Funny copywriting in real life

1. The reason why I am still single: It is difficult to start with acquaintances, and it is difficult to talk to strangers.

2. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to raise one when I grew up. After 20 years, my dream finally came true. Enough talking, it’s time to cook for my wife.

3. The New Year is coming soon, and my New Year’s wish is: to be thinner and to have a bigger wallet. God please! Don’t make any mistakes again, I will correct you in 2018.

4. Now I don’t even want to set a password for my bank card. It’s tiring to think about using six digits to protect a two-digit deposit.

5. From having nothing at the beginning of the year to being penniless at the end of the year, I am who I am. Fireworks of different colors make me angry just looking at them.

6. What to do if you don’t want to do laundry. Just take a daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes; if the daughter-in-law is strong, you will learn how to wash clothes.

7. Others rely on looks, routines, and money to fall in love. But I am much simpler, relying only on the other person's eyesight.

8. When you encounter unlucky things in life, don’t be depressed, cheer up. You have to believe that more unlucky things are yet to come.

9. After working hard outside for three years, I came home with nothing. I thought my mother would be furious. Unexpectedly, my mother did not scold me, but even comforted me: "My child, you have nothing, at least you still have the honor to come back."

10. In this ruthless age, you must never forget others. , the best way is not to pay back the money you owe.

11. Good-looking people will be inexplicably assigned many attributes, such as intelligence, kindness, cuteness... There is only one word for ugly people: down-to-earth!

12. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, another woman will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband, and beat your baby!

13. I have a strong mother. I remember when I was a child, my mother took me on a bicycle. The wheel of my bicycle got stuck. My mother felt that I couldn’t pedal, so she stood up and pedaled.

14. Every time I buy a drink, I say thank you for your patronage. One day when I was taking an exam, I suddenly couldn’t write the word “hui”, so I opened the drink next to me. At that time, I went crazy and asked for another bottle!

15. An employee bought a cup with the words "I want a salary increase" printed on it. He always pointed these words at the boss during meetings. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup with "Get Out" written on it!

16. Some girls who appear to be living a peaceful life secretly don’t even have any extra money, and even owe Ant Huabei.

17. Others don’t know whether you are doing well or not, but when you gain weight, everyone will know.

18. I bought a pot of mimosa today. I’m not shy about moving it when I go back and ask the boss. The boss said: "Maybe you bought this basin shamelessly."

19. There are three good things about winter: it’s so cold outside, clothes are so expensive, and I’m so poor.

20. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself: "If you eat too much, you will die." But it turns out that I am not afraid of death at all.

21. Everything in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business", and no one has cracked it yet. Until one day, God’s reply appeared: Your wife and I are getting along.

22. I was drinking with friends at a food stall, and suddenly I remembered that my wife was still hungry at home, so I slapped myself in the face. How can I be distracted by drinking? Come on, let’s do it!

23. I won’t dare to ride in a car with a female driver next time. This is the first time I didn’t apply the brakes when a car was about to crash, but covered my eyes.

24. When I was a child, I compared my grades, and when I grew up, I compared my salary. Now I even compare the number of steps while walking. Please let me go, I just want to be a garbage that is indifferent to the world, but when I actually became a garbage, I found out that I even have to sort the garbage!

25. Girls with fat hands, don’t worry, the gold rings your boyfriend will give you when you grow up will be bigger!

26. When you are too old to walk, I will push you to the square in a wheelchair every day and let you watch me dance with other old men.

27. How important is interest: I bought a smart washing machine for my mother and taught her how to use it N times, but she still couldn’t use it. Later, I bought her a mahjong machine, and she not only knew how to use it but also repaired it.