hua Qing also has a weakness. He will cry when kicked. The tibia (the front side of the calf) is "the pain of celebrating". The groom (むこ) and Werner (ぅずね) are going to get married. Connected together is the tibia (the front of the calf, むこぅずね).

Theater version 8 questions (from Kudou Shinichi, no, imp thief disguised)

On Napoleon's land, I heard that two Japanese people built houses. Who are the two people below?

1, Dongye (ふゆの)

2. Furano (ふるの)

3. Shenye (ふかの)

Answer: 1 and 2. Napoleon's famous saying is "Nothing is impossible in my dictionary". This puzzle comes from here. Land (とち) is also called land (じしょ), which refers to the words on the house number. It is impossible for me to write a dictionary. (わがじしょにふかのぅね) That is, "There are no deep fields on my land."

In the theatrical version of the cold joke question and answer, most of them come from Agasa Hiroshi ... Theater version 9:

In this diagnosis and treatment, Mrs. Yuan went into the clinic for treatment. Excuse me, what happened to Mrs. Yuan?

1, eating too much will spoil your stomach;

2. I fell and sprained my foot;

3, too much sun exposure, heatstroke.

Answer: (hint: English, boat) The answer is two, sprain. In English, the boat is ship(シップ). If Yuan's foot is twisted too much, he should put a plaster (wet cloth).

But if you sprain your ankle while sailing, you will regret it.

Theater Edition 10 Question:

An important stage of the film, the fast roller coaster "Super Snake" in Dolobica Paradise.

So, who is the most suitable for this after-school program in the juvenile detective group?

1, bumei

2. Thai

3. Hirohiko

Step 4 grieve

Answer: Yuan Tai. Super snake = super snake = super ヘビ = super heavy, so the answer is Yuan Tai, he is the heaviest. (This question was written by Xiaolan, and Xiaolan can joke and guess riddles ~ ~ ~)

Theater version 1 1 Question: The scandal of the former king was revealed in the fish kingdom next to the marine monument, so snapper succeeded. Which of the following is the former king? 1, squid; 2. Octopus; 3. crabs.

Answer: The answer is the first one, squid. "Your Majesty" can be divided into "King" and "Your Majesty". If you add "Your Majesty" to the squid, it is "Your Majesty the squid" (pronounced "false" in Japanese). Squid, your majesty, means "fake"

Theater Edition 12 Question: A Chinese opera actor had a sore throat and was waiting for surgery. Later, he gave up the surgery and was cured by pills brought by his grandfather. Who is the opera singer? A, soprano B, contralto C, tenor D, bass.

Hint: What is the English for operation? Surgery is commonly known as Ope in Japanese plus (Grandpa's Pill).

Answer: The singer of Opera A gave up the operation. After the opera was removed (Ope), only (ra) remained. Pills refer to drugs that are kneaded into small round particles (grandfather pills), which can also be said to be (grandfather small round). After combining (ra) just now, RA ... Grandfather's (soprano) ... small circle (meaning blessing).

Theater Edition 13 Question: It rained this year, and the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl who could only meet on Tanabata decided to spend it at will. Next, which of the following is that day? 1) 65438+1October1New Year's Day 2) February 2 (around February 2, beginning of spring) 3) March 3 (March 3, Daughter's Day) 4) May 5 (Dragon Boat Festival).

The answer is: 4! Reason: May 5th is Children's Day, that is, Children's Day, which is written separately as Children's Day and read as Love Day. The next joke after Conan hinted: 065 crab and whale kidnapping

Conan: The next topic is a bit strange.

Agasa Hiroshi: What time is it, nine o'clock?

Conan: Whales (in Japanese, whales sound like nine o'clock).

089 murder of villa deshula (below)

Xiaolan: The next episode is my father's name reasoning.

Conan: You mean sleeping.

(Japanese reasoning is similar to sleeping pronunciation)

102 murder of an actor in costume (Part I)

Conan: The next Conan is a costume drama.

Hirohiko: The world is in front of you. The world in Japanese is similar to the answer. )

Yuantai: Right after this. (The pronunciation is similar to that of Conan just now.)

Conan: Hey.

104 thief group villa incident (Part I)

Mrs. Yuan: The bell is crowing.

Conan: You mean the sound of being late. Being late in Japanese is similar to chicken pronunciation in English.

Mrs. Yuan: Oh, no!

105 thief group villa incident (below)

Conan: The next episode will solve the mystery of foreign houses.

Kogoro: In fact, adzuki beans have already appeared (Kogoro refers to mutton soup, and the pronunciation of Japanese foreign restaurants is similar to mutton soup).

158 silent bell line

Conan: The next stage is the loop of the Yamanote Line.

Officer Takagi: What? Lymph nodes.

166 The monster in Tottori Spider House (event)

Conan: The next episode will be in Tottori, and Pingzhi will appear.

Mrs. Yuan: Ah, birds occupy the same place.

Conan: It's Hattori Heiji.

In Japanese, Tottori is a bit like Hattori.

367 obvious pier tragedy (the second part)

Conan: Next time is the solution.

Agasa Hiroshi: The fishing competition is over.

Conan: What?

Dissonance of Stradivari's Violin (Intermittent)

Pingzhi: Conan, the prisoner is the mother.

Conan: Why?

Pingzhi: It must be.

Pingzhi: Mom. (Kansai dialect)

The dissonance of Stradivari's violin (end)

Pingzhi: Never watch ~ Oh. (Kansai dialect sounds very musical)

Conan: You're kidding.

Pingzhi: You are in charge.

394 Adventures (Seal)

Bumei: Next week.

Bo Yan: The end of magic.

Conan: What?

Yuantai: an ascetic magician.

436 Interview with Detective Group as the Focus (Part Two)

Bumei: The theatrical version is finally released.

Bo Yan: Kang Hui cookies for detectives.

Conan: It's a requiem.

469 Children and Four Famous Paintings (I)

Hirohiko: In April, Kidd will put on a good show in the new school year.

Conan: Your cold jokes are really cold.

482 Shan Yao's mother-in-law's sword (below)

Yuan Tai: The climax of the mother-in-law incident in the mountains of Shan Yao and the appearance of the mountain village police to solve the case.

Conan: It's all mountains.

506 testimony of lawyer Fei Yingli (2)

Takagi: I still don't know.

Conan: It seems that you often go to the barber shop.

Takagi: Why?

Conan: Because you are always neat.

Takagi: You guys.

(exactly the same as neat Japanese pronunciation)

525 hate blue sparks (below)

Ah, the sweater is pilling.

Thai: This is wool.

Well, there is a price tag on the sweater.

Yuantai: It's on sale.

Sweaters are on sale in Japan.

526 items of the real murderer

Wrapped ribbon

Xiaolan: Below the detective station is the Polo coffee shop.

Hello, I'm Poirot.

Conan: Really? 1

Hiraji Shinichi and Kidd were invited to a meeting of a certain celebrity at the same time. It happened that they were in the same boat. Pingzhi believes that a couple of Kidd are uneasy about being invited, but Kidd is dismissive of the two detectives. When the boat rowed somewhere, Kidd woke up after a sleep and found that the boat had stopped. The couple said to him, "I left my mobile phone at home, please wait for me for a while!" " "Say that finish, I turned over and jumped into the boat. running all the way was like a dragonfly. Soon I ran back, proudly waving my mobile phone in my hand.

Then Pingzhi also shouted, "No, I left my sword at home!" " "After jumping off the boat, it was also a wave of Shui Piao. I saw the waves splashing, and I came back with my sword in a few minutes.

Kidd, not to be outdone, also shouted, "I left my glider at home!" " "What did you forget? If you want a glider, you will keep flying. You jumped off the boat and plopped into the bottom of the river. Embarrassed, I climbed onto the boat, refused to accept it, jumped down again and plopped off the boat vertically. This time, a small fish slipped over his neck, which made him scream. Feeling a little sorry, Pingzhi quietly asked Shinichi:

"Kudo, shall we tell him where those stones are?" 2

Kuaidou drove Qing Zi to play and passed a gas station. Kuaidou wanted to go to the toilet, so he said to Qing Zi, "I'll go to the toilet, and you are responsible for refueling." Qing Zi nodded. So, Kuaidou quickly ran into the bathroom. Before he stopped, he heard Qing Zi's clear and rhythmic cry: "Come on! Come on! Come on! ……"

three

Once gin and vodka went hunting deer in the mountains, and the greedy two men each caught two deer. When flying back, the captain said worriedly, "So many deer are overweight!" " "Both of them said dismissively," what are you afraid of? We hunted so many deer last year and flew back! " "The captain couldn't beat them (even two people in black sunglasses were afraid) and had to let them on the plane.

The plane flew smoothly for a while, suddenly shook and finally fell down. The two men stood up pale. Vodka looked around and whispered to Juniper, "Boss, it seems that we fell here last year!" " "

four

In a talent show contest, a new level of Kidd appeared one after another. First of all, Heiji used a brush to flash a sword as bright as day, and then I saw the sword shining and the wind whistling. Hattori's ancestral swordsmanship was vividly displayed by Heiji. Finally, even before people could see it clearly, Pingzhi had put his sword in its sheath, stood majestically on the stage and shouted, "I am the wind!" " "

Then Kidd. He shouted and shook his white cloak. Hundreds of pigeons flew to Qi Fei, and then I saw petals falling like clouds. Kidd is spinning in the air, fluttering (sweating) like a fairy. Then he also shouted, "I am a cloud!" " "

At first sight, the top two are so wonderful, and the psychological pressure is not small. He was carrying a silver football on the court, and he used his skills all his life to watch the football fly (how to turn it, there is no detailed explanation ~ ~), which made people wonder how many it was, and everyone was amazed. However, something unexpected happened first, and I had peace insurance. At this moment, when Shinichi hooked a football in the air with an upside-down gold hook, he was about to turn over and land, and a bolt from the blue hit his foot. I saw Shinichi lose his balance and fall to the ground head-down, with a big hole on the stage and a big bag on his head. Pinky Kidd panicked. Go help him. However, I saw Shinichi stagger to his feet and shouted, "Who am I? ! "five

Hirazuka and Ye go riding motorcycles. Ye wore a pure white dress, and her freshly washed hair slipped over her body, which was very elegant. Unfortunately, they only have one helmet. After discussion, they decided to let Pingzhi wear it. Pinky put on Ye He, running all the way. It feels great!

When they passed a crossroads, the police uncle stopped them. The policeman said angrily to he ye, "Why don't you wear a helmet?"

Ye looked surprised: "You ~ Can you see me?"

The policeman asked Pingji again, "Why not let her wear a helmet?"

Pingzhi looked blank: "There is no one behind me!"

The poor policeman's face suddenly changed: "Let's go …"

six

Xinyi bought a lottery ticket at the lottery betting station operated by Xiaolan. then ...

If they fall in love at first sight, then the author is Qiong Yao.

-If a new pair of Xiaolan fell in love at first sight, but kept silent, and then came to buy lottery tickets day after day, then the author was Haruki Murakami-if Xiaolan suddenly picked up a hidden knife and cut it at Xinyi, Xinyi dodged, and then the whole street came to kill Xinyi, then the author was Gu Long.

-If a newcomer bought a lottery ticket the next night, but Xiaolan knew from the news that he had died in a car accident when he went back yesterday, then the author was Hitchcock.

-If the new lottery ticket is based on a 2050 book "Collection of Lottery Numbers in the Past 50 Years", then the author is Spielberg.

-If after several years, Xinyi comes to buy lottery tickets again, but his leg has been broken, then the author is Lu Xun.

-If the lottery number obtained by Xinyi is the code word of a secret document, then the author is ian fleming.

-If Xinyi and Xiaolan fall in love and get married, and it turns out that they are separated brothers and sisters who have never met before, and then Xinyi strangles her child and becomes a philosopher, then the author is Jeanjacques? 6? 1 Rousseau.

-If there is a sudden murder nearby, the author is G?sh? Aoyama.

-If Shinichi suddenly picks up the terminal and rushes to the nearest building, then the author is Ben? 6? 1 bin laden.

seven

Moreover, Ye always complains that Pingzhi doesn't understand romance and sometimes makes me angry.

One day, Ye Laping and I went shopping, and finally came to a flower shop with malicious intent, pulled Pingji in, looked left and right, and finally took a fancy to a bunch of roses, so I asked Pingji:

"Do you think this bunch of flowers looks good?"

Pingzhi: "Not bad."

And IP asked, "Is it really nice?"

Pingzhi: "Well, it's really good."

Ye was a little angry, and then hinted, "You think it looks good, don't you? Actually, I like it. "

I saw Ping Zi sincerely say, "Just watch it for a while if you like."

Hearing this, Master He is angry from his heart, and evil is chilling! ~~~0. 1 sec later, Pingzhi was dragged out of the flower shop and beaten and thrown into the street to feed the wolves! Are there wolves in the street? ``)8

Once, Xinyi, Xiaolan and Ye traveled by small plane.

Something went wrong in the middle of the flight, and we needed to skydive to escape.

There are only three parachutes, so one person has to make sacrifices.

Finally, it was decided that the smartest freshmen would ask three questions, and those who couldn't answer them would jump.

So a new question asked Xiaolan: "How many suns are there in the sky?" "one"

So Xinyi asked Ye, "How many moons are there in the sky?" "one"

So the new one asked Hattori, "How many stars are there in the sky?" "……"

Hattori died voluntarily and jumped, but he hung on a branch and didn't die, which was fatal.

Since then, the four * * * once again had the opportunity to travel.

The same thing happened.

So I decided to decide a self-sacrificing person as before.

So Xinyi asked Xiaolan, "How many eyebrows does a person have?" "two roads"

So Xinyi asked Ye Yue, "How many eyes does a person have?" "two"

So a new question asked Hattori: "How many eyelashes does a person have?" "……"

Hattori volunteered to die, but he fell into the lake and didn't die, which was fatal.

The third time four people took the opportunity to travel, they encountered this danger again.

Hattori immediately stood up and said bravely, "Don't ask, I'll jump!" "

Falling so firmly ...

The new class immediately regretted it and shouted at Hattori, who was falling rapidly in the air, "Hattori! We brought four parachutes this time ............... "

nine

In the English test of Pingji School, there is a question 10, which needs to be connected to form a paragraph.

What makes everyone bleed is that only 10 knows!

After handing out the results, everyone was surprised to find that Pingzhi got full marks.

Ip Man: How did you do it?

Pingzhi replied: Idiot, I am an excellent English student anyway.

Ye stole the test paper curiously, and the answer is translated as follows:

Today, the teacher taught us new words ... We read them once ... The teacher dictated them again ... (list). Finally, we ended the lesson by reading them.

One day, my mother came back and found Bumei crying, so she asked her what was wrong. Bumei replied, "Just now, my father hit his hand while nailing a nail." My mother was surprised and asked, "Then why are you crying?" Bumei said, "Because I was laughing ..."