If one day, someone like him appears beside you. ...

"If one day, there is an identical person with him around you, is it really him? Or is God smiling maliciously again? "

( 1)

Outside the window, the warm wind blew the vast wheat field full of charming green, and the yellow wicker hung lazily and casually in the breeze. The branches of tall and towering tung trees are covered with lavender flowers like tapestries against the blue sky and white clouds, and three or five swallows are busy shuttling up and down the branches. The girl who has been absent-minded for a long time is safe and uneasy. At this point, her eyes were staring at the mouth of the math teacher on the podium, but she couldn't listen to a word. Enron, which has excellent grades on weekdays, is not like this. All this comes from a letter, a love letter, and a confession that Lin found in her early Chinese textbook.

Lin is the sports committee member of his class. He is tall and straight, fair-skinned, neatly dressed, taciturn and of moderate grade. He is different from other boys of the same age in maturity and steadiness. I have never seen him pull the braid of a female classmate, nor have I seen him fight with a boy. He is friendly to all his classmates and the teacher likes him very much. During the break, many students will gather around to listen to him sing pop songs. His voice is very touching. When you laugh, your eyes will narrow into a crack, your mouth will become a standard meniscus, revealing neat white teeth, and the sun will shine in an instant. Modest childe is probably like this!

However, after three years of classmates, the intersection between them is almost zero. Enron has always been a girl with a cold surface and low self-esteem. She never takes the initiative to talk to her classmates. Under the strict family education, she was instilled with the idea of family background, life pressure and changing her fate through exams every day, and gradually changed from a cheerful and lively childhood to a sensitive and cautious girl. I am not confident about my appearance, and I am afraid that improper words and deeds in interpersonal communication will be teased. However, we can't show these inferiority complex. After layers of cover-up, we are presented with an image of a girl who is aloof, indifferent and keeps people away.

Sixteen-year-old Enron, chubby and extremely self-abased, envies those beautiful, fashionable and cheerful girls and silently pays attention to the tall, handsome and excellent boys on campus. Every time I pass the stadium, I want to join the women's team to cheer for the boys, but I can't afford the courage after all. I never thought that I would get the love of a boy my age and receive such a love letter. At this time, I thought that he might be secretly paying attention to himself every day, and suddenly I blushed. I want to turn to look at him, but I'm in class at the moment. Even if I look back, my intention is too obvious. I'm embarrassed to be seen by him. It was finally time for class, and finally I secretly looked back at him. He seems to be bending his head to tidy up his desk, but fortunately he was not found.

(2)

Ignorant adolescence, lack of family care, seems to want to gain some confidence and comfort through the attention of the opposite sex. Many girls in the class have women's unique high breasts, round buttocks and rosy cheeks. In physical education class, girls often ask for leave because they are "uncomfortable", and the strict female teacher on weekdays also gently agreed. In the summer when wearing thin shirts, the traces of girls' back bras are looming, and they often blush. I can't wear a vest anymore. I made an appointment with my best friend Yan at the weekend and chose a white corset for myself. I think I always interfere with my mother severely and violently, so I chose to keep this love letter cold.

Many days later, when Lin passed Enron's seat intentionally or unintentionally, Enron's heart would bump like a deer. I can feel that it will be a bit unnatural to deliberately cross the forest. Ten minutes before class, I lay on my desk and thought about my heart. Lin suddenly stood by, smiling and asking An Long Er how to do this problem. The smell of a strange boy is so clear, it smells good, a little fresh, and a little My Sweetie. Enron son immediately blushed. After several times, they began to communicate frequently. On rainy days, Lin will give the umbrella to Anlong and go home in the rain. At the sports meeting, Anlong will hand him mineral water in the middle of Lin's 5 km long run.

On the weekend of early summer, a group of classmates met in the mountains to go to a classmate's hometown. I heard that Lin also went. He never goes out to play with his classmates. Enron cheated his family and went to the appointed place early in the morning. A group of young teenagers, laughing and playing, boys specially pick rugged paths to climb along, while girls are more reserved. Lin and Enron walked behind, this is the first time they have such close contact alone.

The empty valley is quiet with birds singing, and the gurgling stream is gentle and gentle. People around you can analyze each other's past growth without any bad feelings, as trivial as the stars in summer and the warm sun in winter. This moment seems to have happened before. In dreams, in previous lives.

The classmate's home is halfway up the mountain. After dinner, the forest belt safely went to see a bamboo sea on a hillside. In the afternoon, in the bamboo sea, the slight wind blows countless rays of light and ripples, and slowly plays a wonderful summer song. The outline of the forest on the side is as clear as an ancient Greek sculpture. At this time, the whole forest is shrouded in a sacred aura. Enron son thought, how long can this white boy with a clean and warm smile stay with him? My whole life, forever. How far is it forever.

? In the sunset, Lin and Enron walked slowly at the end and left the team again. Two white teenagers climbed a high hill, stepped on the grass and looked at the rolling mountains, thinking about the outside world. The breeze is slow, and the world is quiet as if only the wind in the ear is blowing with Enron's white skirt and black hair. Lin sang a song gently, with a magnetic voice, white clothes and blue trousers, dark hair, clear eyebrows, deep eyes, high nose and curled eyelashes, and deep feelings. Many years later, this scene appeared repeatedly in Enron's dream. There are white gauze in the lyrics, gathering, the world of mortals, parting. ...

(3)

The first snow in winter scatters on the earth like a fairy. A thin layer of Qing Xue fell on the top of the school wall, and they held hands and kissed for the first time. Enron son once again ran back to Lin's thin but warm arms. Silly girl, it's time to go home, or you'll be scolded again Every time I ask Lin to remind me repeatedly, Enron is reluctant to go home. After lying down, I have been dreaming about the forest and the future. I dreamed that Lin climbed a steep cliff, picked a white and fragrant lily and put it in front of her window. I dreamed that they were walking, their fingers hooked on the train tracks full of flowers spreading far away, and the melodious whistle sounded from far to near.

Enron's grades plummeted, and the teacher saw the clue. He visited Enron's home many times and had in-depth conversations with his parents. At home, Enron's discipline is more stringent. My mother will go to the school gate ten minutes late when she comes home from school. The diary was read by my mother, questioned and completely lost my freedom. Lin is also alienating her intentionally or unintentionally. Don't talk to her in class, and don't accompany her to the favorite tea shop on the corner.

Lin was arranged by his family to drop out of school and join the army in the second semester of high school. On the day when Lin left this town, it was snowing all over the sky, and many students went to see him off. After such separation for at least three years, it is difficult for students to have sincere friendship after leaving school. Enron son hesitated, Lin hasn't spoken to him for a long time. Stubborn, sensitive and self-abased, Enron never went to the station to bid farewell to the forest. Later, I heard from Swallow that Lin's best friend told her that the main reason for Lin's dropping out of school was Enron, so that she could prepare for the college entrance examination with peace of mind. After listening to it safely, I felt sad and burst into tears.

Soon after, Enron received an unsigned courier, which opened a thick stack of math review materials, and the address was where Lin Jun was. Enron's heart is as warm and sweet as ever.

(4)

Enron finally lived up to the expectations of parents and teachers, and went to a third-rate university after the college entrance examination. Frustrated and safe, introversion has become morbid. I hardly associate with other students except my classmates in the dormitory. Weekend dances and various club activities have nothing to do with her.

When there is no class in the afternoon, she often walks alone in a street near the school. An extremely secular long street, it seems that all the small vendors and vendors in the world are represented here. Dirty hotel exterior walls, white curtains covered with thick dust. In the steamed bread shop, layers of big steamers are steaming white, and the old man in the village is carrying a layer of frosted sweet persimmon with a pole. The air is filled with the smell of pepper, aniseed and pepper. I look forward to this stable secular life. I often fantasize about the dream face in this crowd. Live a life of red dust and fireworks with the dream person, all my life, until forever.

Where is Lin? Is he okay? A person often thinks of him unconsciously. In autumn, I received a letter from Lin. Tell me something interesting about their training in the army, how they feel homesick and cry when they leave home for the first time, and what it's like to miss someone. ...

It will soon be the first winter vacation in college, and my family is almost isolated from the world every day. One afternoon, on a warm winter afternoon, Enron, who was about to fall asleep, was suddenly awakened by a rush of telephone ringing. Hey, that's a familiar magnetic voice on the other end of the phone. I came back from visiting relatives. I stay at home and go out for a walk at night. Enron's heart is pounding and it's coming out.

After graduating from college, Enron was much more free. After dressing up, meet at the appointed place. It's still him, stronger and calmer than before, unable to restrain his pounding heart, nervous and flustered. On the way home, we held each other's hands again, and the warmth of the palms, like memories, still passed through the sweet feeling of the body like electricity, and we couldn't help it.

Go home early, silly girl. Lin safely walked to the intersection near her home, and suddenly, while Enron was not paying attention, she quickly kissed her on the forehead. Stamp your feet safely and pretend to be angry, but your heart is too sweet to melt away. Time always flies with the forest. Imagine that there is a space-time function that locks them quietly in the space at this moment. With Lin, Enron seems not to be Enron, but it seems to be a real Enron. Trust a person very much, and you will be as naive and soft as a newborn. Reluctant to go home, took a few steps and suddenly turned back and went straight to Lin's arms. A ray of light shot into the sky, and in the same place, snowflakes came unexpectedly like that winter night two years ago. ...

? (5)

After leaving the army, Lin went to work in the provincial capital. After graduation, Enron successfully entered a public institution in his hometown county through family arrangement. The family has been carrot and stick, and has repeatedly asked Enron not to associate with Lin again. Girls in small places have formal jobs in the state establishment, and it is not up to them to choose the target. Anonymous is 800 degrees nearsighted, ugly, arrogant and poor. Nobody took care of her when she didn't get into the editor's office. Later, after she was admitted to the establishment, the threshold at home was almost broken by the matchmaker. After several screenings, she finally married a handsome man with a good job and a rich family. Similar examples are repeatedly instilled by family members every day.

Enron was silent, thinking, is that marriage interesting? What is marriage? Enron would never want that kind of marriage. The world is rich and stable, but as cold and lonely as an empty shell. It's sad to live like that. I just think so in my heart, but I have never quarreled with my family. Twenty-three-year-old Enron is still a timid and cowardly girl without much life experience. She doesn't have the courage to give up a comfortable job, to take responsibility for love, and to arrange her own destiny independently. I am more afraid that pure love will become vulnerable after facing reality.

Mother Lin is seriously ill and hopes to see her son get married early. Lin proposed to find someone to propose to Enron's family, and said. He performed well and worked hard to make money, which made Enron's parents accept him slowly. Enron was scared at once and subconsciously refused. Lin felt dejected.

Soon after, Enron began to meet strangers under the arrangement of his family. No man has Lin's clean and warm smile, fresh and charming body fragrance, which makes him feel insecure and even bored out of thin air. But they have good families and jobs.

Like a puppet, Enron's life is manipulated but indifferent.

Lin finally got fed up and left, cutting off all contact with Enron. Twenty-three-year-old Enron, after the forest disappeared completely, suffered from anorexia and insomnia and lost weight rapidly, and became an old woman overnight. Without the security of the forest, there is no more excitement before.

(6)

Ten years later, we haven't heard from each other, as if that person had disappeared from this world. Every time I go back to my hometown, Enron will walk on the field roads, long river banks and cold arch bridges that have left countless memories, chasing the people in my dreams and looking forward to the smiling eyes and the man with a clean and warm smile in my memory. In the past ten years, I have completed my marriage, birth and divorce with a stranger in my own world. At the age of thirty-five, Enron, who worked alone outside, completely faded the baby's fat eyes, became wrinkled, slim and elegant, and showed a kind of indifference that refused people thousands of miles away. Love is not the only thing in people's lives. There are many other people and things to trust.

Always dreaming of the forest, dreaming of looking for him everywhere and calling him. Snow in winter, deep water in summer, high mountains and long rails. Sometimes the trees are lush and hot, and sometimes the hills stand tall and climb hard. Hungry and cold, wading through mountains and rivers, extremely anxious, but always just passed by, never clearly approached him and touched him in a dream. He is far away. As if not in this world. Know where he is.

After a long time, I recognized each other in the crowd for the first time. Lin is no longer young, but his body is much stronger than when he was young. The traces left by manual labor all the year round look like an ordinary middle-aged person. Greet each other. My heart is still warm. Looking into each other's eyes, there are pure feelings, warmth, sweetness and helplessness.

An Ran, 35, cares about each other everywhere, warms each other, and almost forgets what coquetry is. With Lin, she blushes like a spoiled child. Quietly listening to Lin's heartbeat is still the most important one in each other's hearts. However, ten years have made their world farther away. She has the life she wants, and he can't give it to her. He just wants a wife to accompany him, but she is not used to being someone else's wife. She prefers the wide world outside. They already belong to two worlds. More uncomfortable than ten years ago.

Love each other, kill each other, quarrel countless times, stab each other's hearts with the most heartfelt words, then make up, and suffer over and over again. They can't integrate into each other's lives, even if they love each other deeply, what can they do? Adult love divorced from reality is like a joke.

Love is mutual satisfaction. If you love someone who likes freedom, let her fly. If you can't give each other the stability they want, let go decisively. Moral kidnapping cannot be carried out in the name of love. The bond of marriage is the spiritual growth of two people. Their spirits are no longer together, and it is hard to imagine how to form a marriage.

Thirteen years after their last breakup, they broke up again. Somewhere in my heart seems to be suddenly evacuated, but I can always face it calmly. No longer running away from each other, they are still the most important people in each other's lives. That thread will always be in each other's hearts, and this life will be in their hearts. It's more like a relationship between relatives.

The first snow in winter came in a hurry, and soon accumulated a thick layer, which is another white and flawless world. Enron gently drew a heart in the snow, and wrote Lin and Enron on both sides.

The snow is still falling, and now it is forever.