What if the wife and parents don't get along? How much does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect marriage?

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a topic of great concern to everyone. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is generally difficult to deal with, because after all, they are not a family, and their personalities may conflict. It is very important for a daughter-in-law to have a harmonious relationship with her parents.

What if the wife and parents don't get along?

It is normal for parents and daughters-in-law to quarrel. This is because there is no blood relationship between parents and daughter-in-law. Thanks to your bond, they came under the same roof! What you have to do now is to give full play to your role as a link:

1. Right daughter-in-law: We should all regard each other's parents as our own biological parents, because without them, how could we be? We should respect them! If we don't get along with them, they will be angry. They were very angry. This is our unfilial. Besides, we don't honor our elders, and children will treat us like this in the future! At this rate, how can you!

2. To parents: Although you didn't raise her (daughter-in-law), she fell in love with me and married me. You can't treat her like an outsider. You should treat her like a daughter. You treat her as a daughter, and she will treat you as a daughter to honor! Longevity and making money is the last word. How nice it would be for our family to live in harmony!

How much does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect marriage?

Research shows that 47% of divorced couples in China are divorced because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. These couples failed to properly handle the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which led to discord between husband and wife. The civil war and the cold war continued, which had a great impact on both families and even caused a marriage crisis. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become a phenomenon in many families in China.

1, concept conflict

The age difference between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is at least 20 years. What my mother-in-law summed up from her old experience may not conform to the ever-changing modern society. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have their own ideas and opinions. Is apple more nutritious or kiwi fruit more nutritious? In fact, it is difficult to confirm right or wrong. Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law obviously feel reasonable, and conflicts are inevitable.

2. Jealous conspiracy

In my hometown, my son has lived with his parents for decades. The mother always takes care of her son, but after marriage, the son takes care of other women. For a mother, deep down, she is jealous of her daughter-in-law. For the daughter-in-law, the husband and himself already have a small family, but in many things, they pay more attention to their mother-in-law's opinions than their own. The influence of mother-in-law on her husband will also make her jealous of her mother-in-law.

3. Competition for resources

This resource refers to a sub-resource. I hope my mother-in-law's son is still the original son, and my daughter-in-law hopes her husband is just her husband. For mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the other side has more resources, but only less resources. In this antagonistic relationship, if the son competing for resources has moderate emotional intelligence, both sides can "coax" and ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. On the contrary, it is the worst case, and both sides will offend.

4. Family boundaries are chaotic.

For my mother-in-law, she and her son are a family, and she is used to entering her son's field. After her son gets married, if she doesn't realize that her son is already in a small family and her entry into the children's field is actually her daughter-in-law's, then she can easily invade her daughter-in-law's field without knowing it. As for the daughter-in-law, although she and her husband have formed a small family, she can't be separated from her husband's blood. If she wants to master her husband completely and hopes that he only cares about the small family and doesn't care about the family he comes from, it will easily lead to common hostility between her husband and her mother-in-law.

5. The influence of outside public opinion.

Since ancient times, there has been a saying in our country that "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies". It is also recognized that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult interpersonal relationship, so that everyone has formed a cognition. When the son gets married and there are new members in the family, let the mother-in-law be wary of the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law be wary of the mother-in-law. In daily life, it is easy for both sides with bad feelings to misinterpret each other's behavior and form a vicious circle!

How to deal with the bad relationship between wife and mother?

When there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, at this time, as a man, you must not take sides with one of them and accuse one of them, so that your mother will think that you have married your daughter-in-law and forgotten your mother, and let your daughter-in-law think that you are bullying her with your mother. Many times it is unreasonable for women to quarrel. Don't reason with them, especially those two women who quarrel. Things must be persuaded separately afterwards. If you don't persuade in public, it's easy to cause some trouble. Some women especially like to yell at their neighbors to judge when they quarrel. Is this for others to judge? This is obviously a joke to others. This kind of thing hurts family relations.

Act like a man at the critical moment. Don't give in to Nuo Nuo. Your wife and your mother quarreled for the first time. As a result, you just stood there silently and watched them fight bigger and bigger. Are you ambitious? Show some momentum and stop them! Usually, the best way for a man is to please both sides. Praise your wife with your mother here, and praise your mother with your daughter-in-law there. You can pretend to buy some gifts for each other properly. Even if this behavior is discovered, they will understand that you did it for the sake of family harmony. Discuss everything with your wife and mother, and try not to do anything that causes contradictions between them.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good. Is it better to divorce or not to divorce?

1. The basic relationship between people leads to a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It is not only the main bond between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also a branch bond around the closest people around. There are many mother-in-law problems here. For example, in the main ties, the mother-in-law is out of character, looks down on her daughter-in-law, feels that her husband is incompetent, and feels that she looks down on her son. Her husband does not know how to coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even helps her suppress her daughter-in-law, or helps her blame her mother. There must be endless reasons at this moment. Every mother-in-law relationship has its own difficulties.

Suggestion: On the other hand, this is also the reason for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Is it better to divorce or not to divorce? I can't help you make a decision. You know other people's mother-in-law problems don't necessarily apply to you. Maybe her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can make up, and you have no solution. But here are some ideas. Take your divorce decision as a balance for the time being, and then see which is more important to you. The first thing that comes to mind is: have the two sides made a compromise on the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? If not, are you willing to continue to compromise? The second thought is: Does your partner often leave you alone? Faced with your help, have you done anything to help you? The third thought is: should we maintain this family or pursue ideal happiness? After thinking about these three questions, you will actually have an answer in your heart, because when you decide to divorce, there is no perfect answer, and there is no real right or wrong, because there is a certain proportion of good and bad results. If you accept a good choice, you are bound to bear the bad result. This is something you need to think clearly.

2. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by family environment factors is not good.

The combination of two different family environments will inevitably lead to many contradictions, such as contradictions in life, such as contradictions in consumption concepts and contradictions in family education. This factor is often more difficult to reconcile than the first one, because the family environment is generally a big atmosphere, not changing each other, but a process of mutual adaptation. What should we do in the face of this mother-in-law problem?

Suggestion: Although family environment problems are difficult to reconcile, they can still coexist. I read a picture and text on the Internet. A notched circle happens to meet a notch. Maybe because it's so right, the gap is still getting bigger and bigger, and it is likely to gradually become inappropriate. However, the best model is that the two circles can go further, just like two different family environments. It also shows that we are in a family where the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good. The key is not to cater to each other, but to find a symbiotic balance, such as reaching a tacit understanding, an agreement and mutual respect. Perhaps this is the key to easing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As for divorce, if it is not found consciously, it will not be a regrettable decision.

3. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by external factors is not good.

Such as social factors and historical factors. Of course, we can't underestimate the influence of external factors, because this is a deep-rooted concept, such as male superiority, son preference, social comparison and so on. Will indirectly affect the harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Bian Xiao often hears some mother-in-law speak ill of her daughter-in-law behind her back, and then compares how good her daughter-in-law is. Should I get a divorce in the face of this mother-in-law problem?

Suggestion: This historical factor will collide with the ongoing social factors. They either influence the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or restrict each other to create a harmonious relationship. The key is who will be the medium. The media plays a role in conveying ideas. Of course, you already think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be divorced. Naturally, it can't be conveyed and can only be handed over to a third party. For example, the mother-in-law's third party, the son is the most convincing, the father-in-law is the most convincing, and some credible social information is the most convincing. Will be more effective than yours. Doesn't mean that your idea is correct, so you also need to learn to understand some old ideas, or new ideas, new ideas, so that your heart can be truly calm. I think to understand these truths, in fact, it is inseparable from superficial maintenance such as divorce, which is not the main direction of your struggle. It's just a piece of paper from the Civil Affairs Bureau. The key is whether you want to continue to work hard for this marriage after you think about these factors.