Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Hello, nice to meet you

Hello, nice to meet you

Dear Mr. Bear in the Hat:

Is it magical? In this era of light-speed Internet, there is no need to play videos on the phone, but I am actually writing to you. When I wrote these words, we were already separated by more than 2,000 kilometers of mountains and water. It seems inappropriate to ask you how are you at this moment. See the words as they appear!

Counting on my fingers, it has been exactly half a month since I left. God, it's only been half a month, but I feel like I've been pacing back and forth alone in the endless wilderness of time for a long, long time. During these times without you, everything becomes sluggish, even breathing lacks the enthusiasm it used to have.

I am troubled by you and can’t sleep every day. When I woke up, everything that flashed before my eyes was you. When I finally fell asleep, it was still you in my dreams. Did you graduate from the same school as Harry Potter? You can still cast magic on me from such a distance!

I miss you so much.

As for you, you must not have missed me! I have already guessed it. If I ask you this, you will definitely say:

"Who will miss you!"

Then I will reach out and hit you, but I will keep it away. I can't hit it even from a distance. Usually you would scold me with a pretended look of disdain:

"Violent! Rude! Not a gentle girl!"

Suddenly I remembered what I said to you before leaving:

"Don't miss me too much~"

You drove intently and replied to me instantly without thinking:

"Don't worry, I won't miss you!" ”

I turned into an angry pufferfish, but I resisted from “moving” to you. Look, I’m still a lot gentler!

Many times I really have no way to deal with you, and you know that. I like to play some pranks and often succeed in playing tricks on my friends, but I have never succeeded in playing tricks on you, not even once. These little tricks of mine appear so crude as soon as they appear in front of you. If you hadn't exposed me in seconds, or if I hadn't done it myself, it would seem that I am transparent in front of you and can't hide anything from you. You know exactly what I am going to do.

But you are different. It is common for me to gnash my teeth and hate you to the bone. Look how powerful you are, come on!

Do you still remember "Three days of separation?"

Haha, it's so funny. We were chatting happily in the car that day, and you suddenly said, you were leaving. Because of your outstanding performance, your boss transferred you!

I obviously felt that the temperature inside the car had dropped sharply, and I tried my best to stay calm.

"Why? When!" I tried hard to recognize that you were joking, but I still couldn't hide my surprise in my words. .

"I will officially go to work next Monday and leave tomorrow."

"Stop being ridiculous and keep pretending. Why didn't you say before you left..."< /p>

"Really, I just informed you two days ago. I'm afraid you won't be able to bear it. I'll leave tomorrow and I'll tell you today. The work has been handed over, and the new one is a pornographic XX, a female devil. It's a bit harsh, but You’re okay!”

I was a little bit confused. Between believing it and not believing it, I was still impressed by your acting skills. I was speechless and speechless. You see, I was completely stunned. After losing his temper, he burst out laughing.

The sequel of the story is of course that you continued to play tricks on me by my side. I remember that I didn’t talk to you during the entire drive that day. I was finally amused after holding it in, and I said:

"I'll break off our relationship for three days and then contact you on Monday..."

I really looked like a childish ghost at that time. , I admire you for deliberately making up your personal name and telling it in a decent way. You said this is how you gain credibility.

Let me tell you, I recently went fishing for shrimps and used chicken offal. It looked a bit disgusting, but it was actually quite fun. I am not too immersed in this kind of entertainment, but I miss you. You should like it, after all, fishing is your passion. Fish and shrimp are both aquatic animals, and they are all hunted with a stick to try to get them to take the bait. If you think according to this logic, if you have no particular preference for fish or shrimp, then fishing or shrimp fishing can satisfy you with the fun of fishing and hunting, so you will like shrimp fishing. Is this my analysis correct?

Okay, you don’t need to answer! I know you'll laugh at me again.

In fact, I prefer to watch you fishing. Whether you are sitting and fishing leisurely or using a lure to walk and fish while turning yourself into an aquatic animal, it is more attractive. Although I have never seen you fishing for shrimps, I think it must be It's a hilarious comedy.

Of course I prefer you to sit there and fish all the time, so that we can always sit together, lean on each other, and chat.

I really enjoyed that night fishing with you. You will definitely ask with hidden joy again, which night?

That’s the day you were in such a mess! Haha, I couldn’t go fishing at the beach, and my slippers were ruined. I couldn’t drive without shoes, and my phone was almost out of battery. The sea breeze in the evening was a bit bit cold, and your wet pants made you shiver with cold.

I almost laughed when I saw the WeChat message you sent me. I wanted to deliberately not tease you back but I couldn't bear it, so I asked you if you had anything to eat?

You said, you are hungry and cold, so you want to eat the Lanzhou Ramen in the market.

After work, I went to buy you slippers and took a detour to the market to pack noodles. Apart from you taking me to Stone Beach, this was the first time I took a taxi there alone. The driver took me on a short road that was bumpy and sparsely populated. I really regret that I should have let him take the main road. If he "dealt with" me on the road, I wouldn't be able to see you. I kept holding my phone tightly on the way, and I was afraid that your phone would run out of battery and shut down. I finally breathed a sigh of relief when I walked onto the road I was familiar with. The master looked at my large and small bags and asked me why I was going to the beach so late. I said I was looking for my boyfriend. He fell into the sea while fishing, so I would give him slippers!

It was already dusk when you arrived at the beach. You hid in the car and watched TV. I handed you the fried noodles, and the look of you gobbling them down was not ordinary. I wanted to get out of the car and listen to the sound of the waves, but I decided to take a look at your ugly appearance first.

You said that your fishing gear has not been confiscated yet, so you asked an uncle next to you to help look after it. After eating the noodles, you took me to see it, but you still didn't catch a single fish. I'll sit on the stone behind and look at you, blowing the wind and listening to the sea. Sometimes you chatted with the uncle, sometimes you heard the bell ringing to see if any fish were bitten, sometimes you sat next to me, just cuddling quietly without talking, everything was very beautiful. After a while, the uncle's lover greeted him from a distance and left. He packed up his things and asked you:

"Fishing for a while longer?"

"Fishing for a while longer."

p>

"It's good to have someone with you! Fish for more!" The uncle left happily.

Do you know, Bear, I feel so happy every day I am with you. Apart from the simplest and most beautiful daily life, the sources of these happiness also include many jokes we make inadvertently or unintentionally. But aside from these, this night is really extremely happy, extremely sweet, and there is no better time than this. This kind of warmth that I can't describe may come from calmness, tranquility, you, and me.

You hold me in your arms, and I just listen to your heartbeat quietly. The hazy moonlight appears like a shadow on the sea, the waves are lapping and the sea breeze is blowing. I know that such a beautiful night that belongs to us cannot be compared with any time in the future.

Later, when I was about to go back, I wanted to go for a walk on the beach. You said I was tired and cold, so I insisted on being coquettish and you compromised. I am so happy running on the fine sand, looking back at you from time to time, and you are looking at me. Suddenly you took my hand and strode forward. Did you see the bright house in front of me? Maybe there is a small shop selling cigarettes. I remembered that I had brought everything you told me in the afternoon, except for cigarettes. It’s not that I forgot, I just wanted you to try your best to restrain yourself. You always cough, so you should smoke less. I will follow you forward. After all, you have endured it all night. But there were no cigarettes there, and it wasn't a small shop. We stepped on the sand pit and walked back. I deliberately pushed you into the sea while walking. When I squeezed you, I suddenly flew into the air. You had to hold me back. on your shoulders, to be thrown into the sea. I punched and kicked you on your shoulders, begged for mercy, and screamed loudly, while you laughed and laughed below, looking arrogant and frivolous.

Finally, with me soft and firm, you put me down, pinched my flesh and said with disgust that I was fat!

Girls can’t hear this word the most, so I chased you crazily on the beach and shouted, I must beat you until you become fat.

Look, every time I fight with you, I am always aggressive at first and show my teeth and claws, but in the end I am no match for your barbaric behavior.

During that time, I always had bruises on my body, just because I would fight intentionally or unintentionally, and my hands would turn purple when I pinched them. I would say you were trying too hard, and you said I was too thin. The skin is tender and the meat is tender. In fact, I didn’t feel how hard it was. Finally, one day you discovered the fatal point of my ticklishness. Whenever you encountered something that I didn’t want to do, you tickled me crazily. But I just didn’t want to be soft. You can take me How about it! The most irritating thing is, you know I drink a lot of water every day. As soon as I go out, I have to urinate and look for the toilet, so I try to trick me into trying to hold my pee in! You are really too bad. When you see this, are you laughing proudly at these masterpieces of yours? At first, you were just searching the Internet for pure music with flowing water, and you said that it would help relieve the urge to urinate; then you started to whistle, and I glared at you, with an evil smile on your lips; and finally, you just started pressing my belly. , I really regretted why I met you!

So I will resist when forced by bullying, and I will complain: "Is it interesting that you always bully me?"

"It's interesting, you haven't seen me bullying others. , I just like to bully you! How fun it is!"

Usually at this time you will give a sweet smile that is too sweet to kill, or you will pat your head, or you will forcefully do it. Kiss, let go and I still resist, then kiss again until I don’t resist anymore.

You are so domineering and ask me with a smile, have you seen the emoticon you sent me last night? What am I asking?

Just take the opportunity to replay the overbearing kiss just now and ask me again, do you understand? I nodded.

You said this trick is very effective, and this will be the trick from now on! I glare at you, and then I do it again.

But I still remember the first one, the sweetest kiss.

You asked me to kiss you, but I deliberately didn’t want to. Every time you bring your face closer, I bite my lips. Ha, do you think you were too shameless at that time? Later, when you were about to send me home, you poked my face with your hand and insisted on a kiss before sending me away. I looked at you, which was very funny, so I moved closer to my cheek, and when I was about to kiss you, you suddenly turned around and kissed me on my mouth. He took a sip lightly, then quickly turned his head away, pretending as if nothing happened. I watched in astonishment with uncontrollable joy on your face after you succeeded. I bit my lip gently with my teeth, and felt inexplicably excited in my heart. Facts have proved that girls like these romantic, gentle coercion and initiative. I kept looking at you, but you turned around and saw that I was still looking at you, so you hugged me in your arms. The surroundings suddenly became silent, so quiet that I could only hear your strong heartbeat, speeding up, speeding up... ...plop, plop... a gentle kiss swept over her.

That was the most unforgettable night for me. Your kiss was gentle and powerful.

Alas, am I too wordy? I've talked to you a lot, and every time you think I'm illogical, but you're always the patient listener and keep talking. But whenever something happens, the first thing I think of is you, and I want to tell you about it, but even if I tell you, it may not solve the problem.

I remember that at that time you were always on business trips, always came back late at night, and had to get up early to go to work the next day. But once I say that I have something to do with you, you will come to me as soon as you come back. How could I not know that you were so tired after running around all day, and you just wanted to take a comfortable bath and have a good sleep, but because I needed you, you didn’t complain about anything, even if you listened to what I said. No, you will also be a good listener seriously.

You would pull me to sit on the street and talk to me, or hold my hand and walk slowly, and you would say something to me. The warm wind blows by at the right time, and the purple vines sway gently. If you encounter the colorful fireworks suddenly appearing on the horizon again, you must pat me and point with your finger, "Look!"

Oh, I can't bear it I couldn't help but reminisce a lot. When we are together, we always talk endlessly, and now it is the same when writing letters. I haven’t even said much and it’s already so long. I recently started learning to draw, and you know I love it. If I come back from my studies and have the chance, I can sketch while I go fishing with you. It would be best if I could draw you silly like fishing, hahaha... I will try to draw the ugliest version of you on your next birthday to give it to you. Don’t laugh, be serious, this is my wish .

I still want to talk to you and go to many places, but I have to practice so that I can pretend to be literary and artistic when we go to Dali. You said, we want to go to Dali together! Hmm... At this time, Hao Yun's song "Going to Dali" should be playing.

I really want to see you soon, and I really look forward to your inconvenient visit.

My bear, tell me, what were you doing when you received this letter?

No matter when I see it, I am waiting for your reply!

Your strawberry yogurt

2017.12.18