Live football 8 funny commentary, that is, always saying that XX sent a text message or something, thank you.

1. This is a very fierce tackle. It is estimated that this person will make a movie after he goes back, which is called My Wild Tackle.

2. Alas, today's game is very intense. Alas, my heart can't stand it. Somebody give me some medicine.

3. A powerful shot, but it hit the fans in the stands, this fan. But we didn't beat the goalpost.

6. Everyone is right, except Yao Ming, no one can beat him in handling the high-altitude ball!

7. Thanks to BiBi Zhou, who promised to come but didn't come. Thanks for his promise and support for the complete reality

8. According to his introduction before the game, he took two bottles of-Ant Force God.

9. This shot can be said to be elusive! Oh, no, superb.

1. The goal was beautiful. I'm glad that the score has been rewritten. Why do I sound like Guo Degang?

11. What is this shot? It actually hit the corner flag on the left! How to practice this footwork? Almost caught up with the level of the county team. . . . .

12. This shot is so high that it can hit the birds in the sky! It seems that the skill of shooting birds is not bad. . . .

13. Ronaldo volleyed the plane, "I don't know how long this player hasn't been paid" ...

14. Ouch! Are you going to hit the ball directly to heaven to meet God?

15. (Referee) The sentence is too light. Did you collect the money?

16. Is it because Huiren Shenbao has drunk too much?

17. According to a dream of red mansions, passing more balls can improve the goal rate.

18. Today, he is so excited that he seems to have drunk too much Chinese turtle essence before the game! ! !

19. This player shoots at the corner flag. It is said that he is a squint.

2. Confucius said that a good cross from the side can easily lead to a goal.

21. Oh, what kind of ball is this? It's terrible. Let's change the channel. There is Guo Degang's cross talk on XX. Let's go and have a look.

22. The pace of the game is too fast. ...... #% RMB *-* RMB #-*-,I really can't catch up!

23. A team member was sent off: "He can go back to take a bath early"

24. His shot went into the sky, rushed into space and flew into the universe!

25. The goalkeeper must have been thinking about his girlfriend just now.

26. Seeing how excited the coach is is like winning 5 million in the football lottery.

27. Rooney missed the shot. . Wang Tao said, "The coach on the sidelines took out his gun and pointed it at this player. . Be calm. . 。”

28. The ball knocked down the plane in the sky. It is said that the plane was flying to attack the White House. It seems that Bush should thank him.

29. The action was just like Mrs. Mrs. ... Mrs. chicken essence, which was too big.

3. The referee stopped him. I want to talk to him. What should I talk about? Talk about feelings?

31. The defender shoveled a foul, and the referee drew a card. At this moment, Tao Ge said, "It's so exciting, my God!

When he shot, he thought about whether his nude photos were posted on the Internet or not, and the ball missed.

The second half of the game started. It is said that the second half of the game attracted the attention of Edison Chen, Gillian, Cecilia Cheung and others.

Today, Edison Chen and I will host the game for you. Forget it.

The second half started, and it is said that Edison Chen was also sitting on the court.

(Comment: Even the most important people in the entertainment circle are taken out, which is strong! )

This goal is wonderful, and it's as fast as lightning. Jingle bells will not let the world be full of love.

I can't find any adjectives to describe his greatness. How about this? It's as fast as lightning, and the world is full of love.

He rattled in lightning speed, never letting the world be full of love. Ying Liangying, I love you, rushed into the restricted area, and his personal ability is beyond doubt.

(Comment: That's brilliant. Even this will do. I like this sentence best. )

The linesman is raising the flag. It's really eye-catching. Is it the Monkey King?

The referee ignored the linesman's signal for offside. It is said that the referee's ex-wife is the linesman's current wife. Alas, what a mess.

both teams have to be replaced, and the coaches have a heart in mind. Is it a broken back?

He finished the shot, and there was no real threat. Ah, the linesman beside him fainted, and he knocked him out.

(Comment: Authentic nonsense, even the referee is spared. )

This cross ball is beautiful, handsome and handsome.

The pass is good, but there is no one. It is estimated that Liu Xiang can rush up.

The ball is not passed well, so it is estimated that only Superman can catch it.

This pass is not good, and it is estimated that Yao Ming can't catch it in the middle.

(Comment: People who love sports! )

The ball is in the danger zone, hahahaha! (imitating Stephen Chow)

Oh, it's just a little higher. It's Shanghainese.

Southerners put it well: "Opportunity!"

Taiwan Province people say it well: "What a great opportunity!"

It's really fast to score a goal. It's less than five minutes before the last goal. That's awesome! (strange female voice)

can he score? We will break it down next time. (intonation of storytelling)

Although they got the lead at the beginning, they still have to keep calm. (said excitedly)

(Comment: The voice is too funny, and the imitation is like a decent touch. When will the profound Sichuan dialect be integrated? That's true. )

According to A Dream of Red Mansions, "A good pass may make them get back."

he didn't concentrate when he shot. Ah, ah? What? It was five years before you thought it was a wonderful shot ... I'm not Chen Kaige.

(Comment: Does a handsome man like Wang Tao need to be quoted? )

His basic skills in protecting the ball are very solid, just like Henry, no, Li Yi is the emperor.

The shot was too wide and missed the right baseline. It is said that the shooter was squint.

it's not a threat to the goalkeeper, but more like a return pass.

What a waste of opportunity! Your feet stink. Please use Fuyanjie as soon as possible. What? Is the medicine wrong?

is this a shot or a grudge? Hit too high, it can be called "Chang 'e III".

It is said that this player just got divorced, which seems to have an impact.

I hope the 45 minutes in the second half are still fascinating, fascinating, elusive, magical, wonderful and speechless.

The shooter didn't care about the ball. He watched the beautiful woman in the diagonal stands.

The ball flew to the right person in the audience through the wind and waves. I hope this ball can help him get married thousands of miles away.

formed a shot, but it was a pity that the shot was too high, which was the footwork of China players.

it's not a tackle anymore, it's a personal attack.

Both sides started to make small moves, some with knives, some with guns, and some with ... Forget it.

God, you can't waste the opportunity like this. Isn't the coach ... What is the coach doing? The coach is aiming at the gun, no!

The formation is still 4-4-2, and the coach still hasn't taken any risks. He should play adventure island.

The doorframe was lined with a piece of paint, and failed to get points, but the shooter had to pay for it.

substitution, this is the first time ... substitution, is it the first time? One, two ... It's the first change.

He looked at the sky roguishly, muttering that this ball should be a chance to score. According to him, he read ...... Chrysanthemum Platform.

haha, well played, almost hit the corner flagpole. Sure. What does this "nice" mean? You want to go yourself.

Wow, another goal. It's more and more like shooting training. It seems that they have to apologize to the opposing goalkeeper after the game. It's too embarrassing for the opposing goalkeeper.

free kick, wait a minute, I'll fix my makeup first.

it's time for him to buy the Mark Six lottery. The ball hit the crossbar.

The shooting is a bit outrageous. I might as well go up and kick!

They danced confidently in the midfield. Maybe they wanted to kill the opponent's midfield before they started to attack.

(Comment: It's so funny that it makes you faint. )

no one can catch up with him, no one can stop him, and no one can stop the goal.

He achieved perfect, exquisite and shooting footwork.

Brave saves, accurate anticipation and decisive attack.

perfect goal, perfect shot, not many strikers can finish such a shot.

(Comment: I finally feel a little serious, but I still feel very humorous. )

It must be said that fans are also a part of football, and the noise they make is a good foil to the atmosphere of the stadium.

(comment: "noise"? You have a lot of nerve. )

The cooperation between them is so tacit that the passing is really dazzling.

(Comment: What an exaggeration! Isn't the referee already down?

I am familiar with the players of the two teams. I often invite them to dinner. It can be said that the strength of the two teams is similar, I mean the appetite.

About the goalkeeper:

1. (The opposing goalkeeper was finally scored after a series of magical performances) WK, the power is finally out! This goalkeeper has a shaped ring on his ass!

explanation: for the future, if he has enough electricity, he can jump out with a hard shot. But it takes electricity to save brilliantly. If the goalkeeper runs out of electricity, he will have no resistance to the next shot, but he can recharge it at halftime. The level of goalkeepers is high and low, and the electricity of excellent goalkeepers is more resistant to use. If an ordinary goalkeeper does amazing things repeatedly, that's the effect of the energy gathering ring!

2. The goalkeeper fluttered about

Explanation: If he was honest and stood still, wouldn't the goal have been scored ...

3. The goalkeeper was killed in the gate

Explanation: This sentence will appear when the shot forms a goal and the goalkeeper makes a helpless in-situ save.

4. Dida is a dog

Explanation: Imitate Kara is a dog. When using Brazil, Dida often made all kinds of ugly hits and dives when dealing with some simple balls, so he had this sentence.

About tackle:

1. ("Lie corpse Dafa" intercepted the opponent's ball path but met the opponent's player) I was lying on the ground, and they kicked them. What's the whistle?

2. Don't leave your back to others casually

3. Find you even if you escape to the ends of the earth! See if you can run out of this stadium? Chase the shovel!

4. If you tackle an unknown person, you are ashamed to tell others ... (Imitating "Big shot")

5. Shovel the other person into a "reverse shrimp", shovel it into an ambulance, and then go to the hospital to express condolences

6. Violent football, with a knife tied to your feet

7. Fall to the sky and your morale will drop. Alas, the world is so vulnerable ...

Explanation: In fact, I adjusted the injury tolerance of "old sunspot" to C ... It's not racial discrimination, is it?

1. Don't you want to shovel when you see the glass legs? It's bad for them to leave the glass legs on the court.

11. Singing while shoveling: A tragedy is being staged ...

About cooperation:

1. Selling the old by relying on the old: (Scene: rummenigge shoots hard and the ball misses. )

A: (pointing to playback) why don't you pass the ball?

B: pass the ball? I was a member of the best team in the 82 World Cup. Can I pass the ball to you?

2. Personal heroism: (Scene: A man rushes forward with the ball, that is, he doesn't pass the ball, and after passing one by one, he is followed by a gang)

The world needs some heroes!

About the celebration:

1. (Ronaldinho started the Martins handspring celebration) So-and-so wanted to run over to celebrate, and put his foot on his chin ...

Live 8

The ball directly knocked down the bird flying in the sky

This ball! It's appropriate to jerk off!

Today, he is like taking a stimulant. Of course, we can't say that!

this goal is not so much a shot as a rescue!

This ball should be a push or a kick ...

The defender had to kick the ball out of the baseline, and the corner kick-I kicked the ball out of the baseline without pressure ...

A very threatening shot-the ball was dozens of meters away from the goal

Before the kick-off: the guest's wife invited today gave birth, so she didn't come; Originally, there was a commentary partner who went to the toilet during the game; Just after the Mid-Autumn Festival, I'd like to pay tribute to everyone for their old age ...

"My girlfriend's birthday is coming. Do you think it's good to give her a real Madrid jersey?" ..........

Ha, he's kicking the tiger in the hills

"His actions are totally enjoyable for the audience!" He is flexible and comfortable with the ball. "His feet are very delicate. The most frequently said sentence is" Good shot! I can only say the same few words, which I strongly despise! !

Perfect fatal blow ... their high fighting spirit. I believe that no team can beat it.

"It's not so much a clearance as a pass to the other side."

This ball is very threatening.

The corner kick was sent, and the player headed the ball before rubbing it, and the ball drew an arc and flew to a dead corner.

At this moment, the speaker shouted "a volley ..."

"A text message with the mobile phone number XXXX said that my ideal is to be a professional player ... I think the biggest thing is to be able to play live football." Is it related to playing live football? "........... Han

" I saw Wang Tao and a PP girl in the street the other day.

can't see if there is any physical contact? But it should be a foul

Oh ~ ~ ~ A yellow card!

shoot with one foot in the middle distance ...

shoot! ! ! ! ! !

long shot! ! ! ! ! !

This shot is very threatening (others: the defender's heart is in his throat)

The goalkeeper blocked the ball with his body/the goalkeeper blocked the ball with his body

The ball went straight to the center of the gate

! ! !

good shot! ! ! ! ! ! !

The goalkeeper pawned the ball, and the players only escaped for a while!

This is a completely unnecessary foul.

A friend with the suffix XXXX sent a short message saying: Er ... we have a dog at home who can also play football, but I don't know what position to play for him. ... Wang: Huh? Don't you want it to enter the China national team?

The final score is 2-1.

They beat their opponents by 1- ...

They were speechless ...

The two sides tied with two own goals.

Opening remarks: "There was a man who was my partner, but his wife gave birth to a baby ..."

. "Goalkeeper. ...