Tell me some jokes "Don't be cold"

A brother chases his girlfriend, and every morning he has a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted.

One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. His girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. " He proudly said, "Of course I can't find it. I chewed it up ... "

Today, I traveled to a place, and my boss invited me to eat a special dish (boiled eggs in urine). I tactfully excused myself from eating eggs since I was a child. As a result, my boss enthusiastically said, then you want soup!

Two frogs fell in love for many days and got married. After marriage, they gave birth to a baby. The male frog happily picked up the little frog. Look carefully, it's a toad! The male frog was furious and grabbed his wife's neck tightly. "Tell me, what's going on?" ! With tears in her eyes, the female frog managed to suppress a sentence: "I had plastic surgery before I met you! " "

The babysitter was very loud, and the host told her that all the people who came here tonight were important people, so be sure to keep your voice down. After dinner, the host plays cards with the guests. After cleaning up, the little babysitter wanted to go to bed early, so she leaned into her master's ear and whispered, "Then I'll go to bed first."

As soon as I became a brother, I liked driving after drinking. Once, I came home and met xxx checking the car. Just as he secretly called unlucky to get off the bus for inspection, xxx received a phone call, holding a mobile phone, bossing around and talking endlessly. As soon as he saw the opportunity, he quietly returned to the car and drove home in a hurry while xxx was on the phone unprepared. The next day, someone knocked at his door. It was yesterday's xxx. Now that his wine is awake, he naturally asks xxx confidently, "What are you doing here? What can I do for you? " Xxx said, "I have already driven your car to the door. Now, can you give me my police car back? "

Today, I went to pay a New Year call, hanged myself in front of a bunch of relatives, and I was criticized for not getting married together! I can't say it's none of your business just because I'm an elder!

One day, a mother took her daughter, who had just returned from her honeymoon and was deeply nearsighted, to the ophthalmology emergency department and said angrily to the doctor: The person who accompanied her back was not the one who accompanied her on her honeymoon before!

Panda man wants QJ panda woman, and panda woman struggles and resists to the death.

After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

Lao Li's daughter-in-law is at home all day.

Lao Li had no choice but to find a matchmaker and said, "When you introduced our baby to others, you kept saying that she was a good woman, and she ended up like this ..."

The matchmaker explained, "I only said she was a good woman, not a good wife!" " "

When I was in middle school, I once called home: "Mom"

"Who is it?" Who will call your mother except me? ! )

"I, * * (my name)"—"Oh, * * has gone to school, please call again tonight."

Say that finish, hang up the phone ... I'm sweating |||||||

Is that enough? Friend!