A joke that relatives don't talk

The breaking of diplomatic relations between relatives in rural areas is being staged, and relatives do not leave every year. I think as a rural person, as a post-80s generation, this phenomenon is too familiar.

I used to have three uncles, four aunts and six aunts, and uncles and aunts. In short, there are many relatives, not including my own family. I used to spend the Spring Festival every year, and I started to go out on the second day of the second year, and I didn't finish until I visited my relatives in the first month 13. At that time, the Spring Festival was also very interesting.

Now the relatives in the countryside have obviously faded. First of all, there is a lack of liquidity between them. Second, the concept of fertility is changing now. Young people nowadays all want one or two children. For example, my grandfather's generation asked for nine children, and my grandfather had six children, not to mention my grandfather had several brothers. There are so many relatives that I can't even tell myself apart.

Now my aunt and uncle don't have any relatives, and they don't move anymore. They just meet now, and some of them don't know each other yet. Once I passed by my aunt's house, I told my friends that it was my old aunt's house, and then a child came out of it and watched it for a long time. My friends laughed at me. You said this was your aunt's house, you didn't know you, and you didn't buy me a drink. Family ties gradually fade away or even disappear.

I have four aunts, and now there is only one left. Although I am still walking during the Spring Festival, it is also a process of walking. After all, the relationship between cousins is far from perfect. Aunt Liu's relatives don't have to walk every year, and they are too old to walk. So I made it a rule that there is only one portal a year, such as going to menstruation's house this year and my second aunt's house next year, unlike in the past.

The phenomenon of divorce in rural areas is more serious. Of course, this is also a trend. Nowadays, young people don't like visiting relatives. They all like to travel during the Spring Festival. Relatives are getting weaker and weaker, and many old relatives are broken.

I'm almost the same. At least I have so many relatives. In my children's generation, relatives are our brothers and sisters and his uncle. There are one or two children in the countryside now, so I can't go back.

It seems that people who ask this question are nostalgic, but it also shows that they are really behind the times or have long been left behind by the times. There are fewer and fewer relatives, fewer and fewer people, and the birth rate is getting lower and lower. Many bachelors can't get married. We don't have to think much about what the future will be like. Live a good life now!

Old people often say that relatives are getting closer. In memory, visiting relatives is indeed an important event for elders in a year. Whether it's a wedding or a holiday, whether it's cash-strapped or busy, it won't delay visiting relatives. Some stories about visiting relatives are full of memories of childhood after 80s.

However, in recent years, no matter in rural or urban areas, there has been less and less movement between relatives, and even the situation of "breaking off diplomatic relations" has appeared. Let's not talk about small festivals on weekdays. Even during the Spring Festival, some relatives no longer walk around. The reasons for this phenomenon are as follows:

Social development and economic growth are inseparable from everyone's efforts. As the saying goes, "water flows downwards, and people go upwards." When children in rural areas grow up, they all want to go out of the mountains and travel to big cities. Gradually, they have jobs, places to make a living, families and children in big cities. Maybe I will go back to my hometown a few years ago. Gradually, those familiar faces are getting rusty, and those once hobbies are forgotten. He is still talking about the harvest in the field, but you are thinking about the work at hand. He can't understand the pressure of your mortgage repayment, and you don't want to know the state secrets he said. When we grow up, our life has changed, so have we, and the focus of life has changed. Naturally, it is easy to give up something that we think is not very important.

There is often a connection between relatives. Usually, it is possible to travel together within three generations. If this bond is not strong, it is possible not to leave within three generations. For example, I have an aunt (20 years older than my mother). She has a good relationship with my mother, and the two families have been walking around. Later, this aunt passed away, and we continued to take her children everywhere. However, both sides seem to feel a little different. Although the holidays are still walking around, I feel different from before. Because they live far away, the younger generation has a big age gap, and there is basically no intersection in things such as study and work. This kind of visiting relatives has gradually become a burden. Finally, everyone agreed to get together and take a walk only on a few big festivals.

I don't know if you feel this way. When you go back to your hometown to visit relatives, it is often because there is an old man who makes you extremely worried. Once the old man died, he basically lost his motivation.

Everyone's life is getting better and better, and their time is getting less and less. Whether living in rural areas or big cities, the pace of life of the younger generation is much faster than before.

Rural youth go out to work and stay for a whole year. Naturally, there is no movement between relatives on weekdays. It's hard to come back for the New Year, so I can only choose a few close relatives to walk around. If I go around all my relatives as before, it will be not only economically impossible, but also time-consuming. Visiting relatives in the countryside is also very particular about days. I have been working outside for a year during the Chinese New Year holiday, and I really don't want to waste all my time on it. As a result, some people who are not very close have reached a tacit understanding with each other and stopped walking.

Take a friend of mine who works in Beijing as an example. During the Chinese New Year, he only has more than ten days' holiday, and he has to waste two days on the road. When I get home, I won't stop. My parents, relatives, friends and classmates should take care of me. There are parents, relatives, friends and classmates on the wife's side, and nothing can be less. To tell the truth, as a bystander, I feel very tired for him, and he is even a little afraid to come back for the holidays. Later, he could only reduce walking with some relatives and friends who were not close.

This factor is objective and helpless. In a materialistic world, it is difficult for us to keep our original heart. Even if I try my best, I still remember to look for my former feelings, only to find that the other party has long forgotten your existence.

Even in the same village, if the economic gap between relatives is large, they will automatically choose to separate. After all, it is difficult for people to maintain absolute balance. Finally, I don't know whether the supremacy of money creates indifference or indifference creates the supremacy of money. After careful consideration, we have gained a lot and lost a lot in front of life, some of which we choose on our own initiative and some of which are involuntary.

Having said that, this is the countryside. Even in big cities, people no longer rely on their feelings to walk. Cold reinforced concrete and closed space not only give us a sense of security, but also deprive people of their most primitive trust.

Although I don't want to see it, I am afraid that this kind of "broken off" between relatives will continue to be staged.

I grew up in the countryside and have many relatives at home. My generation is an only child, and my parents have many brothers and sisters in the world.

The father is three brothers and two sisters, and the father is the second child. My mother is a brother, three sisters and a second child. These are just brothers and sisters, and uncle's brothers and sisters, so more.

According to the situation of my own family, I think there are two reasons why relatives in rural areas broke off diplomatic relations.

My grandmother died the year before last and lived to be 9 1 year old. In the past, every holiday, my father and his three brothers would visit my grandmother's house. My uncle was almost 70, and he also visited her. Their family also sends people to visit my grandmother every year.

Such old relatives are actually maintained by my grandmother. Such relatives won't move when my grandmother is away.

My family and my aunt used to have a very good relationship and often walked around. Many years ago, the house in my hometown was demolished and rebuilt. Everyone knows that building a house is a very complicated matter. My parents were too busy, and my aunt came to help every day for about a month.

My parents are also very grateful. From then on, no matter what happens to my elder sister-in-law's family, whether it is harvesting corn, wheat or other work, as long as they say so, my parents will put down their own things to help.

As a result, when I went to my sister-in-law's house two days later, I found my uncle very calm and silent. My dad doesn't talk much and is busy with work.

I have been building that small house, but my uncle has always looked calm and ignored it. My father is still too worried to take it seriously. Visiting relatives during the Spring Festival that year, my dad found that what my uncle sent to my family was different from that of my uncle. Send the same wine, but it's expensive and cheap. I also gave my uncle an extra box of milk and fruit. He secretly gave it to my uncle, and my dad found out.

My father is an honest man, but he still didn't say anything. He just stopped walking after the Chinese New Year.

On the surface, relatives in rural areas are increasingly alienated, and even some relatives are busy with their own affairs, doing business, making money, going out, having no time to take care of them, and don't walk around every year.

But in essence, the "breaking off diplomatic relations" between relatives in rural areas is being staged, which reflects the rapid development of social economy and the drastic changes in family structure from one side and has a profound impact on the "blood relationship" linked by blood relationship.

First, with the rapid development and progress of society, more and more families are moving towards economic independence and doing things independently, losing more dependence on their loved ones who once cared for each other.

Being economically independent and doing things independently means that we don't need more relatives to help each other. Nowadays, children need to take exams for civil servants, and children need to be openly selected for employment. These social civilizations and progress also make it useless to ask relatives to drag their relationship.

Second, the Internet and lifestyle, such as saving time and effort in mobile phone red packets and online New Year greetings, have largely replaced the walking between relatives.

For a new generation of young people in rural areas, a fashionable online New Year greeting, online lucky money, online video greetings, and many relatives who used to have to go back and forth are easily replaced with a flick of a finger. How can there be fewer and fewer human contacts between relatives?

Third, the family planning policy that has been implemented for decades has also had a profound impact on the changes in rural family structure.

With the relative decrease in the number of siblings and younger brothers of the only child (husband and wife), it is an indisputable fact that the huge kinship system formed over thousands of years has begun to disintegrate in great strides.

The objective reduction in the number of relatives, combined with economic independence, lifestyle independence and the superposition effect of comprehensive factors, is an important reason for the phenomenon of "breaking off diplomatic relations" in rural areas.

Don't you think so?

I'm a post-70 s generation, and I'll also talk about the current situation of my relatives. I learned from my dad that grandpa had five brothers, but because of the social and family factors at that time, only grandpa two got married with my grandpa, grandpa one and grandpa five died young, grandpa four became a monk and was buried in the jar when he died.

My grandfather gave birth to three daughters and two sons, followed by my aunt, uncle, second aunt, little aunt and my father. There is also a special relationship here, because my aunt died in childbirth when she gave birth to my cousin. It happened that my uncle and aunt divorced, and my grandfather made a decision to marry this aunt to my uncle.

My father and my uncle are both 2 1 year-old, which means my uncle was married before my father was born. So, my cousin and my father were born in the same year. It is said that uncles and nephews of the same age are brothers. My father and my cousin are really brothers. They went to work and drank together, but in 200 1 year, my 57-year-old cousin left us because of a car accident.

Because the sixties and seventies were baby boomers, our big family was no exception: three sons and two daughters in my uncle's family, one daughter in my aunt's family, two sons and one daughter in my aunt's family, three sons and one daughter in my family. At that time, the population of China really grew by leaps and bounds. Based on this, I often tell my peers that when our generation is old, the population of China will be older by more than half, and when our generation is gone, the population of China will decline.

According to our etiquette, parents' relatives are generally voluntary, but cousins can't recognize them, and cousins generally don't recognize them. But now the society is different. As long as you work at home, friends and colleagues who have known each other for a few days will have personal feelings, not to mention classmates and friends who get together to eat, drink and travel when they are free. Therefore, relatives are no longer relatives in the sense of communication, but more like friends. Play more if you play well, and play less if you don't play well. Many relatives are not deliberately alienated, but because of various reasons of time and space, it is difficult to see it, but if they really see it, they will still be happy.

Speaking of indifference now, it is mostly because of the pace of life. As an ordinary family, they will face the problems of earning money at work and going home to educate their children. Some of them don't even care about their parents, let alone their relatives.

Take our family as an example. Four brothers and sisters, and six children below. At present, study, work and work are not in one place. It would be nice to see the children in a month. Generally, they only get together during the Spring Festival. But I still believe that no matter how far apart they are, they will never lose touch, because we are really a family, a family that loves each other. Just like the four of us, there is no unnecessary ceremony, but one look can tell what the other person wants.

So my conclusion is that both friendship and affection need to be managed. You have me in your heart, and I naturally have you in my heart, no matter when and where.

In rural areas, there is a custom of breaking off relatives in the New Year. Every year, relatives don't move. Why?

This problem should not be attributed to the rise of the custom of breaking off relatives during the Spring Festival, but to today's rural areas. Because of the busy farming (no weekends), or going out to work, there is not much time to walk around each other, and the principal is not at home when walking, people now choose not to be busy with farming during the Spring Festival, and working people often go home and have a certain holiday to let relatives and relatives walk around, say hello and bless each other.

Why is it so easy to break this originally established blood relationship now?

1, due to the change of residence, some live in rural areas and some live in cities, and the transportation is inconvenient (especially during the Spring Festival). Some go out to work, and the rework date is mostly before the sixth day. After several nearby families moved around, there was no time to move to a distant home. Relatives who are not very close, most of them use modern newsletter to say hello, so after a few years, they may have lost contact.

2. A few years later, the two rich and poor families were estranged, psychologically unwilling to accept each other, or had a clear and dark conflict in some interests. Although they usually meet, as long as one of them doesn't want to communicate after the Spring Festival, there will be few opportunities to meet slowly, which will cut off the possibility of communication, or it will be difficult for contradictory relatives to continue to communicate, and even affect the communication of the next generation.

Whatever the reason, because each other's life is a dynamic existence, and now the whole society is running at a high speed, more than the previous generation, the second generation and the third generation. It may come faster, and it's not just the Spring Festival that cuts off relatives. There are raindrops on the rotating umbrella. I don't know when they will fall or be thrown away by the rotating force.

Probably all because of economic problems. Tell me about what happened in my family. At the end of the year before last, my grandfather got esophageal cancer. Because he was too old to have surgery, he was discharged from the hospital for one month. He is in good health. At that time, my mother and sisters each took 3,000 yuan (I didn't take it because I thought Fourth Aunt and Uncle had a good relationship). When my mother gave money, my uncle asked my mother not to tell grandpa and uncle that several girls wanted to take money. My mother didn't know why, but she got it from grandpa later.

How much did it cost from going to the hospital to leaving the hospital? Only my uncle and my fourth aunt know, but others don't know, but what is certain is that all the money was transferred by my second uncle, so that is to say, my mother and sisters' 9000 yuan was misappropriated by my uncle and my fourth aunt, and the medical insurance reimbursement after discharge was also misappropriated. It is not known whether my second uncle asked for more money.

Although the money is not much, it is bad in nature. My uncle embezzled my grandfather's money for medical treatment and never mentioned it, because I was afraid that my grandfather and my second uncle would be angry. My mother said it's not worth it to make my grandfather angry with thousands of dollars.

Do you think it is necessary for such relatives to walk around?

Runyou believes that the phenomenon of "breaking off diplomatic relations" between relatives in rural areas is somewhat exaggerated, but it is an indisputable fact that relatives are constantly alienated and moving less and less. So, why is this happening? Runyou thinks it is mainly caused by five reasons:

First, the distance is far away, which affects the walking between relatives. For example, in the past, relatives generally lived in a village or a township, and few of them were more than forty or fifty kilometers. Therefore, although the traffic was not convenient and there were few cars at that time, they often walked around each other several times a year because of their proximity. Today, things are different. Most relatives have gone out to work, some in the south and some in the north, with a distance of thousands or even thousands of kilometers. Even if you go home for the New Year during the year, it is difficult for relatives to walk around each other because of time.

Second, the gap between the rich and the poor has widened, which has affected the walking and communication between relatives. Over the years, many young people in rural areas have gone out to work and start businesses, earning money by their own skills, and many have also made a lot of money. Of course, quite a few people just do some hard work all the year round to earn some living expenses. In this case, there is inequality between relatives, which leads to mutual psychological influence: rich relatives look down on poor relatives, and poor relatives feel inferior when they see rich relatives. So over time, there is less and less communication between relatives.

Third, in the information age, the Internet has developed, replacing the interaction between relatives. For example, there used to be few telephones, let alone mobile phones. What happens between relatives is often communicated and solved by meeting. However, now that information is developed, everything can be solved through cell phone calls or videos. In this way, it will inevitably reduce the interaction between relatives.

Fourth, people nowadays pay more attention to interests and money, which affects the walking between relatives. For example, when visiting relatives in the past, you can visit relatives by spending 8 yuan 10 to buy some fruit snacks. Now I have to visit my relatives. Without hundreds or even thousands of dollars, it is difficult to go to relatives' homes. In this case, many relatives can only "flinch" and walk around.

Fifth, many couples do not recognize each other as relatives, which also affects the flow between relatives. For example, in our unit, many young couples don't say that their relatives are not harmonious, and even often have conflicts with each other's parents, and rarely visit each other's parents' homes. Therefore, it is also a phenomenon that relatives between husband and wife leave less for various reasons.

This is a somewhat heavy topic, and the loss of family ties is becoming increasingly obvious in both rural and urban areas. Take myself as an example, I have a deep understanding. My grandfather had three brothers and two sisters, but my grandfather died young, leaving two brothers and sisters, my aunt and my father (my father was only two years old). My grandfather has only one son, and my little grandfather has no children. So we are very close to my uncle's family, just like our own brothers. My grandmother remarried and gave birth to a son, our uncle. She adopted an adopted son with her, and we are very close. But in our generation, grandfathers' grandchildren all live in the city, so it's hard to meet them at ordinary times unless they walk around when they go home. We are four brothers and sisters, so we are very close. Moreover, my grandparents died before my mother got married, and two sisters and one brother lived alone. My uncle went to work thousands of miles away and got married in the local area when he was over six years old. In addition to visiting my two sisters at home during the Spring Festival, there is only correspondence. Later, my mother died young, and my menstruation went less. By the time my uncle died of menstruation, ten cousins had almost broken off diplomatic relations. In my hand, my son has eight cousins, and now my grandfather is still here, so we can get together during the New Year and have little contact at ordinary times. With grandpa gone, we will be old and live less. I'm afraid there will be sorrow and sorrow between our cousins, let alone the next generation.

Family, slowly slipping through our fingers.

No matter in rural or urban areas, the breakup of relatives will be staged every year.

There is a skeleton in the cupboard. Everyone cleans the snow in front of the door, but no one cares if others are frosty. Old relatives are old and weak, unwilling to associate; Young and middle-aged relatives are busy with work, study, training, working, making money, buying a house, buying a car, getting married, doing housework, socializing, supporting the elderly and raising children, and have little time to communicate with each other; Children and juvenile relatives are busy with classes and remedial classes, which are not only short of time, but also without the guidance of their elders, let alone interacting with each other. Even some relatives, because of various contradictions, misunderstandings and injuries, have bad feelings, and the gap has deepened. In desperation, they have spent it, and slowly the two sides naturally broke off diplomatic relations.

Some rich and powerful relatives are arrogant and look down on relatives who have no money or power; Some relatives who have no money or power are too proud to curry favor with rich and powerful relatives; Some rich and powerful relatives are very arrogant; Some relatives who have no money or power care about themselves. Some relatives, the voices of chickens and dogs hear each other, and die of old age.

It is common for relatives to break off diplomatic relations, that's all.