Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 20 12 lines of the Spring Festival Evening sketch "Struggle"!
20 12 lines of the Spring Festival Evening sketch "Struggle"!
Cao Yunjin: Welcome to the audience. Cao Yunjin is here to pay a New Year call to you.
Liu Yuntian: Liu Yuntian paid a New Year call to you.
Cao Yunjin: I am very excited to stand on the stage of the Spring Festival Evening.
Liu Yuntian: Yes.
Cao Yunjin: I'm nervous, too. This is the live broadcast of the Spring Festival Evening. Taiwan Province is full of stars and celebrities. I am inferior to others.
Liu Yuntian: Not as good as who?
Cao Yunjin: Yang Liwei flew at the age of 38, Ding Junhui 15 won the gold medal, Zhou Yu 13 was the commander-in-chief of Ren Haijun Army, Kangxi ascended the throne at the age of 6, Beethoven began to compose music at the age of 4, and Huluwa was born to fight monsters. Do you think we are in a hurry?
Liu Yuntian: What's the use of worrying? You must make up your mind to succeed.
Cao Yunjin: I have been determined to have a good family influence since I was a child. My father taught me from an early age that a successful person must first know what he wants. What I want is money and beautiful women, which is disappointing. Is this what I want? I want a career and love.
Liu Yuntian: What's the difference?
Cao Yunjin: It depends on understanding. When I was a child, I had many dreams of success. At first, I wanted to be a great chemist. Since middle school, I have been trying to listen to chemistry, listen carefully in class and finish my homework. I am always the first to stand up and raise my hand to answer the teacher's questions.
The teacher asked, students pay attention, what can silicon and water produce? Bastard soup, what a scandal. Teacher, give me another chance. I'll give you one more chance, gas, okay? Carbon monoxide, toxic gas. That's right. What about the gas leak at home? Have a cigarette to calm down.
Liu Yuntian: What a pity.
Cao Yunjin: The teacher told me that you'd better stop studying chemistry. It's dangerous. Later, I fell in love with literature, ancient and modern Chinese and foreign literary works. China's four traditional masterpieces, Three Kingdoms, Water Margin, Dream of Red Mansions, Journey to the West, Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, have protected Tang Sanzang's Buddhist scriptures. On the way, Liu Bei often bullied Guan Yu, and the Tang Priest educated him, and you Po Hou.
The teacher said don't do this. Later, I was fascinated by music, wanted to learn music, and liked the most beautiful music in Beethoven's score. I play the piano very well. I told my father that I like music, I want to play the piano, and I want to buy a piano. Dad said that if you like music, you can whistle instead of playing the piano. My dream was killed in the cradle, and later I wanted to learn translation, so I had to practice from the words used in daily life.
Liu Yuntian: This is the foundation.
Cao Yunjin: For example, Apple. What do you mean?
Cao Yunjin: Apple, not everyone can say that.
Liu Yuntian: You said Apple.
Cao Yunjin: The pronunciation is not standard. You must be naive.
Cao Yunjin: Apple.
Cao Yunjin: Naivety doesn't mean hatred. This is an apple.
Liu Yuntian: How about oranges?
Cao Yunjin: Orange.
Liu Yuntian: Bananas.
Cao Yunjin: Bananas.
Liu Yuntian: Dad.
Cao Yunjin: Father.
Liu Yuntian: Mom.
Cao Yunjin: Mather.
Liu Yuntian: Grandpa.
Cao Yunjin: Father and father.
Liu Yuntian: That grandma is mom's mom.
Cao Yunjin: How can it be mom's mom? That's dad's dad.
Liu Yuntian: There is no translator.
Cao Yunjin: Later, I didn't think translation was suitable for me, but movies and TV were more suitable for me. I like watching TV plays since I was a child. The 86 edition of Journey to the West brought me childhood memories. I decided to make such a play. The Monkey King came out to make a scene, so I can say a line casually.
Liu Yuntian: If you don't believe me, test me.
Cao Yunjin: Baby robes.
Liu Yuntian: The episode of Black Bear Monster.
Cao Yunjin: Are you the reinforcements invited by the monkey?
Liu Yuntian: It's really like studying. It's hard to beat Hong Haier.
Cao Yunjin: Master, Master, which episode?
Liu Yuntian: Every episode.
Cao Yunjin: It's over. I don't know.
Liu Yuntian: If you want to say this, you can say a few lines, and you don't know which episode it is.
Cao Yunjin: No way. I recited the journey to the west.
Liu Yuntian: Wukong, which episode?
Cao Yunjin: You and I are just an episode.
Liu Yuntian: One episode.
Cao Yunjin: I called first, you Wukong. This is an episode. I am familiar with the lines of Journey to the West, especially the lines of killing goblins, and there are not many lines.
Liu Yuntian: Tell me.
Cao Yunjin: Brother, Master has been taken away by the devil. Big brother and second brother were taken away by the devil. Brother, I was taken away by the devil. There's nothing to say, master, the big brother is right, master and the second brother are right, master, there's nothing to say. Master, eldest brother, master, second brother is right, it's gone. Don't worry, master, the master elder brother will come to save us.
Liu Yuntian: Well, that counts.
Cao Yunjin: Do you think I will do some research?
Liu Yuntian: I don't think there is any research.
Cao Yunjin: At this rate, movies and TV are not for me.
Liu Yuntian: There is nothing for you.
Cao Yunjin: Why, why can't my dream come true? I think it is the most painful person in the world. If people are unlucky enough to drink cold water, they will plug their teeth, pull carts over the hurdle and eat sugar cakes to iron the back of their heads.
Liu Yuntian: How do you perm the back of your head?
Cao Yunjin: Lick the sugar when it comes down.
Liu Yuntian: Who told you to lick it?
Cao Yunjin: I am in a very bad mood.
Liu Yuntian: Don't be sad, I understand. You have said so much, but none of them are down-to-earth and hard-working. What you said is just a fantasy.
Cao Yunjin: I won't talk empty words, I won't talk big, I will fight for my dream, whether it's ten, twenty or thirty years. I have many examples in front of me, and I also have many examples of late bloomers. What am I afraid of?
Liu Yuntian: What do you have?
Cao Yunjin: Jiang Ziya became prime minister at the age of 80, She Taijun was 65,438+10,000, and Bi Fujian hosted the Spring Festival Gala at the age of 53. What am I afraid of? I'll start with what I'm good at.
Liu Yuntian: What are you good at?
Cao Yunjin: The biggest advantage is that I am not good at it, but I have hobbies.
Liu Yuntian: Singing?
Cao Yunjin: Hong Kong and Taiwan Province, Hong Kong and Taiwan Province, at home and abroad, whatever.
Liu Yuntian: What will an old man do?
Cao Yunjin: Theme Song of A Dream of Red Mansions.
Liu Yuntian: You also said series, and I also said series. This is called serialization.
Cao Yunjin: This is Jay Chou's nunchakus.
Liu Yuntian: Anything else?
Cao Yunjin: Jeff Chang Shin-Che Shenche, from the beginning to the present, Prince of Love Songs.
Liu Yuntian: This song is very good. Okay, great.
Cao Yunjin: It's all fur. As long as you can pick out the singers from Hong Kong and Taiwan, I won't sing without them.
Liu Yuntian: Then imitate Cai Qin's Forgotten Time.
Cao Yunjin: You can't beat me. The voice is relatively low.
Liu Yuntian: Not so good.
Cao Yunjin: I only know one thing. Just make up. I am in a good mood to see my dear audience friends. I have never seen it before. How about a complete English song?
Liu Yuntian: OK.
Cao Yunjin: Happy birthday to you. I'm here to tell you the truth. All departments of the best novel Drunk Maids have to cooperate with me. Lights, music, get up!
Extended data
Struggle makes fun of campus life and is linked to the creativity of the "four classic novels", and the burden is shaking loudly.
Cao Yunjin Liu Yuntian, the golden partner of the younger generation in the field of phonology, has grown from a young actor who just entered the stage to a crosstalk performer who is deeply loved by the audience. Ten years have passed. To commemorate this important day, Cao Yunjin and Liu Yuntian held a special performance "Join Hands for Ten Years, Life" at the North Station Theater at 20 14 June.
/kloc-In the past 0/0 years, Cao Yunjin and Liu Tianyun have performed on the same stage for countless times, and in the last three years, they have even won the CCTV Spring Festival Evening. Struggle is not bad for me, saying what is good for you is all a burden, and many familiar lines have even become everyone's mantra. June 14 is the homonym of "I want to live forever".
20 12 CCTV Spring Festival Evening is a variety show produced and broadcast by CCTV. With the theme of "Going Home for the New Year", the party presents a warm, peaceful, joyful and festive party for the audience with four sections: the Year of the Loong, Home, the 30th Spring Festival Evening and The World Family.
Reference: struggle-Baidu encyclopedia
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