Proverbs, humorous stories, ancient and modern jokes

Proverbs, humorous stories, ancient and modern jokes

Have you seen the humorous little joke about saving lives? If you want to see more funny jokes, please pay attention to me.

You Qian Cun Niu

During the Spring and Autumn Period, a unicorn appeared in western Shandong. The locals didn't understand that this was a mascot, so they surrounded it and killed it.

When Confucius heard about it, he hurried to check it out and wept bitterly. The disciples were afraid that the teacher would be too sad, so they tied it up with copper coins and put it on the cow. They told Confucius that Kirin was still alive and was not hurt at all. Confucius dried his tears and sighed, isn't this also a symbol of good luck? Just a rich village cow!

Homophony saves lives

A noble official invited a banquet. The cook was sent to prison by your officials because the cake he fried was raw. The next day, your official held another banquet. Two people want to save the cook. One person pretends to be a fortune teller, and the other pretends to be an old man. Please count the eight characters and borrow the banquet to tell your fortune.

Fortune teller: When did you start to respect old Geng Jia?

The old man deliberately said loudly: bing zi sheng.

The fortune teller shouted again and again: no.

The old man pretended to be unhappy and asked, it's only been a year and there is no time. How could it be bad?

The fortune teller said,' Jiazi was born yesterday', and you are still in prison. What's more, you were born in Bingzi (homophonic cake)?

The guests all burst out laughing. Your official understood the meaning and released the chef.

Fall into the water

There was an uneducated teacher, and a guest came back from Beijing and visited him in the library.

A student asked the gold inscription with a book, but the teacher didn't know it, but because of face, he forgave the guest for asking again, and also picked up a red pen and marked it beside the gold inscription.

After a while, another classmate came to ask the word Wei. The teacher circled the word Wei with a red pen and made excuses for the same reason. Just after the student left, the third student came to ask the benevolent Leshan, a wise man who enjoyed music in the water. The teacher casually said, read? Fall? Just ...

When the students left, the teacher asked the guests: Is there any news from Beijing? The guest said: Yes! When I left the capital, I saw Jin Wengong being stabbed and Wei Linggong surrounded by a red scarf. The teacher asked quickly, I wonder what happened to the subordinates of these two people. The guest smiled and said, When the mountain fell, it fell into the water.

Fifty-year-old fool

A villager, who is a government official, asked the old-timers about the provisions of the criminal law. The old-timers introduced various punishments such as flogging, walking stick and migration: flogging with a small thorn, from 10 to 50? Hey? ; Hit with a big stick, from 60 to 100? Zhang Dawei was surprised and cried, I don't believe it. Are you still sick at the age of 50?

Informal communication

I once said to Xie: Has anyone written it? Is the color difficult? In short, it's hard to fight. Xie Xueshi immediately replied: Easy.

After waiting for a while, Huang Wen didn't see the following, so he said, since it's easy to say, why is it so late? A: that's what happened just now. Huang Wen just woke up and smiled.

Kitchen God Baiyi

Chen Mengxian doesn't like guests and never stays at home for dinner, so his colleagues made up a joke for him:

On the 24th of the twelfth lunar month, all kitchen gods went to heaven to worship the Jade Emperor. All kitchen gods wear black, only one kitchen god wears white. The jade emperor was surprised and asked, why are you wearing white clothes alone? Kitchen God replied: I am the kitchen god of Chen Mengxian's family. Every kitchen god is smoky every day, and naturally it is dark. I'm at Chen Mengxian's house, and he never invites guests once. How can my clothes be dark?

Cishi oil press

Tongzhou secretariat is a bully and greedy for money.

There is an oil seller named Deng who can play chess. An Zhongba told him to watch the game, but he was not allowed to sit down. Every time he finished, he always asked the oil seller to retreat to the corner and wait for him, saying, you can come up again when I figure out the chess path. It didn't rain for several days, and the oil seller stood for a long time, hungry and tired. The next day he was called to play chess.

A man familiar with Anzhongba's greed for money said to the oil seller, this is waiting for you to give him a gift. He can't play chess. You might as well give a gift and ask for a refund if you stand like this! The oilman did so, and sure enough, An Zhongba stopped asking him to play chess.

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