British tabloids about summer vacation life

I don't know what your theme is, but there are some English jokes, fables and famous sentences. I hope I can help you! He won

Tommy: Johnny, how is your little brother? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

He won

Tom: Johnny, how is your little brother?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He's hurt.

Tom: That's too bad. What happened?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

I have his ears in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a bloody nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A child bit me," Ivan replied.

"Can you recognize him if you see him again?" His mother asked.

"I know where he is," Ivan said. "His ears are in my pocket."

His ear is in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a nosebleed. His mother asked, "What's the matter?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

A good boy.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "

"She sells sweets."

drink

One day, a father and his little son came home. At this age, boys are interested in all kinds of things and always ask questions. Now, he asked, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are two policemen standing there. If I think two policemen are four, then I am drunk. "

"But, Dad," said the boy, "there is only one policeman!"

Drunk

One day, the father came home with his youngest son. The child is at the age of being interested in everything and always has endless questions. He asked his father, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, son," the father replied, "Look, there are two policemen standing there. If I see that they are four, then I am drunk. " "But, Dad," said the child, "there is only one policeman there!"

treat cordially

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest because there was no cheese in the apple pie she served. The little boy of this family quietly left the room and went to Amo. When he came back, he took a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled, put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are definitely better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "In the rat trap, sir," the boy replied.

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to the guests because there was no cheese at home when they ate apple pie. The little boy in this family left home quietly. After a while, he returned to his room with a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled and put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are just better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "On the mousetrap, sir." The little boy said. The Wind and the Solar Wind and the Sun One day, the wind said to the sun, "Look at that man walking along the road. I can take off his cloak faster than you. " One day, the wind said to the sun, "Look at that man walking along the road. I can get him to take off his cloak faster than you. " We'll see. "Well," said the sun, "I'll let you try first. ""Let's wait and see, "said the sun." I'll let you try first. So the wind tried to get the man to take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man just pulled his cloak tighter. So the wind tried to get the man to take off his cloak. He blew hard, but the man pulled his cloak tighter. "The wind finally said that I couldn't take off his cloak. "Then Sun gave it a try. He shines as much as possible. The man soon became very hot and took off his cloak. "I give up," the wind finally said. "I can't get him to take off his cloak." Then Sun gave it a try. He basks in him as much as possible. Soon, the man took off his cloak because he was very hot. A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit.

A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit.

Distant friends bring distant land closer.

After all, the world is just a small place.

The poor craftsman complained about his tools.

The poor craftsman complained about his tools.

Actions speak louder than words.

Facts speak plainer than words.

Advice that is most needed is least valued.

Advice is hard to listen to.

Avoid a questioner, for he is also a tattler.

A person who is good at asking right and wrong is just a right and wrong person.

After a storm comes a calm.

Share joys and sorrows.

Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends.

Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends.

Look not for musk in dog's kennel.

Don't look for musk in the kennel.

Clean hands need not be washed.

Do nothing wrong, not afraid of ghosts.

A fool's bolt may sometimes hit the target. ..

A fool may give advice to a wise man.

A clear conscience is a soft pillow.

A clear conscience is a soft pillow.

The fox will get old, but it will never get better.

The fox will not get better when he is old.

Curses are like chickens, and they get what they deserve.

Harm set, harm get.

Death tells no tales.

Death does not reveal secrets.

Drumming is not the way to catch rabbits.

Empty talk won't help.

Think before you speak.

Think before you say it.

There is no point in promising too many people.

It is better to deny it immediately than to promise for a long time.

He who denies everything admits everything.

Broken glass.

A new broom sweeps clean.

A new broom sweeps clean.