Who can tell jokes! It's quite boring ~

Answer: "Is my head like a cow?" B: "Yes." After the four nuns die, they have to wait for God to decide whether to go to heaven or hell. So four people lined up for God's interrogation. First, God asked the first nun if she had done anything wrong to God before she died, so the first nun said that she had seen a boy's penis. God said, "Never mind, just wash her eyes with this basin of holy water, so she went to heaven after washing." The second nun said that she touched the boy's penis, and God told her to wash her hands with this holy water, so she also went to heaven. When the third nun was about to say, the fourth nun asked God if he could interrogate her first. God asked her why she did this, and she said, "I don't want to rinse my mouth with the water she washed her ass!" " "-there are two good friends who are inseparable at ordinary times, and they should wear the same clothes and clothes to show their friendship. One day, when they came to a restaurant for dinner, the waiter brought them two plates of soup. One of them was embarrassed by a dead fly, but the other man shouted to the waiter, "why are the two plates of soup different?" "We want exactly the same thing." The law professor assigned everyone to read articles about civil rights. The next day, the professor asked Tom to say 10 civil rights. Tom didn't answer. The professor said, "OK, say five!" "Tom still didn't make any noise, so the professor had to say helplessly," All you have to do is say 1, and you will pass. " Tom replied, "I have the right to remain silent!" " One day, 0 and 8, 6 and 9 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said: Fat is fat. Why wear a belt! 6 without looking at 9, he said: Cool is cool, don't stand upside down! The husband didn't come home for another night, and the wife couldn't stand it any longer. Early in the morning, the husband pushed the door into the house, and his wife knocked him unconscious with a wooden stick that had already been prepared. When he woke up, he said apologetically, "honey, I'm sorry, I forgot you were working the night shift!" " "Why do Haier brothers only wear underpants? Because they don't have Q coins! The son asked his father, "am I a stupid child?" "Dad said," Silly boy, you are so stupid! "The customer was surprised and said," Your thumb is in my soup. " The waiter said, "Nothing, I'm used to it. Not hot. " On the 34l bus, it is very crowded. I saw a man and a woman approaching the door. The man was wearing a pair of glasses and carrying a leather bag, and he looked embarrassed. The two chatted unscrupulously: M: Is your husband not at home tonight? (It's much quieter around ...) Woman: Well, he's out of town this week. M: Then can we play tonight? (Uncle next door turns to look ..) Woman: Do you want to play? (The aunt next door also turned her head ...) Male: As usual, I opened the room (the middle school students next door also turned their heads ...) Female: Hey, I won't come if you open the room, or I'll open it (everyone is surprised ...) Male: OK, you open it, and I'll come in and kill you (everyone around me gasped ...) Female: I don't know. Don't beg for mercy if you can't stand it (BS shines in the eyes of the masses) Male: No matter how fierce I am, I can only accompany you 1 hour. I have to accompany my girlfriend at night (killing people in the carriage ...) Female: Tell her to play dizzy ... Male: She can only fight landlords, but she can't play bubble hall ... There was a traffic accident, and many people were watching it, but a reporter couldn't get in. He had a brainwave and shouted, "I am the son of the injured, please make way!" " "As expected, the onlookers cleared the way. The reporter turned it over and found that eight of the most disgusting jokes in the history of a dog were crushed to death. First, when I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "I have worked hard for 60 years, I have no food to eat, and I never throw my nose and shit." "Second, there is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The rich man sent the first few out without washing their hands. So the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why the servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..." Third, a man saw a store having a big sale and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale. "This man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this shop to buy cat food. " Give me two boxes of cat food. ""We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat. "It's the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the store with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman. " What do you want? ""Just put your hand in. The salesman put his hand in: "What is this?" Very sticky. "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. "4. A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma replied, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . . Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I was like this ... "Six, on this day, the hotel owner was patrolling the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "can the boss give me a toothpick?" "The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too? The beggar said, "someone threw up, but I came late." The first two beggars ate everything they could eat, and now there is only soup left. "Can you give me a straw? 7. The boss and the second child fly, and the second child gets airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half a bag and they all vomited." "If you see that you haven't vomited, I have to admit that you are a master, so I will do my best. One day, Big Brother and Second Brother went to the theater again, and when they saw that they were in the middle of an argument about the plot development, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there. "It's a pity that the boss lost, so the boss took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second shook his head. "I don't want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is so thick that I really can't stop biting.