Looking for jokes and revelations

1. When I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "Sixty years of hard work. I have no food, and I never spit out my nose. "

Second, there is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich sent them away. Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

A man saw a big sale in a shop and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time and finally had to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman. "What can I do for you?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . .

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. A burst of nausea, the man spit all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I am like this ... "

1. Whenever there is a new toy, Maruko should show off to Xiao Xin. Xiao Xin had no choice but to take off his pants and say, You'll never have this. The next day, Maruko also took off his pants and said, my mother said that as long as I have this, I can have as many things as I want!

Liu Bei and Zhang Guan are trapped on a desert island. A few days later, Zhang Fei wanted to chop down his brother to satisfy his hunger. Guan Yu said: SB, knead and cut, there is more meat! At this moment, seeing Liu Bei in SY, Guan Yu asked: Brother, what are you doing? Liu Bei: Order the whole sauce!

3. A little girl went to the bakery to buy breakfast. She said to the boss: boss! Buy a chocolate doll. Boss: Do you want a boy or a girl? Girl: A boy doll, of course! Because there are a little more places to eat.

4. The professor asked: What are the similarities between rotten radish and pregnant women? A student replied: it's all caused by bugs. Only get 60 points. Another student got full marks, and the answer was: it was all because he was late.

One day, the lame and the blind went out in the same car. The blind ride a horse, and the lame watch the road. Suddenly, the lame man found a deep ditch in front of him and shouted: ditch! Ditch! Ditch! The blind man sang back: oh, oh, oh, oh! They fell into the ditch together.

6. Super interrogation

Five students are addicted to smoking. One day, they were smoking in the toilet and the dean saw them. The dean told his class teacher that the class teacher talked with five of them the next day.

Teacher: "Do you smoke?" Student A: "Suck …" Teacher: "Suck? You are glorious! Go home and call your parents! ! "I was scolded by K. When student A went back, he said to the other four," The teacher asked you not to admit smoking, but you all said you didn't smoke. I will take responsibility for myself. "

After a while. Teacher: "Do you smoke?" Student B: "No" "French fries, then." Then the teacher handed over the French fries. Student b naturally stretched out two fingers ... teacher: "don't suck?" Go home and call your parents! " Teacher: "Do you smoke?" Student C: "No" "French fries, then." Student C carefully took the French fries and secretly thanked student B (fortunately, I came prepared) ... Teacher: "Don't you touch some ketchup?" Student c accidentally dipped too much sauce and began to play in the bowl ... teacher: "don't suck?" Grey bombs are very skilled ... parents call! " ......

Teacher: "Do you smoke?" Student D: "No ..." (Student D is sweating like a pig after eating French fries) Student D: "Thank you, teacher ... I'll go back first if nothing happens." Teacher: "Don't you bring roots to your classmates?" Student D: "Thank you, teacher." Put the French fries in your ear ... Teacher: "You know what I should say, don't you call your parents?" ? ! "

Teacher: "Do you smoke?" Student E: "No" ......

(Finally, I put the French fries in my pocket ...) Student E turned to go, and the teacher suddenly shouted, "The headmaster is coming!" " I saw student E hurriedly take out French fries from his pocket and put them on the ground. ...