Examples of humorous jokes

1, having dinner with friends in a restaurant. A piece of green pepper meat was served on the table. When I saw it, I said with indignation, "This piece of meat is too little!" "The boss sitting at the counter said sarcastically," Then I'll kill the pig for you? " I was shocked and said, "How to talk!" The boss said, "Did you call your mother?" I got up in anger and said to my friend, "No, let's go!" " "When the boss heard this, he raised his voice and said," Then take a taxi for you? "

2. A question on my math test paper: "Oh! Dad gave up! " With the cry of my younger brother, my father's hearty laughter sounded. My father touched my brother's little head and looked at me with loving eyes. I looked at my brother's happy face and suddenly found his face so round! It seems to be a circle with a radius of two centimeters. How many square centimeters is the face area of my brother? Should I smile at him? Or should I scold the Chinese teacher?

3. When I was in college, I had a classmate, a man and a woman, all friends of children, who didn't make any noise every day. At a dinner party, the two quarreled again. The woman shouted angrily at the man: what you have in your head is a lump of shit! Men don't even think about it. So you mean you're a piece of shit? After the reaction, both of them became red! Then, they got together. ......

I have a young aunt who is only a few years older than me. Once my aunt and I went shopping arm in arm and were very affectionate. As a result, the passing class teacher found out and went back to tell my mother that she saw my puppy love. My mother asked me what happened that day ... I silently thought about it and said, ask your sister ... My mother suddenly drew a mouth ... internal injury.

5, LZ forced office workers to take the bus early in the morning ... pay tribute to Brother Brown Sugar ... Most people in the car are in a hurry, but the bus driver in Nima always slides in the gap. That was an emergency. Everyone urged the driver to hurry up. What did the master say? What if something happens? At this moment, a weak voice came from the car. If something happens, you can say that you are a temporary worker. Well, labor and capital have been conquered by you!

6. The eternal myth of China always tells us one thing. For example, the cowherd falls in love with the weaver girl and can only meet once a year. Yong Dong fell in love with seven fairies, and seven fairies went to prison. When Xu Xian fell in love with the White Snake, the White Snake was locked in the Leifeng Tower, so _ Silk will never get the goddess. Even if you are allowed, heaven will not allow you!

Shota: How did you make your mother angry? Father: Don't ask. Do you want to eat instant noodles tonight? Shota: No. Father: Then listen to Dad. When I get to grandma's house, I will cry on her lap when I see her. If your mother doesn't come home with us, don't let go ... Oh, I see, Dad, then what are you doing? Father hesitated: I cried with my other leg in my arms, and everyone in the car couldn't help laughing.

8. The mother took her son to kindergarten for the first time, fearing that her son would be wronged. She said to the teacher, "If her son makes a mistake, please don't punish him." The teacher said angrily, "You will spoil the children like this." Mom said, "Well, if my son makes a mistake, you can punish the child next to him and scare him!" " "