Classic hilarious jokes, short stories!

The name is too short to look like it.

When Mr. A was doing a Chinese test paper, he was stumped by a fill-in-the-blank question. "Who is the author of" The Dawn is Quiet here "? Struggling for a long time, Ah Jun resolutely wrote "holyfield" on the empty column.

The invigilator smiled and asked, "Why not write Tai Sen?" Ah Jun said, "His name is too short to look like!"

What does "non-weight" mean?

Before the graduation exam, the teacher gave us a tutorial to explain which courses to review. I was absent due to illness. Later, I borrowed a classmate's textbook and saw the words "key" and "non-key" on it, so I changed the "key" and abandoned the "non-key". Unexpectedly, I did badly in the exam.

I went to ask that classmate, and it turns out that "non-weight" means "very important"! ! !

The exam really hurt Shen Yuan.

After several months of staying up late, my roommate and I finally finished the last subject of the final exam. When I returned to the dormitory, I saw my face haggard in the mirror and couldn't help saying to my roommate, "I look ten years older."

The roommate replied, "You are better than me. I look as if I have only ten years left. "

At this moment, another roommate couldn't help saying, "You are all better than me. I look like I've been dead for ten years! " "

A master translator is not simple.

In the mid-term exam, there was a translation with the title: "My son said in Sichuan: The deceased is like a husband, not giving up day and night ..."

After correcting the manuscript paper, the teacher said seriously to the whole class, "There is a person in our class who wrote' The man who died seems to be my husband, and he looks like him all day long'." "

I can't answer it and it's not empty.

In a final exam, English topics are as follows:

1, I put on my coat and found that my button had fallen off.

When he heard the telephone ring, he answered it.

Xiao Mo, whose English is the worst, wrote the following answer:

1, shit!

2. Hello!

What is it made of?

It is said that there was a mid-term exam with five questions to test phrases.

Everyone knows it by heart, but I can't remember one question. The topic is this:

John and Mary made up after their quarrel.

After the exam, everyone smiled strangely and said nothing.

A few days later, after correcting the paper, the teacher came in reluctantly and said, "There are not many correct answers to this question, but the wrong answers are very consistent ..."

I cann't believe everyone answers love

The correct answer is up because make up means "reconciliation" (quarrel)

Love, witness growth

Freshman: (shyly) "A handsome guy asked me to see a movie." (The rest of the roommates immediately leaned in enthusiastically) "Really? I'll take a look with you and help you check. "

Sophomore: "hey, don't always look at that girl." Did you chase her or not? " ? I can do it without you! "

Junior: (Weekend) Unfortunately, there are two love birds in the dormitory, and I am the only one left in the empty room.

Senior: That's funny. Only then do you want to start with me. I won't accompany you after the postgraduate entrance examination. Are you kidding?

Miss, did you drop this?

Xiaoming is 20 years old and has no girlfriend. Egged on by his dormitory buddies, he decided to go after a girl he had long admired.

One day, he saw the girl walking alone on the playground and followed her. Xiao Ming is very anxious because he doesn't know how to speak.

Seeing the girl getting farther and farther away from him, he had to pick up something from the ground and catch up and say, "Miss, did you drop this brick?"

Ten dollars for the truth.

A man got lost in the country. He asked a child for directions.

The child said, "Give me ten dollars and I will tell you the truth."

The man gave him ten dollars.

"Thank you!" The child replied, "To tell the truth, I don't know."

This is the difference.

One day, Xiaotian said to his brother, "Brother, ask your mother for money to buy ice cream!" " "

"Why don't you ask your mother for it? You are not ignorant, she is not only my mother, but also your mother! "

"Yes, but you've known her longer!"

Assemble with screws

Mom is pregnant, and 4-year-old Hai is puzzled. She asked her father how his future brother or sister was born.

Dad explained to her: "Sir, come out, regenerate your body, and finally have two legs, understand?"

"I see, Dad, and then you put them together with screws, right?"

Be careful not to hit your foot.

My colleague will go to kidney calculi and rest at home.

His little nephew asked kidney calculi what it was, and he said that a stone came out when he peed.

The little nephew said anxiously, "uncle, you must spread your feet when you pee." Be careful not to hit your feet! " "

I don't want to go to school today.

Son: Dad, I don't want to go to school today.

Dad: What's the matter?

Son: Last week, a chicken died on the farm. The next day, I ate "roast chicken pieces" for lunch. A pig died on the farm three days ago, and I ate braised pork at noon the next day.

Dad: So what?

Son: Our English teacher died yesterday. ...

Less than you.

When the father saw his son in front of the cinema, he said angrily, "You don't know anything about learning. You only watch movies. Nine times out of ten, I see you here! " "

The son said, "Then I am one less than you!" " "