Rabbit joke

Complete works of the most classic jokes of the white rabbit

Giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him without expression.

"Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? "

The white rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

One day, a kangaroo was driving on a country road, and suddenly he saw a white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost on the ground, as if listening to something. ...

So .. Kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "What are you listening to, Little White Rabbit?"

"A big truck passed here half an hour ago ..."

"Wow .. so God! .. how do you know? .."

"He XX! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to fight heroin.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit hard.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy."

The first company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: I'm not busy because I can't work for the company more. What does the company want you to do?

* The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Very busy.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are disorganized, you will be busy all day. What does the company want you to do?

* The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not bad.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are irrational, there are "yes" or "no" places. What does the company want you to do?

* The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Just finished.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are so inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you?

* The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Some of them have finished the inspection, and now they are doing something else. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are not systematic, won't you do something together? What does the company want from you?

* The sixth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished all the work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't have a plan, won't you plan what to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

* The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Today's work is finished, and so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues solve problems? What does the company want from you?

* The eighth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

* The ninth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: You are very arrogant. I keep asking you questions. Why does the company want you?

* The tenth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tu Tu: I ... I ... No, I don't know ... how to answer you.

After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow.

Tutu: Why?

Boss: Because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you to do?

* Eleventh Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Fuck you, I quit ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company won't let you go!

One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."

The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asked, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion is sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal depends not on its strength, but on who is its boss behind the scenes!

One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit is gone.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss said, "I told you, no!" "

The little white rabbit is gone.

On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?"

The boss is anxious: "How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll clamp your teeth with tiger pliers

Unplug them all! "

The little white rabbit was frightened and ran away.

On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?"

The boss said, "No."

The little white rabbit asked, "Well, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit.

On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"

1

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest.

On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe Giraffe, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit and threw it behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine.

The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit and threw the cocaine behind him.

Running in the forest with rabbits and giraffes.

Later, they met a lion who was about to fight heroin.

The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit and threw the syringe behind him.

Rushed over and gave the white rabbit a good beating.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This son of a bitch pulls me every time he eats ecstasy."

Running around the forest like an idiot. "

2

The white rabbit and the blind bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar. An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes. The blind bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true. The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true. The blind bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again. The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again. The blind bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches! The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turning the bear into a homosexual.

three

Rabbits and carrots

One day, a rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No."

The rabbit heard it and ran away with a whoosh.

The next day, the rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The rabbit heard it and ran away with a whoosh.

On the third day, the rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted to the rabbit, "No! If you want carrots again, I'll pull out your teeth with pliers! "

The rabbit heard it and ran away with a whoosh.

The fourth day, the rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said, "No."

The rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

four

Police and rabbits (very funny!

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first.

Task: Find the rabbit.

In front of the first forest is the American police. They first spent a whole half-day meeting to formulate a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for a carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed! ! ! !

Then it's the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader shouted with his horn: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender …" Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed! ! ! !

Finally, there are only four policemen in China. They played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. Less than five minutes later, he heard an animal scream from the forest. The policeman in China came out laughing and talking with a cigarette in his mouth, dragging a black bear behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop playing, I'm a rabbit ..."

five

The story of rabbit and ant

Walking in the forest, the ant suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg. The rabbit was curious and asked:

What are you doing?

The ant whispered to the rabbit:

Shh ... Be quiet and watch me stumble. ......

six

The White Rabbit and the Little Rabbit

The little white rabbit ran in the big forest and got lost again. At this time, it met a little rabbit. This time, the little white rabbit learned his lesson and ran over and said, "Brother Rabbit, Brother Rabbit, you tell me how to get out of the big forest, and I will make you comfortable."

Hearing this, Little Flower Rabbit quickly threw a big mouth at Little White Rabbit and said, "Shit, are you asking for directions or looking for a job?"

seven

Wang Shuo's daughter is called Wang Bingbing.

One day, when Wang Shuo came home, Wang Bingbing ran over and said, "Dad, Dad, I'll tell you a story."

Wang Shuo said, "All right."

Wang Bingbing said:

One day, a very cute little white rabbit got lost in the big forest. At this time, he saw a little black rabbit and ran over to ask, "Brother Little Black Rabbit, Brother Little Black Rabbit, I got lost in the big forest. How can we get out of the big forest? " The little black rabbit asked, "Do you want to know?" The white rabbit said, "Yes." The little black rabbit said, "If you want to know, you must make me comfortable first." The little white rabbit had no choice but to make the little black rabbit comfortable. The little black rabbit then tells the little white rabbit how to get there. Knowing this, the little white rabbit kept skipping forward.

Running and running, the little white rabbit got lost again and met a little gray rabbit. The little white rabbit ran over and asked, "Brother Grey Rabbit, Brother Grey Rabbit, I got lost in the big forest. How can we get out of the big forest? " Little grey rabbit asked, "Do you want to know?" The white rabbit said, "Yes." Little grey rabbit said, "If you want to know, you must make me comfortable first." The little white rabbit had no choice but to make the little gray rabbit comfortable. The little grey rabbit then tells the little white rabbit how to get there. The little white rabbit knew it and kept skipping forward.

So, the white rabbit finally walked out of the big forest. At this time, the little white rabbit found herself pregnant.

At this time, Wang Bingbing asked Wang Shuo, "Dad, guess what color the rabbit was born?"

Wang Shuo said, "What color is it?"

Wang Bingbing said, "Do you want to know?"

Wang Shuo said, "Yes."

Wang Bingbing said, "If you want to know, you have to make me comfortable first."

Wang Shuo later said, "My buddy fainted when he heard this."

eight

The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit.

Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting!

The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it?

Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away. ......