How to enhance language communication skills

(1) Learn to listen:

It means learning to listen carefully to the other party, restrain your desire to interrupt, and not judge the other party's narrative based on personal values. In addition, during the listening process, you must learn to be silent, learn to concentrate, learn to put yourself in the speaker's shoes and experience the inner feelings of the speaker, and make a heartfelt sympathetic response. Moreover, you must avoid a state of inattention and mechanical listening, synchronize your thinking with the rhythm of the other party's speech, and actively think and ask questions so that communication can be effective and continued.

(2) Learn to pay attention:

It is to listen to the other party's speech with full concentration, carefully observe their subtle changes in emotion and body, and make a positive response. Cathexis also requires the effective use of speech and body language to express concern and understanding of the speaker, so that the speaker feels that every word he speaks and every emotion he expresses is taken seriously. The verbal expressions include "um", "oh", "yes", "I understand" and other accompanying words, while the body language expressions include nodding, staring, facial expression changes and a certain amount of silence to deepen the other party's understanding of themselves. of trust. It is necessary to avoid the phenomenon of "focusing on oneself, others talk about others, and I am myself". This does not respect others and cannot effectively observe the other party, which reduces the efficiency of communication.

(3) Learn to be silent:

It is to pay attention to giving the other party an opportunity for emotional solitude and reflection during communication. The use of silence also usually requires the cooperation of body language, such as nodding, changes in gaze expression, etc. However, if silence is used improperly, it will become confrontational silence, causing the other party to lack trust in one's own statements, resulting in negative reactions to communication and exchanges. In this regard, we must make good distinctions and respond flexibly. You should avoid being impatient with silence, being eager to find topics when silence occurs, being eager to give suggestions to others, or looking awkward and not knowing how to communicate.

(4) Learn to empathize:

It is to accurately grasp the emotional experience of the speaker and help the other party to pour out the long-standing emotional troubles, so as to bring great energy to the other party relief. "Emotional focus" requires people to actively capture the speaker's emotional expression during verbal communication, and say more words such as "How do you feel?" "You must feel very angry (happy)" so that the other party can express his or her heart. Avoid rushing to comfort the other person when they are venting their emotions, as many people often say, "Okay, okay, don't cry anymore", or have no sympathy or affection for others' emotions and just make rational analysis. , such communication is difficult to achieve understanding.

(5) Learn to give feedback:

It is to take the initiative to ask questions and think actively during the dialogue, so that the other party can fully feel your focus and investment, and also ensure that you can understand the other party accurately. content of the speech. Therefore, "timely feedback" will push you to constantly ask questions during the conversation and clarify the other party's meaning through different expressions. In addition, when giving feedback, it is necessary to use a discussion and discussion tone rather than a commanding and suggesting tone. Do not impose personal beliefs and values, so that the other party can fully enjoy the right to think and self-determination. In normal times, you must cultivate your ability to express yourself, express your thoughts accurately, and avoid the phenomenon of understanding but unclear expressions.

(6) Learn to summarize:

It is to constantly make summaries during the dialogue to clarify the key points and summarize the center, so that people feel that the communication between each other is fruitful. "Continuous summarization" will push you to review what you have said during the conversation, and use this to effectively adjust the content of the communication between the two parties and ensure that both parties in the conversation fully understand what the other party is saying. Moreover, constant summarization can avoid the phenomena of random listening and speaking, frequent digressions, and ineffective waste of time.

(7) Learn to criticize less:

This is to get rid of the "savior complex" in dialogue. It is easy for some people to preach to the other person when they are talking. Doing so will often make the other party feel annoyed and disappointed, because you are eager to teach the other party before you have given the other party a chance to talk or understand his troubles and difficulties. It is easy to fall into the communication trap of being subjective and arbitrary. Therefore, when communicating, you must pay attention to empathy, speak with empathy, and do not feel too good about yourself or offend others.

(8) Learn to open dialogue:

It means to achieve "three more and three less" in the dialogue, more discussions, less suggestions, more questions, less comments, more inspiration, Criticize less.

It requires people to ask more open-ended questions such as "How do you feel?" "What do you think?" and less "You must feel bad?" "Why do you think so?!" and the like when speaking. Closed discourse so that the entire conversation is conducted on an equal footing.

(9) Give enough face:

That is to say, avoid using harsh, mean and sarcastic language when speaking, speak from the starting point of caring about and respecting the other party, and avoid creating embarrassment Or let the embarrassment continue. You don't need to be eager to show off your talents all the time. Sometimes pretending to be stupid is just to create a setback for others. Usually, others will respect you in this way. Of course, that's under normal circumstances. If you meet someone who deliberately makes things difficult for you, there is no need to give him face, but don't try to make others lose face, in case you lose more than you gain.

(10) Empathy:

It means trying to put yourself in the other person’s shoes during communication, so as to “focus your thoughts and align your emotions” with the other person as much as possible. This requires both parties to communicate to "listen carefully and speak to the point." When one party listens to the other party's narrative, he or she should devote himself wholeheartedly and give feedback in a timely manner, and constantly achieve spiritual "harmony" so that the other party can fully feel it. To respect and understand him.