Ask for a lot of cold jokes, the colder the better,

Answer: "a rooster and a hen, type three words."

B: "............?"

A: "Two chickens."

Answer: "A rooster and a hen type five words."

B: "............?"

A: "It's still two chickens! ! "

Answer: "A rooster and a hen type seven words! ! ! "

B: ".............! ! ! " [/ft]

A: "Idiot! Or two chickens! ! ! "

One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying, crying, crying. ..............................................................................................................................................................

One day, four retired people played mahjong together.

After a few rounds, an old man wanted to go to the bathroom at halftime.

The other three people began to speak. ...

When an old man talks about his son Ming Jun, he can't help but fart:

"Our family's Junming ... is in the jewelry industry.

I don't know what crazy happened not long ago,

I sent a big diamond ring to his friend.

I can't stand him ... "

Another old man also not to be outdone said:

"My founding. ...

As the manager of a car company, I was a while ago.

I don't know what to do, but I sent a Cadillac to his friend!

You said you couldn't lose your family! "

The third old man also spoke:

"My son, Chi Xiong, is an underachiever!

Engaged in real estate, the economy is in recession now,

A while ago, he even gave his house to a friend!

I really don't understand what he's thinking ... "

Three old people farted for a long time, and the fourth old man came back from the toilet.

He said, "What are you talking about? 」

"Talk about son. ...

By the way, how is your son Jiaming recently? "

An old man asked.

I saw the fourth old man took a deep breath ... and said:

"Alas ... my family that abnormal jiaming. ...

Don't mention it, it turned out to be gay, alas. ...

But a while ago, I didn't know how lucky I was. Someone gave him a diamond ring.

Someone gave him another Cadillac and someone gave him a house!

You said strange ... "

The little wolf is a natural vegetarian, and his parents are anxious about it, but there is nothing they can do.

One day, two big wolves were overjoyed when they saw the little wolf chasing a rabbit crazily, and they felt that they were going wild again.

Who knows, the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, "Son of a bitch, give me the carrot!" " "

One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a ride.

The car is running out of gas, and there is a gas station next to it. When driving by, a sudden gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:

"I'll get my hat, you help me to refuel. 」

Not far from her boyfriend, she heard Xiaomei shout behind her:

"come on Come on! 」

One day, Xiaoming saw a big bird in the sky.

He said, wow!

What a big bird ~

Late at night, after correcting the last test paper, Mr. Wang turned on the radio wearily and wanted to listen to music to relax. Dj's voice came from the radio: "All the students in Class X, Grade Three, xx Middle School dedicated this song to their beloved teacher Wang xx, thanking him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year) and precious practice opportunities ..." Hearing this, Mr. Wang's eyes were moist, and his tired face showed a gratified smile. The dj went on to say, "... now let's listen to this song, Li Huimin's" You Will Have No Good Result "..."

Xiaojun wrote: "There are three people in my family, my parents and me. When we go out every morning, the three of us go our separate ways and take different routes at night to achieve the same goal. Dad is an architect, pointing at the construction site every day; My mother is a shop assistant and comes to the store every day. I am a student, and I am in a daze in the classroom every day. There are three people in my family who have the same rotten tastes, and the family lives in harmony. But when my grades are not good, my dad still fights with each other and cruelly beats me to the ground, but my mother stands by and never acts bravely. "

After half a day's homework, I turned on the radio, and a gentle voice came out: "... if the skin color pays off and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means it is healthy ..."

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "Well, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

When we were in high school, some teachers were very bad to our students. A group of students have been oppressed for a long time. They are discussing how to punish their teachers. One day, when the teacher was in class, a boy sitting in the back showed a painful expression and groaned gently with his hand over his stomach. The teacher ignored him and went on preaching. The middle teacher just turned to write notes on the blackboard when the boy suddenly became "concave ... wow ..."! ! ! (Vomiting) A boy at the same table poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge on the boy's table at a very fast speed. When the teacher turned around, he saw that the table was full of yellow and white things. At this time, another boy took out a small spoon, scooped up the things on the table one by one, and said while chewing, "Hey, this guy ate peanuts for lunch." The teacher said, "Wow ... Concave ..." and then stopped.

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said, "I am too young to fart so smelly." It must be a cow. 」

The cow said, "I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly." 」

The pig said, "people who fart will blush." 」

Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away, and said, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing. 」

Once upon a time

Someone looks like a sweet potato and fell down while walking.

There is a man who looks like an airplane. He can fly when he walks.

There is a man who looks like chocolate and is eaten when he walks.

There is a person who looks like a light bulb and lights up when he walks.

There was a man who looked like a telephone, and he was beaten while walking.

There was a man who looked like a telephone number and was pressed while walking.

There was a man who looked like a cigarette and was smoked when he walked.

There was a man who looked like a cucumber and was photographed while walking.

There was a man who looked like a kite and was blown away by the wind when he was walking.

There is a man who looks like cotton candy. When he walked, his legs suddenly felt so soft.

There is a man who looks like a bike. One day, she was standing on the road and was rode away.

A man who looks like a mobile phone was stolen while walking.

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.

There was a man named Cai Xiao who was taken away one day while standing on the road.

There is also a man named Cai Xiao who was dumped and spoiled overnight.

There was a man named Xiaohua who was picked while walking.

There was a man named Coke who was drunk while walking.

There was a man named Cai Xiao who was taken away while walking.

There is a man named Chen Shui. Walking, suddenly someone said to him, "You owe me a beating ~?"

There is a man named Yu. One day he was hungry and ate himself.

An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg.

An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg.

An egg that wanted to make preserved eggs went swimming in Songhua River and accidentally detonated Sinopec Jilin Branch. As a result, it was polluted by benzene and became a stupid (benzene) egg.

An egg ran to Shandong and became a Lu egg.

An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg.

An egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground, becoming a guide (inverted) bomb.

An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb.

An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb.

One of the eggs got sick and turned out to be a bad egg.

An egg swims in the river and becomes a nuclear (river) bomb.

An egg ran into the flowers and became Hua Dan.

There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues.

One egg was ugly and turned into a dinosaur egg.

An egg talks to a fool and becomes a fool.

An egg went to Japan to soak in hot springs and turned into a cannonball.

An egg was put into the wallet and turned into a poached egg.

An egg goes to suicide bombing and becomes a bomb.

An egg swam in the Dead Sea and became a salted egg superman!

One of the eggs rolled and rolled, and turned into a fuck-off.

An egg was pounded in a bowl and turned into a prank.

An egg fell into the toilet and turned into a rotten egg

An egg was caught by a blind man and turned into a nonsense egg.

An egg becomes a preserved egg when it is put on leather.

An egg became bigger, and it turned out to be a duck egg.

An egg was accidentally left in the henhouse by a chicken, and it turned out to be Christmas (leftover eggs).

An egg was accidentally rounded from the ellipse by a chicken, and the result became New Year's Day (egg).

A basket of eggs felt very crowded, so I jumped out of the basket. It turned out to be Satan.

There is an egg in the second place, and it is the second egg.

There is a turtle egg calling itself a golden egg, and there is a doctor egg calling itself a silver egg. Later, I participated in CCTV programs and was scolded by Li Yong.

The goose laid an egg, which is called a goose egg (incorrect).

An egg accidentally ran into the bank vault and turned out to be a safe egg (quail egg).

An egg and a duck egg made a double spring and turned into a double yellow egg.

The last egg in the world has become a precious egg for people ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~.

An egg accidentally ran to the test paper and became a zero egg.

An egg farted and turned into a gas bomb!

An egg was in close contact with the iron pan and turned into a scrambled egg …

An egg was beaten flat and turned into a pole.

An egg put all its capital into the stock market and ended up penniless.

An egg has been drinking Gao Legao and turned into an omelet (high)!

There is a quarrel between an egg and a tomato, that is, between a tomato and an egg. Later, there was a quarrel, and the egg was lost because the meatballs were too flat (Dandan Noodles).

An egg fell to the ground while walking, so it became Fudan.

What exactly is an egg? Chicken or egg first? This is an eternal topic, so people often say: eggs are …

An egg laughed so hard that it forgot the time, and then it turned into an all-nighter.

An egg was carried by a turtle and became an illegitimate child.

Pomegranate in left hand, egg in right hand, knock, grenade (egg).

There was a girl named Sugar-coated, who put eggs in water and turned them into sugar-coated shells.

The date with the egg is called Jordan

There is an egg in the shape of an airport. Her name is Pingping (Egg).

In the dark night, the eggs also become dim.

There is an egg in my mouth called Handan.

A chicken laid an egg called an egg. This egg doesn't like rice. After quarreling with rice several times, it became fried rice with eggs (noisy)

Another chicken laid quail eggs early. ...

An egg climbed the Eiffel Tower and turned into a cake.

There is an egg that tells cold jokes every day and gets cold.

The last egg that loves watering is called water egg, hehe. ...

It is said that a stag ran faster and faster and turned into a highway (male deer) ...

Now this joke is out of date ~ and there are many new answers ~

There was a stag running faster and faster, and as a result, ...

1. turned into Kaohsiung Highway ~ ~

2. It has become a "magnetic levitation highway" or "female (magnetic) deer ~ ~

3. The male deer runs faster and faster, and then it flies ~ and then it becomes a (flying) doe →→→→→→→ doe!

There are three old ladies chatting.

One said, "I have a bad memory recently, and I can't remember whether to put things or take things when I opened the refrigerator door that day ...";

The other said, "I am even worse. I can't remember whether I went downstairs or upstairs on the stairs that day ... ";

The third old lady knocked on the table with her hand and said, "I'm glad I don't have your problem, alas." ...

Huh? Why is someone knocking at the door? "She got up and walked to the door and said," why don't you knock at the door? "

Question: Why can butterflies fly with broken wings?

Answer: Because it is strong.

Question: Why can dragonflies fly with broken wings?

Answer: Because the butterfly told it to be strong.

Fat sister asked the racetrack manager, "Strange, when did a camel come to your racetrack, and it was bimodal?"

Manager: "It's not a camel, it's the horse you rode last time …" "

Lao Wang was invited to visit Lao Li's family …

In Lao Li's family, everyone who meets Lao Li calls his wife "dear".

Seeing this, Lao Wang was very moved and said to Lao Li, "You are not easy! Married fast 10 years, you still call your wife so sweetly ... "

"Actually," Lao Li whispered, "I forgot her name for a long time, saying ..."

Dad told his daughter that she was often hungry when she was a child. After hearing this, the daughter had tears in her eyes and asked sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"

One day after school, a little boy asked his mother, "Mom, where am I from?"

Mother thinks this question is not easy to answer, but she should take this opportunity to educate her children, taking cats and dogs as examples, and seriously talk about the reproductive process.

After listening to this, the son said doubtfully, "How did this happen? My deskmate said that he is from Shanxi! "

Xiaojie, who is under great pressure in the entrance examination, reads books without sleep every day. Moreover, his English subjects are poor, but he must study English harder. One day, Xiaojie's grandfather had a car accident and the hospital called Xiaojie's family. Because Xiaojie was the only one at home, he informed his parents, and then he rushed to the hospital at once. Later, Xiaojie's parents arrived.

Mom saw Xiaojie and asked him anxiously, "What did the doctor say?" The little hero nervously replied, "doctor ...! ! "

The political teacher once said in a lecture, "Let me give you an example." Then he felt wrong and said, "give me an example."

Mom: Pierre, do you want some cookies? Pierre didn't respond. His mother asked, Pierre, do you want a biscuit? Pierre said, Yes, Mom. Mom said: Why should I ask you twice? Pierre: Because I want to eat two tablets.

Xiaoming's grandfather died,

Because there is a public sacrifice, the body is frozen, and then please come out during the public sacrifice.

It happened to be hot at that time,

There were thawed water droplets on the body,

Xiao Ming saw it next to him and shouted nervously:

"Grandma, grandma ... grandpa is sweating ..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh ... Grandpa died for the first time, and he was very nervous!"

Four priests Tang went to travel by plane, and the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, the Tang Priest said, let's answer the question, and jump if we can't answer it.

Tang Priest: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Priest: OK, here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky?

Friar Sand: One.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Bajie on the side is so happy, such a simple question.

Tang Priest: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

....

Bajie jumped down.

Before long, the four of them flew to travel again. They crashed on the way and there were still only three parachutes.

They went on answering questions.

Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Priest: OK. Here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many people died in the Liberation War?

Friar Sand: 2.5 million people.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people?

..... You Zhu is going to jump.

The third time, the four of them traveled by plane again and had an accident on the way.

Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I jump by myself.

Then jump.

Tang Priest put his hands together: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time!

Teacher: To be honest, do you smoke?

Boy a: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

Boy A: Naturally, I held out two fingers and took them. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: no.

Teacher: No? Well, French fries, please.

Boy b: because I heard about a, I carefully took the French fries with my palm.

Teacher: Aren't you going to dip in some ketchup?

Boy B: I accidentally dipped too much, so I immediately bounced it with my finger. ...

Teacher: The posture of playing ash is very skillful. Call your parents ...

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: no.

Teacher: no, ok, I'll have French fries.

Boy C: Because of the first two examples, I carefully sweated for French fries.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

Boy C: I put French fries in my ear. ...

Teacher: No? Call your parents ...

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: no.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

Boy D: I'm afraid to eat my French fries.

Teacher: Aren't you going to take a root home for your classmates?

Boy D: I carefully put the French fries in my upper pocket again.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming!

Boy D quickly took the chip out of his pocket, threw it on the ground and stepped on it with his foot. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy e: no.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

Boy E: I just got French fries. The teacher said, aren't you going to invite me to dinner?

Boy E: Pass the French fries with both hands quickly, and then take out the lighter. ...

Teacher: No? ! Call your parents ...

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy f: no.

Teacher: Good. Have a French fries.

Boy F: I finished eating in fear.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The headmaster is coming!

Boy F: Sweating palms, but still calmly lowering his head and saying: Hello, headmaster!

Teacher: The headmaster will smell your mouth.

Boy F takes out French fries: No, it's still there. The fire hasn't lit yet. ...

[Scene 7]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy G: I swear to God, I will never smoke again.

Teacher: You really don't smoke? Ok, let's have a French fries.

Boy g naturally took the French fries and ate them clean.

Teacher: That's a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like?

Boy G (proudly): Greater China ...

[Scene 8]

Teacher: Have a portion of French fries.

Boy n: no, thanks.