A joke that has been treasured for many years

1. Once, my three-year-old daughter went to her uncle’s house to play. Her aunt was playing games online. The daughter was curious, so she came up to her and asked, “Auntie, what are you doing?”, and the aunt replied, “I She’s playing games! Can your mother play?” Daughter: “No, she can beat me”

2. The two women are showing off their family’s wealth. "The chefs in our family change very frequently. After eating the same chef's food for three days at most, the family no longer likes it." "Who says it's not the case! In order to make it easier to change chefs, we installed a kitchen door. "Revolving door."

3. One day, a barber beat up a candied haws seller. After the beaten old man called the police, the barber was taken to the police station. The police asked: Why did you beat up the candied haws seller? He replied: I was perming my hair in the house, and he was shouting "It's permed, it's permed!" outside.

4. The wife kept nagging all day long, and the husband was really annoyed, so I picked up the TV remote control and pressed it hard at my wife. My wife asked inexplicably: What are you pressing? The husband said: I am pressing the mute button.

5. The plane broke down and there was only one parachute. Lion: I will fight with whoever robs me. Chicken: I can fly a little bit anyway. Mushroom: I am also an umbrella. Clam: Fortunately there is water down there. Niu: It would be great if there was the Securities Department down there. They are all waiting to pick me up there.

6. When I was a child, I stole 100 yuan from my family and bought a bag of dry noodles for 50 cents. The remaining 99 yuan5 was secretly put back. I thought I would not be found out if I only stole 5 cents, and I thought I was so smart!

7. A 5-year-old kid came to the mobile business hall and said, "Auntie, I want to recharge the phone bill." "Hey, such a little kid still uses a mobile phone!" "Mom said I paid for the phone bill. , I want to have a sister.”

8. If you have any good food and wine, please bring it to me. Otherwise, I won’t take your life. ! "Yes, sir." "Then? Then the waiter failed~~~~ Because... he couldn't tell the difference between wine, vegetables and leeks

9. Xiao Ming has repeated grades many times and is still in the third grade of elementary school. One day The class teacher called Xiao Ming to the office. Class teacher: Xiao Ming, you are not young anymore. It is not an option to repeat the grade like this. It is time to think about it in the future! Xiao Ming: Good teacher, I will study hard and successfully advance to the fourth grade! You said that when we were in the same class.

10. There was a lazy man who wanted to cut noodles. He asked him to borrow a panel from his neighbor. Now, just cut it on my back! After his wife cut the noodles on his back, she asked him, "Does it hurt?" "It hurts," he said, "and I'm too lazy to say anything." ”

11. I went shopping on the weekend and bought a bottle of Coke. I found an old woman following me, so I turned around and asked her: What are you doing, grandma? She said: I want the empty bottle in your hand. I see, so I I gave her the empty bottle, but after walking for a while, I found that she was still following me. I asked her in confusion: Didn't I give you the bottle? Is there anything else? Who knew she said: I don't believe you won't buy another bottle in such a hot day. !

12. When a Chinese old man traveled to Seoul, South Korea, the Korean customs officer looked down upon him and said: Is this your first time in Korea? The Chinese uncle said: I didn’t know how to do it last time. Once, there was no formality. The customs officer looked surprised: How could it be possible? When did it come? Chinese uncle: In 1951, it came in a tank.

13. The Americans filmed it. Throughout the entire earth, Chinese people have been filming for five thousand years. Koreans can’t make films outside the Three Rings, and Japanese people all film at home.

14. When I was in technical school, our class was Class 8 of Electrical and Mechanical. The school organized a tug-of-war competition. Two hundred girls from our class shouted overtime: "Ji 2, come on...Ji 2, come on..." The girls in our class also imitated others and shouted: "Ji 8, come on...Ji 8, come on." Come on..." I'm so impressed!

15. In order to prove to the students the harm of smoking, the teacher specially put nicotine extracted from cigarettes on the bugs. After a while, the bugs died. The teacher then asked Everyone: “Look, what does this experiment show? "The students answered in unison: "Smoking won't cause bugs."

16. Late at night, my husband didn't come home.

The daughter anxiously called her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, so there must be another woman!" The mother comforted her softly: "Silly boy, be good, don't think of the worst, maybe he was in a car accident!"

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