Tell funny jokes and see who is the funniest!

A boss was in a very happy mood after drinking and was driving his beloved Mercedes Benz 600 on the highway. At this time, he found a tractor parked on the side of the road and a person waving his hand. So he stopped the car and found out that the tractor was broken down on the road and he wanted to find someone to help tow it away. The boss was in a good mood today, so he agreed. The two people agreed at the same time that if the tractor turns on the right turn signal, please continue driving. If the tractor turns on the left turn signal, please stop. Then, the boss drove a Mercedes-Benz 600 and hit the road together with the tractor. (Of course they were driving very slowly) Suddenly, a BMW car passed them from behind at a very fast speed. When the boss saw it, he was very angry and thought to himself: "No one dares to overtake my Mercedes-Benz 600!" So he immediately Shift into high gear, step on the accelerator, and catch up with the BMW. (Because he was drunk, he had forgotten that there was a tractor towing behind him.) The boss quickly caught up with the BMW. Just as they were racing at 280 mph, they were spotted by a traffic policeman on the side of the road and wanted to stop them. It was too late, so I quickly took out my walkie-talkie and contacted the police on the next section of the road: "Hey, hello, hello, I found two cars racing at a very fast speed. One is a BMW and the other is a Mercedes-Benz 600. Please stop them, no, there are three cars racing, followed closely by a tractor, and they are also turning on the left turn signal and preparing to overtake!

Answer: Defend Interests-Magic! Teacher Level 4 2008-5-17 18:57

How to distinguish the authenticity of RMB?

Prepare one hundred yuan.. Fold it in half and then in half again, put it on the ground and step on it N .Pick it up and see if the person on it has a nosebleed. If there is a nosebleed, it is real. If there is no nosebleed, it is fake.

A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits. , Shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ”

(Translation: Comrades, villagers, please don’t talk, it’s a meeting now!!) >

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, sausages and pickled melons, please!"

(Translation: Let the township magistrate speak now!)

The township magistrate said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, and everyone is a big tortoise!"

(Translation: Comrades, today's meal is enough, everyone has a big bowl!)

No pickles, I'll pick up dog poop and lick it for you. ． ．

(Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story...)

First line: The wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I am waiting for your call back. Second line: Live for you, die for you, wait for you all my life. Hengpi: Sent to the wrong person.

During the Forest Games, kangaroos and monkeys were praised by the Lion King for their high jumps. The bear was criticized and said unconvinced: I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look, you are still on the bridge like a bear (you are still looking at it!)

I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a car. I have been very worried after hearing this. , I will send you a text message immediately. If you are still alive, please reply to me!

The world knows that you have great martial arts skills, but you can’t be proud. There is a sword among people, a person among swords, and people and swords become one. Once you achieve this, you are no longer a human, but a swordsman. ! Sword man! Sword man!

Look at you, you have an American head, a French waist, an Indian nose, and athlete’s foot. You are neither human nor ghost. You have only one head and two legs. Look at you, you are still reading text messages. Keep your mouth shut!

Under the red sun and blue sky, farmers wanted to watch a Category III movie and rushed into the cinema excitedly, shaking the sky with angry shouts. The village chief came to ask what was going on, and the farmer said, "The person who read the text message is not a star, and we won't pay him if he beats him to death."

Are your palms itchy? That means I miss your caress; are your lips itchy? That means I miss your passionate kiss; are you itchy...that means you are extremely dirty, why don't you go take a shower!

You are as diligent as a bee, as beautiful as a butterfly, as loyal as a puppy, as well-behaved as a kitten, as honest as an old cow, and as powerful as a tiger. No wonder others call you...a beast. !

Who has never had poop in his life? Who can defecate without paper? If you don't use toilet paper, you must use your fingers!

It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal; it's just a dream, but it's so real; you lower your head and say nothing, but I can't calm down, and finally I can't help but say to you: "I'll say it first." "Sound!"

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; if there is no water, the fish cannot swim; if there is no sun, the moon will not have light; if there is no you... fools will not exist.

I can't eat in the morning because I miss you. I can't eat in the afternoon because I miss you even more. I can't eat in the evening because I miss you crazily. I can't sleep at night because I miss you so much. …………I’m hungry

I heard that your mobile phone does not have text messaging function, so I sent this text message as a test. If you receive a text message that is confirmed to have the SMS function and is mine, please reply: I have it, it’s yours!

One ring means I miss you; two rings means I miss you so much! Three times, I miss you very much! Four tones, I miss you very much; five tones - demo, it’s time to answer the phone!

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. If I can’t smash you, it will be in vain. alive.

The beggar took the monkey along the street to beg. He asked the monkey to laugh and it laughed, he asked the monkey to cry and it cried, he asked the monkey to bow and it bowed, and he asked the monkey to read text messages and it read text messages.

That day when you were participating in a football match, you shot a volley. Before the goalkeeper could react, the ball went in! We all applauded and cheered for you. You got up, patted your butt and said: Damn, the ground is too slippery!

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly----Pig !

All the water tribes congratulated the old Dragon King on his birthday. During the dinner, Prime Minister Turtle took something out of his arms, looked at it, and then put it back. The Dragon King hurriedly asked: What's wrong with Prime Minister Turtle? The shrimp soldiers and crab generals quickly replied: The old bastard received another text message.

I thought about you a lot last night, and after much thought, you were the coolest. I searched for you in my dreams a thousand times, and when I looked back, I found you chained deep in someone’s donkey shed. How cruel! cruel! Calm down after reading the message!