Mei Sheng: It's all family of origin's fault, but it's your excuse.

In Ode to Joy, Fan has a classic line "One's family is one's destiny", which means that no matter how hard you try, you can't escape from the cage set by your family.

Fan Meisheng is smart and beautiful. After working for 78 years, she was promoted to senior HR of a foreign company. In the first quarter, she mentioned that her after-tax salary was 654.38+00,000, which was still a fair income. Coincidentally, she has no savings, and she is the only one of the five Americans who still needs to run for food and clothing.

Because she needs to support a bottomless family. In order to support my father who was paralyzed by stroke, I have to support my younger brother's family of three, buy a house and raise children. A weak woman has to clean up the mess for her troubled brother from time to time. She has to pay off his gambling debts and take care of her brother and sister-in-law who were caught posting pornographic advertisements all over the street.

Fan is very wronged, and onlookers will wonder if she is really her own. The shackles of the feudal family made this radiant woman either encounter problems and have nothing to do, or look for the rich man to take over with her own wishes.

Fan Meisheng is a compromise character. Knowing that the burden at home is beyond her capacity, she is still struggling to support it. When I meet my mother's call for help, it's easy to tear my heart out and lose my mind.

On weekdays, I am very active and thoughtful, but I can only cry when things happen at home. Who can help me? Not the usual glib and aggressive Fan Jie at all.

02

Because in front of Fan's family, Fan will become a wronged and flattered little girl. It doesn't matter if you don't love me I work hard and pay for you. As long as you are happy, it's okay for me to suffer a little.

She doesn't think about whether these demands are reasonable or not and whether she can bear them. Most of the income is sent home and squeezed into an apartment shared by three people. In order to save more money in the account and make a living by instant noodles, all the brand-name bags received should be taken away and converted into cash as a family's living expenses. ...

Fan's family can easily make excessive demands, just because of Fan's ingratiation. Because of my efforts, I can still get temporary thanks from my parents, not even praise. "You see a family, you are the most hopeful", which makes her feel a little tenderness.

This little desire for love can prove her sense of existence and value. If children don't even love their closest parents, how can there be a meaning of existence?

With the support of the other four beautiful women, this mode of getting along began to change. Although reluctant to give up, I insist on not investing indefinitely at home.

But can this draw a line? It's hard. Because Fan's family is not used to Fan's transformation, "How can you leave your family behind?" Then, there was a farce, carrying the half-dead Fan Fu to Wang Baichuan's home.

03

Lack of love from childhood made Fan not care about her feelings. Knowing that it is important to be a suitable family, go to the gathering place of the rich to "pinch the tip". She knows it is impossible to find true love there, but she is willing to deceive herself so that she can have a chance to marry a rich man and pay for her family.

Wang Baichuan's appearance is her lifeline. So, she upgraded from filling the loophole by herself to pulling Wang Baichuan to fill the bottomless pit in Jia Fan. Although she didn't accept Wang Baichuan's material help at first, in fact, she expected to have a bigger backer-to have her own home in Shanghai.

Fan didn't set boundaries, which not only made her forget herself, but also completely ignored her needs. Whenever Fan Jia has something, she starts to count on Wang Baichuan. It is best that Wang Baichuan can go to the front in time like the Monkey King when she needs it.

What I often hear is that Wang Baichuan tells her not to worry about buying a house soon. However, I seldom hear Fan's advice to have more rest. After all, at the beginning, Mei Sheng explicitly rejected his brother Shirakawa. If Shirakawa hadn't insisted on striving for Xiaomei's happiness, Fan Jie would still be looking for a rich husband at the moment.

Unfortunately, the Shirakawa brothers can't hold Jia Fan's mountain. When Mei Sheng complained again and again, let Shirakawa find a way. Shirakawa began to lose contact and didn't even take the initiative to talk to each other.

The lyrics of "It's Time to Let Go" are probably his repressed real thoughts. In the car, Shirakawa sent a message to Sheng Hairdressing as a third person, and then turned off the phone and lost contact.

04

When it comes to daily necessities, the initial oath is fragile. If Wang Baichuan had weighed his weight and ability from the beginning, he wouldn't have squeezed himself down, and he was very tired to find that he couldn't satisfy Fan Meisheng.

Beating a beautiful woman is just an unfinished event in psychology. You can see that Shirakawa said from time to time that he never thought that two people could be together, and it was like dreaming after becoming lovers.

"Unfinished events" originated from Gestalt psychology which was born in the early 20th century. It emphasizes this moment, emphasizing full learning, understanding and feeling this moment. "Unfinished events" will continue to exist until individuals dare to face and deal with these unexpressed emotions.

Thus, Shirakawa's love for Mei Sheng is a bitter secret love for many years. In his words, I have loved you for half my life. Finally, I seized the opportunity to express that I would rather bear the burden of the whole Fan family than choose to be together. Unfortunately, Shirakawa did not expect that he was too "thin".

Economically, he can't fill this big hole first, even if he just wants to support Fan's parents, because there is no limit to winning the United States, and he always follows Fan's brother and sister-in-law. Emotionally, he couldn't stand his mother's advice again and again, and he won the cry and pressed hard.

Wang Baichuan loves himself more than fans, but he is afraid of having no ending after all these years. He chose to escape and did not break up easily. What he can't let go of is not Fan Meisheng, but the time, experience and feelings he has invested for so many years.

This tiring intimate relationship between "you buy a house quickly" and "I work hard" is a wise choice to separate. It is better to forget each other than to care about them.

05

Andy once hit the nail on the head: "It is difficult for you to find an independent spirit and a strong personality among those who have no confidence to find the future by their own efforts."

Fan Meisheng is glamorous and confident. Actually, her inner self-esteem is very low. Admittedly, it is influenced by the family concept of son preference. So can she really only carry the burden in the shadow of her family background? Can her life turn over?

Oprah winfrey, the famous American talk show queen, is a successful model of black women. If you look at her family background and everything she has experienced, you will be surprised at her later creation.

But a word from her biological father made her start over. Some people let things happen, some people watch things happen, and some people don't know what happened.

Next, Oprah began the counterattack of life.

Oprah's change comes from a change of mind. She couldn't get her mother's blessing, and suffered so many heavy physical and mental injuries, but none of them were knocked down. Therefore, how life goes on depends on our attitude, and you are the master of your own destiny.

06

When you meet an unfortunate family, crying can't solve the problem, and it's not reliable to rely on men. The only thing you can rely on is yourself. What can Katsumi do?

First, the learning ability and emotional intelligence of winning beauty are not low. As long as you are willing to study and spend time on dressing up and improving yourself, your income will definitely be several times higher than it is now. Why rely on men when you are strong and rich?

Second, psychologically accept your inferiority and timidity, and admit the love that the family can't give. Learn to truly love yourself and make yourself happy. Love yourself, you can truly love others, and you don't have to compromise.

Third, establish a real border with Jia Fan. Parents' support is inescapable, but the brother and sister-in-law family continue to make trouble without reason and can resort to legal channels to solve it. You are soft-hearted and can't get the respect of others.

As Teacher Bi Shumin said: Man creates and destroys himself, and he will always be his master. Even when he is weakest and loneliest, he is his own master. When he began to reflect on his situation and look for the rules on which his life was based, he gradually calmed down and became happy.

You reached a tacit understanding with our psychological group today. You are a master of creating harmony.

end

Xiao Na's previous articles:

Guan Juer: Everyone yearns for freedom and perfection.

Andy: We all have a frightened child inside.

Qu Xiaoyu: Will you do anything for your friends?

Qiu Yingying: Should a good horse return to the grass?

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