Why did I give my husband a ruler?

? Last night, we had a holiday party with a good friend's family. We all took our children and a lovely elder. At dinner, we talked about children's education, but I don't know when we talked about hitting children. All three dads are talking happily about the experience of beating their children. I interrupted, "You can hit the child, but don't hit it directly with your hands. You should use tools, sticks or sand sticks. It is best to put a ruler at home. " "That is, you have so many reasons ..." This is Mr. Joke's response.

This ruler comes from Wenchuang, the Forbidden City. I moved away years ago and moved to a new home intact. This is the head of the family who hangs a ruler on the living room wall. I can see that he still likes it. When a child violates family rules, he needs to be punished by the ruler. Of course, there is one way to reduce the punishment, and that is to see how long the disciples can recite the rules. Just as I was taking pictures, my youngest son began to recite "Disciples' rules, sages' instructions ……" When the ruler arrived at our house, the whole family reached an understanding of * *.

After listening to this story, let's go back to the topic and ask, why should I give Miss Zhao a ruler?

As far as my understanding of education is concerned, I think children must be disciplined by their parents, and if necessary, they need to be disciplined with sticks, so that children can embark on the right path. This is the authority and responsibility of parents. Discipline with a stick is not the same as beating or domestic violence.

In order to confirm what I know in my heart, I carefully consulted my daughter in primary school. I asked Lulu, "If you make a mistake and you know that Mom and Dad will punish you, do you want Dad to hit you with his hand or with a ruler?" "Use a ruler." "Why?" "The ruler doesn't hurt that much." "What if hitting you with your hand hurts as much as hitting you with a ruler?" "That's still a ruler." "Why?" "Because the ruler hit me, I feel less mentally injured!" God, secrets can't be revealed. The truth is in the hands of children.

? Lulu's voice represents my point of view. That's what I thought. If dad hits me with his hand, the child receives "dad hits me", while dad hits me with a ruler, and the child receives "dad hits me with a ruler". The former is that the child knows that he is wrong, but the father hits directly with his hand, and there is no buffer space in the middle. Children may think that although I am wrong, my father is also evil. He won't allow me to make mistakes. He doesn't tolerate me and doesn't give me a chance to grow up. He hurt me in turn. The latter is that the child knows that he is wrong, but the father hits him with a ruler. The child may think that it is not the father who wants to hit him, but the father who abides by the family rules and does his duty of discipline. So these two ways are likely to leave memories for children. The former is trauma, the latter is frustration, and the lesson is profound.

In fact, in real life, hitting directly by hand is more emotional and impulsive than hitting with a ruler, especially when the ruler is at home, and people don't obey the rules and meet their emotions. If parents have the bottom line that they can't hit their children with their bodies, they will tell their children to go home and wait for the ruler. When the ruler is up, they will be more rational.

I have a colleague who is very excellent. She said that she felt inferior for a long time and her father had a bad temper at home. Although she is a mother now, as long as she remembers that her father suddenly slapped her when she was watching TV as a child, she will relive the pain and inferiority at that time. But if her father tells her that she can't watch TV anymore, she will be beaten. If she doesn't stop watching TV in time, her father will hit her with tools according to the established rules. At least she will know that she was beaten by her father because she was untrustworthy.

? Therefore, as an educational means, "beating" is ultimately for the growth of children and the cultivation of children's internal strength. It is good to avoid causing trauma to children, not afraid of setbacks, but trauma is a long-term mental torture and must be avoided as much as possible. This is my initial intention of giving my husband a ruler: please strictly discipline and pass on love and strength.

? The ruler is just a tool, a small tool, which leads the child to a powerful person who is afraid of rules and explores inward. May we have a ruler in our hands and love in our hearts!