Those ten kinds of men can't afford it.

You can't see far with shallow eyelids. You should be wary of such friends. As the saying goes, friendship is only seen when one is expensive and the other is cheap. This kind of friend is absolutely too poor to love rich people. He is always a hot pot, never a cold stove. You can't expect him to make friends with you sincerely. You have money, he is June; Your horse is tall and short. He is the twelfth lunar month. And don't call him a snob. He was born shallow. You ... avoid him!

Second, hands are always short.

I'm not afraid of short hands. Who has short time? I'm afraid he is always short-handed and always borrows money from you. I believe that no one in this world likes someone to borrow money from you every day, even Li Ka-shing. Tell a joke, the writer Shiqiao has such a friend who borrows money from time to time. Not much, 50 at a time, or100,200. Teacher Shi is a kind person and can't erase his face! But after a long time, no one can help! Besides, last time, Shiqiao collected more than 280 yuan for the manuscript. After coming out of the post office, I called Ge Tan and invited Ge Tan to eat instant-boiled mutton. Shiqiao thought it was enough for two people to eat hot pot and drink a few bottles of beer. But people are not as good as heaven. As soon as Mr. Shi got off at Hotpot City, he met a friend who loved to borrow money. Shiqiao's heart tightened, but he didn't panic-he just lent him one hundred dollars. He's not talking again, is he? This one makes do with a bright smile on his face: "Big Brother, what a coincidence! I met you. " Speaking of which, my face is bitter (who learned to change face in Sichuan? ): "Brother Shi, help the brothers. My brother ate here just now and ate too much. I was held back by my ID card and wouldn't let him go. Please help me. I really have something to do this afternoon. " Shiqiao was shocked: "How much do you pay ... for dinner?" "Well, not much. When my friend was not careful, he ordered two more plates of diamond beef for 200 yuan. Brother, you have to help me! " Shiqiao almost didn't shout out, damn it! Diamond beef? 15 1 plate, you really dare to eat! Look at him with a miserable face, saying nothing and paying directly. "Two hundred, here you are." Scold in your heart, get out! Get out of my sight. Then I called Ge Tan and said, "Go on, let's ... eat jiaozi instead. I didn't bring enough money when I came out! " I was unhappy after listening to the song: "Shit, why don't you keep your word?" Shiqiao later said, "Well, I know enough. This guy really wanted to open his mouth that day and treat me like a rich man. Dude, I'm in a hurry. Please lend me100000 yuan. Shit! I want to faint on the spot! "

Third, the ears are soft.

I don't know, soft ears. Friends on this road must be kind and honest. Chase, you and he are "harmonious but different, while China holds our friendship". Occasionally, he will invite you, or you will invite him out for a drink. Hug your neck, waist and ass when you meet. It's all good to this extent, but this character always leans his head on others' shoulders and never has his own judgment. As long as someone says a bad word about you to him, "well, how do you talk to him?" That boy is nothing. Be careful, he really lied to you! "Well, he really listened to these two sentences, believed them, and was really scared." Hey? So he's this passerby? Fuck! I have to stay away from him. Don't lie to me! "Well, this friend has completely alienated you from now on, just like the next sentence" The voice of chickens and dogs hears each other "! You must be curious, aren't you? What happened to him? Why did you suddenly ignore me? What did I do wrong? I didn't flirt with his wife, did I? I don't want to borrow money from him either, do I? Forget it, don't guess. What did you do wrong! But yes, you stand in his point of view and consider him humanely. Who wants to make friends with an asshole? Don't be sad and angry, because your friend has a soft ear! Don't explain to him in a hurry, in that case, he will suspect that you are ill and feel weak. Friends with soft ears are scattered!

Fourth, the family unit is nobody's business.

You should also be wary of such friends. A meteor that wasn't caught-he doesn't know! You think, the wife at home doesn't care about him, and the unit doesn't care about him. I guess I can't control it! Do you dare to make such irresponsible friends? He left three holes for the sly rabbit at most. He doesn't know how many caves there are. He has been missing all day. Do you want to see him? You call his mobile phone, and the mobile phone dares to tell you, "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed doesn't have a mobile phone!" "There is such a friend who talks about songs. He called his cell phone that day and turned it off. Call his home, he's not here! His daughter-in-law said, "Well, he hasn't been home for more than half a month. "I hit the unit, and the unit said, isn't he going abroad? Don't you know that you are his friend? " Someone told Ge Tan, "You can't find him unless you call the police! "

Fifth, shout out if you have something to do.

This kind of friend has no rules and discipline. Say what you should say and what you shouldn't say. Theoretically, this is called liberalism. People say it's called a broken ass, and the door won't open. He never has secrets. If you tell him, "Oh, don't tell anyone." He promised well: "Don't worry, when you come to me, it will rot in my stomach!" " "Don't believe it, he can talk nonsense when he goes out. Your orders are tantamount to asking him to tell everyone. For example, if you quarrel with your wife, you should wash your dirty clothes in public. But you need to talk to a friend. People can't hold back their troubles! You tell him to come! He insisted that he knew everything, and finally he had to tell that you were having an affair with your wife.

Sixth, go home if you have something to do.

Such a friend is very stingy. I have seen him talk about songs. He doesn't drink or smoke, but he picks up all the cigarettes and wine left on the wine table, including better leftovers. Before others finally put down their chopsticks, he shouted to the waiter, "Miss, pack!" " "Don't ... don't get me wrong, don't regard him as a model of thrift, and don't feel as if he just came back from an African refugee camp. That's his problem. He just can't see. His eyes are burning! He won't wait for others to say anything, he will strike first. For example, the hotel maid can also pack, and he has to carry two (he is not enough, he can't carry three! )。 You should also pay attention to such friends.

Seven, spotless every day.

Such a friend is troublesome. I hope I can't soak in the bathhouse every day. I always feel dirty. Of course, I think you are dirty. Medically, this passerby is called cleanliness. He hates it when you go to his house. He will be overjoyed when you go. When you invite him to dinner, he has to bring his own water glass-he thinks the water glass in the hotel is dirty. You said the hotel had been disinfected, but he didn't believe you. If you are a sissy and become his wife, he will force you to take a bath at least three times a day, and then you will have to disinfect it with alcohol. This is really a spotless and happy day! You guys ... I'm afraid you can't stand it? Friends on this road, you should stay away! I'm sure that day, he poured Lysol or mixed detergent into your beer glass out of concern for you.

It's never too late to call a friend in the middle of the night.

The phone rings in the middle of the night, which is definitely not good news. Don't worry, no one will call you at midnight after winning the lottery. This late-night call must have been made by my buddy (except for the wrong number). For example, you have insomnia these days, that is, you have taken valium, or melatonin in the United States. As soon as you fall asleep, your cell phone is screaming. You have to be afraid when you detain it. "Hey, who's calling? What is it? " Picking up the phone, there said, "Dude, are you asleep? What time is it now? So you went to bed? Otherwise, it will grow so fat! " What time is it now? Look at your watch, it's half past three in the middle of the night! When you ask him something again, he tells you, "Nothing, just make a phone call and have a chat. Forget it. You're asleep. What are you talking about? Forget it! Let go! " Yes, he did. Can you sleep here? Don't say you are safe to eat. Even if I move the bedding to Andingmen, I can't sleep. Shit! What kind of friend is this?

Nine, you are easy to turn your face.

You should also pay attention to such friends, little girl! Usually fine. You never know when he will turn against you. You are with him, like a bomb stuck in your waist, and you are scared. Who knows when it will ring? You said, between friends, it is inevitable to make a joke, between friends, who say a few more words, what is it? He is joking, too. He can dig at you in any way, but if you dig at him, he will turn against you immediately. He is very straightforward. Whether in a long-term friendship or the first meeting, he never treats himself as an outsider. Meeting is PK. Tan Ge really knows such a person, ok! After three meals, this guy turned his face with the boss three times. Either, don't break up with him (who dares to do it with him when he drinks too much? ), too many people don't respect him. Either, the wine tastes bad. This is not his brand. The whole thing. Oh, my God, it kept the guests from going up and down, and as a result, they quarreled. Well, talking about songs is really a long memory. Next time, I will definitely not go out with him.

Ten, you can talk when you meet a woman.

This kind of person has nothing to say at ordinary times and nothing to say when he is drunk, just like a chicken. Always listless, boss. You can't guess, did the stock he bought crash? Or did his wife run away with someone else You can't expect him to have a little atmosphere on the wine table. Even if he drinks Wuliangye, it's like drinking Chinese medicine. However, as long as there is a woman present, as long as there is something more beautiful or pleasing to the eye, well, he will be fascinated, just like beating chicken blood. Don't let anyone interrupt. What did you say?/Sorry? He can catch the conversation. There is nothing in the world that he doesn't know. He can know that children born to foreign celebrities or China celebrities have no asshole, and he can also know that foreign presidents bite their teeth and fart and snore when they sleep-damn it, where did they get it? This kind of friend, you also stay away. If you take such a person out for dinner and talk about things, it will delay business.