Ask for a lot of 30-word jokes

After the physiology class, Xiao Ming asked the teacher

"Teacher, is it comfortable for a man or a woman to have sex?"

"Just pick your nose with your hand!" Xiaoming sat down.

After a while, Xiao Ming stood up again.

"Teacher, why can't you have sex during your period?"

"You have a nosebleed, can you still dig?" Xiaoming sat down again.

After a while, Xiao Ming stood up again.

"Teacher, since women are comfortable during sex, why is it called rape to have sex with you forcibly?"

The teacher shouted impatiently, "You were walking in the street, and someone came up and dug your nose. Will you? " 1. The headmaster and English teacher visited a middle school in France. The headmaster spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher translated.

Principal: "Teachers and students!"

English teacher: "Ladies and gentlemen!"

Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen.

! "

English teacher-_-! Thought for a moment and said, "Good morning!"

Subject: "

! "

English teacher: ... = = "Sweat.

2. Say there is one

Because the snow is too dazzling, it must be

He wanted to see things, but he couldn't find sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, and his hands and feet were dirty looking for sunglasses. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He passes through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn became useless.

! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: yours, Xiao Ming.

It looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.

7.

One day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down. Then the peeled banana becomes

~

8. One day, three days

Finally, I found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as I stand on the edge of the valley, shout what I want and then jump into the valley, I will get what I want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " arrive

There is really a beautiful woman waiting for him.

The second one is

, shouting "book book book!" Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third one is

People,

Always unable to decide what he likes best, after an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

9. What about Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

10. The panda loves it deeply.

I was rejected when I expressed my love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for?

Said timidly, my mother said:

They are all.

1 1. One day, Xiao Ming was walking on the road. I suddenly feel sore when I walk! Why is this happening? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest?

(Cool)

The towel said to the coin, son. You put it on

, also worth one hundred times.

The "ruler" said to "do": Sister, the results have come out. You are pregnant with twins.

The minister said to the giant: the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student that there were ten birds in the tree and one was shot dead. How much is left?

The student asked: Yes.

Really? No, how loud was the shot? 80- 100 decibel. Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city? No offense. Are you sure that bird was really killed? Of course. At this time, the teacher was impatient: "Will you just tell me how many birds are left?" Are there some deaf birds in the tree? No. Have you ever been caged and hung from a tree? No. Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? No, if a bird is pregnant, is it a bird in its belly? Not exactly. Is there a flower in the bird photographer's eye? There are no flowers, only ten. The teacher was sweating all over, and the bell rang, but the students continued to ask: Are there any stupid birds that are not afraid of death? Fear of death. Yes or no

Two people are dead? No, the student said confidently, if your answer is not a lie, "if the bird that was killed hangs on the tree and doesn't fall, there is only one left." If it falls, there will be none left. " . The teacher immediately foaming at the mouth fell to the ground!

14. One day, someone passed by the intersection and found something super scary. male

Kathy and the Monkey King are laughing!

15.

One night, there were three shrimps in the pond, hahaha, one.

I farted to death

16. A female alien engaged in biological research came to the earth. Turning around, she felt that there were many things worth learning from human genes, so she arrested a person and wanted to take him back with written information about human genes. But the ship is too small to take him away, and the information is too huge to take away at one time. Just when she was anxious, the computer help system of the spaceship said, "This man has a small stick, which can solve all your problems …" Then she suddenly realized and smiled and said to the drooling man. . . . . Give me the flash drive! " .

17. There was a trap crossing the road and I was accidentally run over by a truck. male

He looked at his body and said, "Me too."

Son, no

Son's "

18. Brother, stop touching it! You touched the top and the bottom, and your hair fell out. Such tender skin, you have touched all the water! How do you want me to sell it later? These peaches are all fresh, don't buy them!

19. Once upon a time, there was a lamb. One day he went out to play and met him.

.

Say: I want to eat you! ! ! The lamb is frightened! Guess what happened? result

Eat mutton.

20. Once upon a time, there was a swordsman. He was cold, his heart was cold, his sword was cold, and finally he died of cold.

2 1. Once upon a time, there was a tiger chasing a deer on the road! The deer was frightened, ran faster and faster, and finally turned into a highway.

22. There was a tomato, which was stirred by a stone.

Shit, there's a tomato.

It's broken again. There's a tomato.

Countless tomatoes were broken, and the last tomato fell. Da da da!

Yeah!

23. The soldier asked

What should I do if I step on a mine in battle?

Greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

24. One day,

In order to avoid being chased by wolves, three huts were built. The wolf easily blew up the hut,

, brick house,

The children ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them.

Desperately, it's up to you. We gave up. Whatever. At this moment, the wolf came.

Then she drooled and said, "Tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is." .

25. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

26. Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are by the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

27. There are two structures.

Accidentally made it face value 15 yuan.

The two decided to spend it in a remote mountainous area. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws from 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two pieces of 7 yuan.

28. Someone's newly-installed phone has just been rented out by the cinema, so people often call to ask about the movies being shown. At the beginning, he always explained politely that this phone is no longer his, so please don't call again. After a long time, he also felt annoyed and simply said, "You have the wrong number!" " This will also save some saliva. One day, a familiar voice came from the other side: "What movie is showing now?" As usual, he said, "You have the wrong number!" After a moment of silence, the other party replied: "Is it a domestic film or?"

And then what?

29. One person

When I left school, I was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked: Why not go from the school gate? Answer:

Bang Wei,

. The headmaster asked again: how did such a high wall cross over? He pointed to his trousers and said:

.

The headmaster asked again:

What is it like? He pointed to the shoes and said:

The feeling of flying. The next day he entered the school from the main entrance, and the principal asked, why not?

Is it? He said:

I choose, I like. On the third day, he wore a gangster costume. The headmaster said: You can't wear a gangster costume! He said, you are what you wear, Mason. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to school. The headmaster said he couldn't wear a vest to school. He said, man, simple is good, love fort clothes. The headmaster said I would give you a bigger score. He said: Why? The principal said that the M-Zone,

.

Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said he would make one.

As a result, I don't know what he has become now, Oh4000 yuan.

3 1. Notice to robbers: Our staff only know Spanish, so please be patient when robbing, and it is best to bring an interpreter. Thank you!

32.are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

33. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

34. Tourist: Master, what's that over there?

Is it a toilet? Monk: Except that.

The rest of the places are toilets.

35. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

36. defecation and urination are

One day, I was killed by a car while crossing the road. When I urinated, I said, I really want to shit …

I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes when training.

? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

38. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.

39. thief a: count how much money was robbed today? Thief B: No, just read the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and pee farther.

4 1. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

43.

A young woman passed by a house.

Suddenly there was a "wow" from behind. The woman turned to look, a

That man is chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead, woman.

Kneeling on the ground, crying and pleading: "Whatever, just please don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "

44. once

The host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following:

, set off your

! All the audience

! ! ! Cold ~ ~ ~

45. Tigers don't send cats. You think I'm dying!

46. A person in our dormitory is drunk and wants to leave.

Then he brought out a cold sentence: if you drink too much urine, you drink too much wine.

47. Go with my sister

When buying shoes, my sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

48. In the past, others visited menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " "

49. In college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid! I spit on your face.

50. When I was a child, I usually sold popsicles and ice cream by pushing bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. (I guess my aunt used to sell it.

).

5 1. My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

52. Once KTV ordered a song, a MM shouted: Give me a Shuang Jie with a stick every week.

53. One day, in the big forest, the fox was smoking.

, at this time

Running from afar, seeing all this, he came over and said, fox, how can you smoke?

Well, it's not good for your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox was right, so he and

Run, run and run together. They see elephants sucking.

Run to the elephant and say, elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look how fresh the air is. Run with me. Elephants think it's right to run together. Running and running, I saw the lion roll up his sleeves and was about to inject.

Little rabbit shouted to the lion from a distance: lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look how fresh the air is. Run with me ... I saw the lion put it down.

Rush over and beat the rabbit crazy, elephant

Say to the lion: Why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health. The lion said: since the rabbit ate it.

Then let me run with him every day!