Why is wine full of respect and tea full of ceremony? What are the allusions?

Analysis:

politeness

"Three days' invitation, two days' phone call, and the same day's mention"

It's polite to treat guests at a wedding. It is impolite to send invitations or notify friends and relatives three days before the wedding. Three days before the notice, you were a "please" person; I called you two days ago; On that day, you were a tipper. People who know manners are very picky and don't come at all Important relatives and friends usually come to the door to inform the invitation in person one month before marriage.

"No size for three days"

There are strict rules when dealing with people of all ages, and you can't just do it. However, within three days of the wedding at home, you can transcend seniority and relationship, just make a joke, don't stick to it, just to love one person. Of course, you can't go too far. Such as your father-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't be casual.

"It's all about people."

When the groom enters the bridal chamber, the bedding for his first night is not laid by himself, but must be taken care of by "people" This "whole person" is generally a female elder, healthy, disease-free, and parents, husbands and children are alive. What's more, put some peanuts, dates and chestnuts in the bed.

There are many ceremonies in this kind of wedding ceremony, such as "winning or not, uncertain" and "pregnant' four-eyed people' can't get married". These ceremonies are very superstitious

"The second child holds the basin, and the boss falls."

Marriage is a happy event, and old Beijingers call funeral a happy event, which is called "happy funeral". This is how the word "weddings, funerals, weddings and happy events" came from. The "happy reward" we say here generally refers to the death of the elderly, and the premature death of abnormal death cannot be called happy funeral. There is a saying at the funeral: the second son holds a basin, and the boss throws a basin to show respect for peace. In the past, when there was no asphalt concrete floor, if the washbasin was not broken, the children who were watching could flock to grab the mourning hats worn by the funeral family, and the family could not stop it. So now I can sometimes hear the words from an old man: "What did you hit?" ! Grab the hat of filial piety? "

"The wine is full of respect and the tea is full."

There's a saying when treating people: pour wine when persuading people to drink, and don't pour wine when pouring tea. If it is full, it is driving away the guests. A further statement is: "tea seven, rice eight, wine ten." Tea is poured to the point where it is seven minutes full; Eating at eight o'clock is called "touching your nose", which is disrespectful to the guests. On the other hand, exquisite guests generally don't "return to the bowl", that is, they don't add rice after a bowl. When eating, both the host and the guest should carry the bottom of the bowl with their hands. If the bowl is placed on the table, hold the edge of the bowl by hand.

Golden Rooster Three Nods

This is an expression of gratitude. When someone pours you wine and tea, a polite person will pat the old child three times with his forefinger and middle finger to express his gratitude. If you look carefully, your index finger and middle finger should be bent and hit the desktop.

There is a legend here. Gan Long disguised himself as a footman and traveled incognito. When he was pouring tea for his servant, the servant could not kneel in court, so he used his index finger and middle finger instead of his legs to make a kneeling shape to apologize. I'm afraid it's impossible to know whether there is such a thing.

Excuse me, this way, please.

Deliberately, this ranking is also a branch of etiquette. Today, it can also be a pulse of its own.

There was a time in the Water Margin that "Liang Shanbo's heroes ranked first", which meant that he was rewarded for his merits, but in fact he was seniority.

Old Beijing is very particular about these. Although it is not so fine now, it still has that meaning. When I say "seniority" here, I mean the original intention and some stress in people's lives.

"Sit facing south"

When friends and relatives have dinner, the seat facing south must be reserved for the most senior person. This habit may have a long history. People used to live in bungalows, the first one facing south; In the quadrangles of old Beijing, the main room is the north room. So the seats facing south are called full seats. Now, it's hard to say that this building is positive. To say this gift, the host will designate a main seat, and others will order it in turn.

"Right is respect"

If the main seat is determined, then the seat on the right side of the main seat is the most prestigious. There is an idiom in ancient Chinese: unparalleled. It means no more than. This probably stems from the understanding that "rights are the most important".

Whether it is "full" or "nothing to be respected", this etiquette sometimes causes a lot of trouble. Sometimes it's difficult to distinguish between qualifications and qualifications. How to arrange it? Especially in social occasions, including some international conferences, simply change the round table and sit in a circle, and no one needs to argue.

Braids by the window

There is also a saying in old Beijing: When my uncle first came to my mother-in-law's house, he was also listed as a distinguished guest. Especially in the rural areas in the suburbs of Beijing, in the early days, all the homes were heatable adobe sleeping platform, so if you want to eat on the heatable adobe sleeping platform, you will usually arrange children to sit by the back window to show your respect. In the Qing Dynasty, men wore pigtails, which was called "pigtails by the window".

Now old Beijingers still love to tease men who come to their door with this sentence: "Drink, braid by the window."

"Uncle, aunt"

These two names are mainly related to the sorting on the wedding table. According to the rules of Beijing, the central figure of a woman's family is her uncle. When my uncle sends a man, he can put on the "uncle" shelf and be qualified to choose gifts and pick and choose. The man's family is going to visit his mother's uncle. In the man's family, the core figure is the groom's aunt. Take care of her inside and out, call this "aunt". There is a saying among the people: Cousin, Cousin, broken bones are connected with tendons. This explains the identity of "uncle" and "aunt" from the blood relationship. Therefore, the main table on the wedding day should be reserved for the family and uncle.

"On generations regardless of age"

Some big families in the early days either got married or got married in their later years. At this time, the seniority of their family was out of touch with their age. The younger generation is older and the older generation is younger. At this time, when it comes to sorting, it is generally regardless of age. The so-called "radish grows in the next generation."

There will probably be no new big boys at present. Therefore, it is rare for a nephew to hold an uncle.

Appellation-you have to call an old party to buy tofu.

Have you ever heard of Uncle Beijing? This "uncle" is not a respectful name, and the word "grandpa" is flat to read, which is a contempt for teasing dude.

This is what we have here. Manchu's address in the flag is very different from what we call it now, and sometimes it is of great significance.

"A Niang": Call Dad.

"Dad": Call Mom.

"Lady": This is the address for aunt.

Uncle: Uncle, uncle's name.

The names listed above are ugly except "Uncle".

"master"

This title was abused before the 1980s, including now, and you can still hear it in Beijing. At the earliest, this was a specific direction. Apprentices learn skills and call professors masters. Continuing to modern factories and enterprises, master is still the most popular title, not divorced from the original intention. However, it doesn't matter whether people are called "master" or not, whether they know each other or not. This is because sometimes there is no proper official title. Calling it "comrade" is too rigid and inappropriate. You can call it "sir". It's ancient and foreign, and it's awkward to call it out. In this way, "master" is called red abuse. However, addressing a master is not a respectful title.

"sir"

I'm not sure if it means "born first". The word "root" refers to a respectful name for a knowledgeable and literate person. Later, teachers who taught in old private schools were also called Mr .. other meaning included husbands.

This word only became popular after the 1990s. English foreigner's "sir" is the most popular general term, which is translated into Chinese as sir. When we use this word now, we really can't tell whether it is the popularity of foreign flavor or the original intention of rebirth.

"man"

This is the intimate address of the elder to the younger generation. "Dude, go and ask your father to come over for a drink."

The rudest greetings are "Hey" and "Hello".

Old Beijingers often have a word on their lips: the old side. At first glance, you can't figure out what this means. Let's look at a complete sentence.

Asked the truth, he asked, hey, how to get to Peking University?

Old Beijingers: Hey, who's there? You have to call an old man to buy tofu, understand?

This "old edge" refers to the corner of a whole piece of tofu, which is the strongest, with less water and no weight. Therefore, when old Beijingers go shopping for tofu for the first time, they usually cut corners first.

In this way, for people who don't know the rules, the word "Lao Fang" is often used. By the way, when you ask questions on the roadside, you can't ask them while walking, nor can you ask them while riding in a car. The driver can't sit in the car and ask. You must stop, grab the car and get off.

You see, there are so many rules. If you don't say, well, I'll show you. Better, ignore you, meet something different, give you a dead end, you go around.

Custom-where are so many "moms"?

Let's start with the Chinese New Year.

I don't know if you have heard the old saying: Where did you get so many "mom orders"? ) "I hope the words are meaningful. I guess it means this: Where are you so busy? Or: where there are so many poor people.

Now we can understand that "mother gives birth" is a kind of pressure, involving a wide range, weddings and funerals, and short parents.

"step on age"

On New Year's Eve, every household should peel peanuts and eat melon seeds, so as not to let the skin sweep all over the floor and allow them to step on their feet. This is stepping on the old times and deliberately "stepping on". Stepping on it is also making money, and you can't sweep out the "money".

"Don't move the knife for the first three days."

From the first day to the fifth day, Beijingers call it "big year", and from the fifth day to the fifteenth day it is called off-year Traditionally, Beijingers steamed several pots of steamed bread and bean bags in advance, wrapped jiaozi and cut vegetables. During the Chinese New Year, they are all hot-fried and live together. In the meantime, they can't use knives.

"Three days ago, my daughter-in-law didn't see her family."

From grade one to grade three, a daughter-in-law can't go back to her mother's house, so she has to stay at her mother-in-law's. And the husband can go to the mother-in-law's house to pay New Year's greetings. After the Chinese New Year, the daughter-in-law went back to her family. On the second day of the second lunar month, the husband went to meet his daughter-in-law at her mother's house. People in Beijing call it "picking up the baby".

"Thirty years old"

Both men and women have to spend 30 nights at their parents' home. They don't pay New Year's greetings or call on people. This is called "Shounian". When the clock strikes midnight, the younger generation will pay New Year greetings to the elders, and the elders will give the younger generation lucky money. When greeting the New Year, the man should kowtow early, lay the mat in advance, kneel on his lap and nod: "Grandma, the grandson kowtows to you." "Get up, good boy, this is grandma's lucky money."

In front of their eyes, elegant people kowtow in the New Year, but one leg bends down and one arm sticks out, even if they are knocked down. As for the woman, she will "squat" when visiting the New Year, put her hands on her waist, bend down, and it will be over.

"Moving Bird's Nest"

This gift is also said by Beijingers. Don't go out for a month after the baby is born. On the first day of the boy's full moon, grandparents held a "full moon" for their grandson. Girls do it on the full moon.

After the full moon, the woman takes the child back to her mother's house, which is called "moving the nest". It is also a shame to change rooms unconditionally at home.

"Mother-in-law loves children, 1 10."

This is also the rhetoric in "Linger Mom". According to this gift, being a mother hurts her uncle more than her daughter-in-law. Her uncle may not like her father-in-law, but she must be very popular with her mother-in-law here.

"The old man continued his aunt, and no one laughed."

Among the relatives, the relationship between the man and his wife's sister should be the most harmonious. You can make fun of Doby's family. However, uncle can't tease brother-in-law and keep a little dignity at home.

After losing their wives, many men in Beijing continued to marry their sister-in-law, and no one laughed. This is in line with the rules.