Negative emotions

ANT: Automatically generated negative thoughts.

(Automatic Negative Thought)

CAT: Ability confirmation thinking is the positive confirmation of self.

(Capability-Affirming Thought)

1. Find the corresponding CATs for each ANTs

When self-confidence is threatened, when you have negative feelings about yourself When thinking, learn to immediately find corresponding more positive words.

ANTs:

"This is too difficult, I can't do it"

"Why am I so nervous when I go on stage to give a speech? Sure enough, I can't do it"

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“My colleagues will definitely laugh at me again if my performance is so bad this time.”

“I forgot my husband’s birthday. He will definitely lose his temper with me again and give me a bad look.” "...

CATs:

"It doesn't matter, I can give it a try. If it doesn't work, I will gain experience."

"I can definitely do it. Speech This matter requires accumulation, and I am in the process of accumulation now."

"This performance is a foregone conclusion. The key is to reflect and learn from experience. I usually get along well with my colleagues, and they will not laugh at me."

"I forgot my birthday because I was too busy at work. As long as I apologize to my husband when I go back, there will be no problem."...

Keep a record of negative thoughts at any time and write positive words next to them. words. Whenever you need encouragement, find the corresponding record and read it twice.

2. Think about CATs in various scenarios

In which situation in the future do you hope to become more confident?

What kind of CATs would you say to yourself repeatedly to encourage yourself?

And write it down.

(The advantage of doing this is that you can increase your confidence in advance by predicting the situations you will encounter. At the same time, when you encounter them again in the future, you can directly take out the recorded CATs to encourage yourself.)

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For example:

I hope to become more confident when communicating and socializing with others.

Words of encouragement include:

Speak boldly, and people won’t scold you if you say something wrong.

Come on! Say something and you won’t die.

Just say it casually, even if it’s an awkward conversation, it doesn’t matter, it means you have different interests.

We are all human beings, who is afraid of whom? !

This content has been written in previous articles, and the effect is obvious, so I will briefly talk about it here.

Feeling: Describing feelings. For example: sadness, self-blame, guilt...

Action: Describe the behavior that occurs after the feeling. For example: slamming the table, yelling...

Circumstance: Describe the situation at that time. For example: In the morning at the company, colleagues were chatting; at night at home, the children were very noisy...

Ants: Describe the various thoughts in your mind at that time, especially your evaluation of yourself. For example: Is there something wrong with him? I was such a failure. How could I make such a stupid decision?

Defeat: Find the gap between the evaluation in Ants and the objective facts. For example: Does this matter mean that I really failed? Is this decision really so stupid that there are no details that can be recognized?

Finally, if your friend had such thoughts, what would you say to him, and what constructive and reasonable ideas could be used to replace them?

This is the same as the success log mentioned in "Puppy Money".

"Remembering good things" is to write down three things every day that make you feel happy, joyful, enjoyable, meaningful or accomplished, preferably in different fields, and no matter how big or small the event is.

Use a special notebook to record and look back at your beautiful memories often. For this reason, I bought a diary that can record for 5 years. It can record the good things in the past 5 years. I feel excited just thinking about it.

Specific steps:

In order to overcome negative emotions and evaluations and gain more confidence, we need to constantly summarize, practice, and improve toward a more positive self.