How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually. What do you mean?

How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually.

1. The most awesome international comment recently-North Korea: the orphan who caused the accident; South Korea: Let the bullets fly; United States: the legendary swordsman; China: If You Are the One +2

2. In Let Bullets Fly, Uncle Ge told Uncle Jiang that there are two things I haven't told you. In fact, ya took the orphan Zhao and you are the one behind Jiang Wen's back! ! ! ! ! !

3. Christmas, the sentence with the highest sugar content: My name is Christmas, will you give me happiness?

Nowadays, women let bullets fly at night if you are the one during the day, so there are a lot of orphans causing trouble.

Apple is Jay Chou, hated but really talented. Blackberry is Eason Chan. It goes its own way. Nokia is Andy Lau, with no obvious shortcomings, and has been working hard. Motorola is Huang Qiusheng, with classic movies, but always bad movies. Samsung is Wu Zhenyu, and its products are a bit evil. Siemens is a legend in Leslie Cheung, but it is over. HTC is Aaron Kwok, always trying to prove itself, but it's the same every time.

6. How can leftover women get married without scum? No one can be a mother casually!

Love everything about a person, including his cotton trousers!

8. Following the release of "Let Bullets Fly", the new film "Let Oil Prices Fly" of the National Development and Reform Commission will be released nationwide today, with an estimated box office income of over 100 million yuan. Not to be outdone, the Ministry of Land and Resources will broadcast a new film "Let Land Prices Fly" at the end of the year. Coincidentally, the Ministry of Housing and Urban-Rural Development is also preparing to jointly plot to shoot the blockbuster "Let House Prices Fly". ......

9. Gong Yu's family has two sons, and there are two mountains at the door. The mountain seriously hindered the development of economic transportation, so Gong Yu moved the mountain with his bare hands. The expert tried to prove that Gong Yu was a fool. The foolish old man said in awe, I am dead, and there are my two sons, my son is dead, and there are grandchildren, and there are endless grandchildren. I'm afraid I can't move this mountain! Hequ smiled and said, I'm sorry for your kindness. I don't know if your two sons are gay.

10, Emperor: Sister Rong, why do you embarrass Swallow and Ziwei! What's your motive, you humble slave? Sister Rong knelt on the ground and said with tears in her eyes, Your Majesty, you only remember Sister Xia Rong who was boating by Daming Lake. Do you remember?

1 1. The furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

12, a child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: I had nothing like you when I was a child. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child said thoughtfully, sir, I seem to understand. Mr. millionaire said, you know your sister. Later, when my father died, I inherited all his inheritance.

13, translated into Chinese at will, just one word: coward.

14, everyone who doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart. . .

15, the National Development and Reform Commission finally surpassed the Bureau of Statistics, saying that the per capita green space in Beijing is twice that in Paris. Mopper replied, "Are you a happy farm?"

16, a classmate recited the words in the fourth grade, and finally fell ill and was hospitalized. A friend came to visit the ward. At the bedside, his friend took his hand and said, "Are you all right? What did the doctor say? " "Doctor."

17, I 17 years old, he 17 years old, you 17 years old ... You followed General Kaede Matsushima and became the captain of the pistol team.

18 What animal is the fiercest in nature? ... answer: "zebra!" . . . Why? Because zebra's English name is Z-Bra! ! ! !

19, Mopper concluded that "God is a girl" is American "There is a girl named Xiao Fang in the village" and "Bring me to your heart" is Danish "Two Butterflies" is British "That Night", "Yesterday" is British "The Same Song" and "Hey Jude" is British "Wei".

20. What does the letter of the cup mean: A cup-airport: airport, B cup-barely: almost none, C cup-can do: not bad, D cup -damngood: it's perfect, E cup-ecstasy, F cup-fake, right? G Cup-God: God …

2 1, excellent female secretary: "Good morning, boss!" Best female secretary: "Good morning, boss!" "

22, the student ID card admission ticket ID card did not bring the next link: the listening question reading question composition question did not answer! Horizontal approval: Focus on participation!

23. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your own thoughts into other people's heads, and the other is to put other people's money into your own pockets. The former successfully called the teacher, and the latter successfully called the boss; Both are successful. You can call them wives, universities or churches.

There are two principals in our middle school, one is the principal and the other is the vice principal. But the tragedy happened: the principal's surname was Fu and Fu Shujia; The vice principal's surname is Zheng (Zheng doesn't know). What a coincidence! The principal's surname is Fu, but the vice principal's surname is Zheng ... So every time the leader speaks, he will make a joke: Let's ask President Fu to speak, let's ask President Zheng to speak-tangled!

25. "Do you know why children like tadpoles?" I don't know. "Because they are all tadpoles!"

26. Shanglian: House prices have gone up, land prices have gone up, oil prices have gone up, electricity prices have gone up, water prices have gone up, food prices have gone up, meat prices have gone up, eggs have gone up, vegetable prices have gone up, drug prices have gone up, this has gone up, that has gone up, how can it go up? Go up and go up. The second part: it is difficult to go to school, join the army, find a job, buy a house, rent a house, choose a spouse, get married, have children, seek medical care and provide for the aged, which is different between men and women. It's hard to see the world clearly. It is even more difficult. Hengpi: Living in China.

27. God is fair to everyone. If you give one thing, you will get another. We always see what he took, but we can't see what he gave us.

28. 10 to 12 women who don't sleep are shameless; If you don't go to bed until 4 am, you will die soon. Do you often live a shameless and desperate life?

29. "Let the Bullets Fly" Ren Lei's Quotations: 1 I thought we should drink the wine bit by bit, and the road should be taken step by step. If you take too big a step, the egg will pull. 2, you don't want beauty, you don't want money, what do you want? Are you going to kill me or sleep with me? There is no road in the world. With legs, there is a road. 5. If you live, you will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever. 6. She is a widow, and I can't let her be a widow.

30. Maopu Netizen: In 2008, a childhood friend died in a car accident. His QQ avatar has always been black, and his signature will never change: "I am a special person and only love me. I just want to throw a cloud at my heart. " I feel sad every time I see it. In our generation, the network id is a tombstone, and every signature may be our epitaph. . .

3 1, there is a crash called password input error, there is a crash called account login in different places ... there is a feeling called invisibility! There is a misunderstanding called man-machine offline. One loss is that you have no authority. . .

32. If I plan to have two children before the age of 30, and the difference between the two children is three years, then I will have the first child at the age of 27, get pregnant at the age of 26, and get married at the age of 24. If I want to be pregnant alone for two years. If I want to get engaged, I will spend a year meeting my parents, traveling and preparing for the wedding, and then I must get engaged at the age of 23. I have to take it for two years before I get engaged, so 265438+. .

33. The meaning of good night: Wan 'an! Unpacking the Chinese pinyin of this word is: I love you, love you! Good night Pinyin Wan 'an, besides, each letter represents a word, that is, I love you, love you-I love you, love you!

34. Teacher: What's the difference between a condom and a parachute? Boy: A top guard and a bottom guard. Teacher: 60 points. Girl: One person is missing when the parachute is broken, and one person is missing when the condom is broken. Teacher: 100

35, I don't want much, a glass of water, a piece of bread, a sentence I love you; If you are extravagant, I hope: you pour your own water and cut your own bread, and you tell me that I love you. ...

36. The connotation of Geili micro-novel Monday: me, bed, her. Tuesday: her, bed, him. Wednesday: I, sleep. Thursday: Me, sleeping. Friday: me, bed, her, him. Saturday: I, bed, she, he, fly. Sunday: Me, the police.

37. When you do it right, no one will remember. When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong. . .

38, they mainly do this! Xinjiang people sell mutton kebabs, Gansu people sell Lamian Noodles, Ningxia people sell Lycium barbarum, Tibetans sell Cordyceps, Yunnan people sell flowers, Shandong people sell green onions, Shanxi people sell coal, Northeast people sell rice, Fujian people sell tea, Guangxi people sell rice noodles, Anhui people collect waste products, Henan people work as coolies, Sichuan people sell snacks, Hunan people drive taxis, Hubei people open restaurants, Zhejiang people pack shopping malls, and Beijing people sell approvals.

39. The difference between a daughter and a wife A woman had no choice but to marry a creditor because her father owed money. On the first night of the wedding, the woman said to the smug groom, I married you because my father owes you money. Don't be too proud! The next day, the woman opened her eyes, shook her sleeping groom and said, how much does my father owe us? You can't just let it go.

40. China rich-poor standard line, are you poor? The following are the annual income: 1 super rich: more than 50 million yuan; 2 richest man:1000-50 million yuan; 3 rich: 3 million-10 million yuan; ④ The rich:1-3 million yuan; ⑤ High yield: 300- 1 10,000 yuan; ⑥ Middle income:15-300,000 yuan; 8 Low yield: 8- 1.5 million; Pet-name ruby difference of 30-80000 yuan; Attending is very poor 1-30000 yuan; ⑪ Very poor: 5000- 1000 yuan. Are you poor?