Such jokes make you laugh your ass off!

1. One day, Xiao Ming came to visit his future mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law: Sit anywhere! The food will be ready soon! Then I went into the kitchen and got busy.

At this time, only nervous Xiao Ming and his mother-in-law's dog Xiao Bai were left in the living room.

Suddenly, Xiao Ming found a sharp pain in his stomach. He thought, no! I must hold back!

But he couldn't help it ~ ~ poof ~ ~ He farted invincible.

He thought to himself, this is a dead man ~ ~ and he will be thrown out. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law just shouted: Xiaobai ~ ~!

Xiao Ming thought with relief: fortunately, Xiao Bai was my scapegoat, and then he couldn't help but fart for the second time.

When my mother-in-law was still shouting Xiao Bai ~ ~ farting for the third time,

I saw my mother-in-law rush out and shout, Xiao Bai! You won't run unless it stinks to death, will you?

A middle-aged man went to a local private hotel on business. When eating the night before, the middle-aged man saw several stains on the edge of the dish, which made him uneasy.

He asked the hotel owner, "This dish looks dirty." The boss replied, "Don't worry, mineral water will make it clean." Hearing this answer, middle-aged people began to eat with peace of mind.

A week passed, middle-aged people ate in the hotel every day, and met a big dog in the hotel. When leaving, the middle-aged man stepped out of the gate, and the dog reluctantly caught up with him, clinging to him and not letting him leave.

Seeing this, the hotel owner went up to the dog and patted it on the head. He said softly, "Let the guests go, mineral water."

3. The school bike is lost seriously, and the new car disappears in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bike will appear again every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days!

A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. So I bought ten big locks, locked the car and posted a note to the thief: Let you borrow it! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the locks: Let you ride!

Next semester, the boys will move to the apartment outside. We should put our things in the dormitory first, and then take them when school starts. I left some valuables with my girlfriend and packed two bags. My girlfriend lives on the fourth floor. When she took the first bag, I walked around bored. The housekeeper said kindly, "Go up and let others take it." I said, "That's not good." Menstruation said, "Just don't stay on it for too long." So I went up obediently.

On the fourth floor, my girlfriend was coming out of the dormitory. She saw me nervously dragging me into the dormitory and said, "How did you get in?"? Many people wash in the water room without wearing clothes. " I said, "No way ... look at the corridor and see if there is anyone. If not, I will rush out ... ". As soon as I opened the door, two fruit girls came in and screamed when they saw me. At the same time, their girlfriends said, "Turn around and let them get dressed …". Just after that, a group of fruit girls clamored to come in. "What's your name? Something! " The result was another shrill cry ... Then I covered my eyes and ran out. When passing by the boarding room, my aunt smiled kindly. "Don't wear clothes every day, give them some color to see see, huh!" "