Dancing on Blood —— Reading Yu Xiuhua's poem Moonlight in the Left Hand

Like many people, my first impression of Yu Xiuhua was because of that bold and hot poem-"Go halfway through China and sleep with you". At that time, I thought, Oh, my God, I dare to write so bluntly! This sentence is full of vulgarity and fireworks. How can it be a poem? What about its elegance, tranquility, beauty and harmony? I can't believe it.

This poem is talked about by people in the streets. I thought it was because it implied a dirty joke. Recently, I got her collection of poems "Moonlight on the Left Hand". After reading her poems, I began to have a different view.

In the preface of the book, scholar Shen Rui excerpted the comments of Liu Nian, the editor-in-chief of Poetry Magazine: Her poems, when put in the poems of China poetess, are as striking as putting murderers in the homes of a group of ladies-everyone else is neatly dressed, wearing makeup and wearing perfume, and there is no smell of sweat in black and white, but she is smoky and confused, which is obvious. Indeed, the more you look back, the more obvious this feeling becomes. I think she is the dance of blood.

Her classic words: I slept with you for half of China, a spring with barnyard grass in my heart, and I pleased the world with pain. Reading is like a person, far away, in rags, unable to see men and women clearly, unable to distinguish faces, walking, turning, sitting and lying down, doing various actions on the muddy ground under the dim light at night. You won't think this is a dance, but you will feel strange. What could have happened to this man? What's wrong with his spirit?

If you think about it further, you will have the idea that if a person has such behavior, he must have trouble, boredom, a home that he can't go back to, and a soul and body that have nowhere to put.

Go a little further, and you will see her face. It is a woman's face, with a crooked mouth and crooked eyes, without any beautiful meaning, wrinkled face and rough skin. Her footsteps are messy and wobbly, and her chassis is very unstable, and she will fall down at any time. In the poem, she mentioned her fall many times. Falling down for various reasons is a common occurrence in her world. She said that she was hobbling alone in a shaky world. This is mentioned in many of her poems. But she went through a lot more than that. Her body aches in turn-stomach, legs, arms and waist, which is far from enough. She was abandoned and lonely ... Yes, she had nowhere to go but wandering, hesitating and spinning. After being beaten by a man, she fell down many times on the road and fumbled to grandma's house with a puppy that could only wag its tail. Yes, when these experiences make her feel at a loss and have nowhere to put her, she can only choose to please the world with pain.

If cerebral palsy, crooked mouth and eyes, and inconvenient legs and feet are fate, what about being abandoned, derailed and divorced? Any point is enough to crush a person and make her depressed, scattered and scared. However, these contents are concentrated in the same person, how can she bear it? For a rural woman with any family background and low survival skills. However, in her language, a faint joy flashed from time to time, just as she loved her rabbit and her dog witch.

Yes, closer, you can see the light in her eyes at a certain moment, like snow and moonlight that have appeared many times in her various intentions. Just like her photo, wearing a red dress and a short skirt, although the house is low and old, there are wild flowers, weeds and crops growing freely in the vast Yuan Ye. You can also see the blood flowing in her veins, which contains loneliness, loneliness, sadness, talk and fear. You don't know when it will rush out in which part of the body. Blood flowed out, and for a woman who had no pain, she said that she had almost no feelings. She continued her dance, no matter whether others could understand it or not, let blood flow through her dry, wrinkled, rough and muddy body and drip into the soil, and the soil under her feet became bloody, but she still shouted while walking, although no one watched it, although no one could understand it, although everyone looked at it with strange eyes, despised it and even rejected it, although no one ever thought she was dancing.

Everyone is bitter, and everyone expresses himself in his own way. However, such people, with poetry as a crutch, saw different snow and moonlight in the rickety world. The more you read it, the more you will feel that a part of your body is pinched in your hand by her words, rubbed hard and swollen. I want to shout pain, but I can't express it. I want to stop, but I want to say it.

The moonlight fell on her left hand, and there was a speeding train in her body. She said that even though she was terminally ill, she hung the moon high. She said that she was lonely all the time and swallowed all the criticisms as medicine ... That's how she touched the corner of life with her differences from ordinary people, described every nuance of life with her unique ideas, found every expression of life with her unique eyes, told the pain that went deep into the bone marrow with her inarticulate language, and walked out of a rickety life with her unstable gait ... In a world like her, there is always hope.

Yu Xiuhua said that she didn't know what poetry was and couldn't say it. It's just that her emotions are jumping or diving, but when the mind calls, it comes naked, and when a person stumbles in a rickety world, it acts as a crutch. Indeed, everyone has different ways of expression, but as long as you are sincere, thoughtful and accurate, you can move people and trigger feelings. Just like Yu Xiuhua, maybe she doesn't feel like dancing, but her expression of full moon, calling, shouting and missing clearly shows that she is dancing and standing in a pool of blood.