Famous sketch actor Xiao Shenyang's

People are afraid of famous pigs and strong, men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

If being rich is also a mistake, I'd rather repeat it.

Love is like two people pulling a rubber band, and the injured one is always unwilling to let go!

If the heart has no place to live, it will wander everywhere!

Work, take a step back and broaden the horizon; Love, take a step back and broaden the horizon.

We are a little different: she wants me to turn dirt into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dirt.

Mom said that it is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and the person who loves you deeply.

After seeing me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

When I was a child, I didn't read. My mother said, "When I grow up, I will let you marry a bachelor who sells pork." Now educate my daughter: "study hard and grow up to marry a bachelor who sells pork."

Cherish life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan.

Don't say that women are too realistic if men don't have skills, and don't say that men are too playboy if women don't have strength.

Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except chewing gum.

I must be reborn as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me.

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

There are many people jumping off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art.

My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

People always make mistakes, otherwise the right way will be crowded.

Occasionally, living silently will feel great, and living silently will feel miserable.

You can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man is eaten in one bite!

I am also the seed of infatuation, and I drowned in the rain.

Money is not everything, and sometimes you need a credit card.

A woman who knows little about men eventually becomes a man's wife, and a woman who knows everything about men eventually becomes an old woman.

God has given us acne while giving us youth.

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try it several times in the surrounding trees.

Everyone has at least one dream and a strong reason.

Mature people don't ask the past, smart people don't ask the present, and open-minded people don't ask the future.

I hope one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "ctrl c" and keep "ctrl v".

The classic quotations of Zhao, a famous sketch actor in China.

Zhao (1928 March 200011-July 17) is a famous sketch actor and performance artist in China. People from Baodi District, Tianjin. She first appeared on the stage of the Spring Festival party and performed a sketch at 1988 (60 years old). She is the founder of musical sketches. He was also the first generation sketch king before Zhao Benshan. It has the reputation of the sketch queen. 199 1 won the Best Actress in Tokyo International Film Festival and the China Film Government Award for her mother role in "Chinese New Year". 1992 won the Hundred Flowers Award Best Actress Award and the 4th China Film Performing Arts Society Award.

Zhao's classic quotations:

People are not as good as heaven, flowers are not as good as heaven, and people who eat whole grains are not sick. I am an ordinary person. I want to come and go in the ordinary way.

Say 1000 words, say 10000 words, not as good as a big ancestor said, not as good as jiaozi, not as good as standing backwards.

One appetizer, two tonics, three cups and five cups are taken off, so as to ensure that your little face is red in white, green in red, purple in blue and black in powder.

I'll practice your grandmother. Turn your mouth! If I graduate from your school, I will be a kidnapper!

How about this yellow one? I know the yellow one. This is the palace carrot. Hehehehehe, it's still a group of heroes. I think it's just a radish meeting.

Bhutto sells cloth, socks and shoes, and I am a rice plate.

Cixi is the Empress Dowager who eats more than 200 dishes at a time. No way! No way! No way! I am a poor peasant of eight generations, and her composition is too high. I won't install this.

This package is so uncomfortable that I can't open my mouth and keep up! Do you feel sick? Do you feel sick?

In the past year, we haven't seen meat for a year. That year, we stewed a pot of ribs. Look at you eating it and chewing all the bones. It makes our old yellow dog bark at you.

Tango is just walking. Chest out and abdomen in, legs up, snapping, tango means walking, three steps, two, two turns, five steps, and then you walk. It's called tango.

You also play two deep games, and you also play two advanced games. Is this called the devil in the village? If I don't give you a performance today, you won't know what a high level is and what a new life is.

Do you think we old people can find wives with good food and clothes? No, no, we have a higher spiritual pursuit. This is called rejuvenation, old trees sprout new buds, and the golden sunset is brilliant!

Don't be too intimate. Now some people, no matter how old you are, say that you are dating someone as long as they see men and women together. Actually, it's the one who thinks about people. He doesn't think well.

Do you blame that child for his brains? If he uses a little, he will use less.

I'm telling you, what about you? Do you know that we have a sea lamp? Hayden, that's my brother and I'm his sister. I tell you, I am not an ordinary old lady. I am a kung fu person, so I'd better work hard for you. Do you see it? Do you see it? You know this leg. It's called Haizhai. I'll take you to Shanghai with this foot.

Quotations from Xiao Shenyang

1, do you like me to buy it for you ... (after realizing each other's anger) Oh, no, it's "brother, I'll buy it for you!"

2. Oh, I said you don't run when others run, right? You despise me, don't you? I said you just come.

I wandered around the mall and asked a waiter casually, how much is this dress? She said, Yuan. I said, do you sell RMB? She said yes, and then asked me to pay. I said, I don't want to buy it. I'm just browsing.

4. The theme song of the famous American rock TV series "Water Margin" and the title song "Dao Lang's Lover" of "Flower Escort" are dedicated to everyone.

5. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

6. Give you a colorful moonlight fart.

7. I wandered on the ground and no one told me to turn back.

8. If you ask me who I am, my nickname is Little Gong Li.

9. If you ignore me, I will become a dog!

10, Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

1 1. Watch a duet if you want to be happy, watch football if you want to be unhappy, and watch zg football if you want to die.

12, you still have to develop slowly when you become famous. Look at this dress I'm wearing. What? Don't look down on people. All my clothes are bought from a specialty store, a shroud store.

13, the weather is good today, windy and rainy.

14, you are blind, I am a cotton condom.

15, I am not only lucky, but also athlete's foot!

16, I've dropped a lot.

17, what are you doing?

18. Good evening, everyone.

19, don't think I am out of reach just because I am handsome. Actually, I am a sea of rivers.

To tell the truth, I don't like it at all.

Don't tell me to bring it on-I have two generations of love!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough.

23. Don't thank me. Thank you and dare to charge you money!

I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't made a beauty plan!

25. The feet of three cobblers stink to death.

26. The sun shines on the earth. Welcome to the theatre.

27. Laozi not only has a car, but also depends on himself!

28. When I came home, you were still chasing me. A day passes when you close your eyes, and a lifetime passes when you close your eyes.

29. I hate it Don't ask single men such questions.

30.am I a man or a woman? I'm also ambivalent.

3 1, Brother Lai? I, Tang Xiao, um, arrived in the girl country, and XX slapped me hard.

32. Come to my class without clapping all the time. Your wrist hurts and my heart hurts.

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

34. "Bah" is shameless.

Don't worry about my girlfriend following me-as long as she lays eggs all her life, we will break them immediately and never let the principal and parents know!

36. Audience friends, they all say that I look like a pervert.

37, give it to me, you don't have to worry, there is nothing wrong!

38. Oh, my God, I really want my little bag. I take it with me every day, so I open it. Hey, sis, guess how much my bag is worth? Can you believe it? After the discount.

39. Judge a book by its cover.

40. Last year, Tomb-Sweeping Day came back to burn paper for grandpa. It was late that day, and I hurried to the intersection. I looked at it. Alas, many people burned paper here, so I went in with the paper in my arms. These people burning paper at the grave watched me run away. This shoe is missing. The most hateful thing is. One sister even muttered, "Alas, Mom, so soon?" I just lit it. Shall I get it? "What do you think I am?

4 1, the mirror will always reflect light!

42. If you push me again, I'll play dead for you!

43. Does handsome have a P? Probably eaten by a pawn!

Relax, I'm not a good person. ...

45. Can you say that you are stealing from a scholar?

46. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?

Classic sentences of Xiao Shenyang

1, I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.

Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good!

3. honesty is more valuable than gold; Broader than the sea is tolerance; Morality is higher than mountains.

People say I am poor-looking, but my mother is very rare. My mother said that when I was a child, she took me to the park to play. Many old people gathered around and asked my mother, "Sister, where did you buy this monkey?" "Now I have grown up!

5. When you have no money, eat wild vegetables at home; If you have money, go to the hotel to eat wild vegetables. ...

I have spent my whole life in tears. You must find a prince riding a white horse in your next life.

7. The sun shines on the earth! Welcome to the theater! If you want to ask me who I am, my nickname is Little Gong Li!

8, my principle is: people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

9. What's the use of being handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!

10, my friends, they all say, at first glance, I can take advantage of it for a long time. Actually, I don't take advantage at all. I don't believe you ... I might as well take a closer look!

1 1. Life is like this: one day you turn a blind eye, and the rest of your life passes in the other eye.

12, take other people's road, leaving others with no way out.

13, above people, treat people as people; Under people, treat yourself as a person.

14, the most painful thing in life is that people die and the money is not spent!

15, I am a person with status. What is a person with status? It's someone with an ID card!

16, you call me ugly, but I tell you, I am old and talented. Why do you think this is?

17, so many people despise me, who are you?

18, the four major sorrows of life: a long drought meets sweet rain, a drop; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When I want to be the first, I dream.

19, on behalf of my bodyguard bin Laden, my secretary Annan, my servant level and my pet Koizumi, I thank my friends for such praise!

20. A person's life is actually very short, and sometimes it is the same as sleeping. When you close your eyes and open them again, the day passes in a howl; when you close your eyes and don't open them, your life passes in a howl.

2 1, although I look abnormal, in fact, I have always been very talented!

22. I want to watch Errenzhuan happily, watch football unpleasantly, and watch China football unpleasantly.

23. My little sister was very happy when she saw me. Oh, big brother, you really look like the sea. Unfortunately, big brother, I get seasick. I feel sick at the sight of the sea!

24. If you push me again, I'll play dead for you!