The latest and more interesting humorous jokes every day.

Appreciating funny jokes can kill time, relax us and add fun to our lives. The following are the latest and more interesting jokes I arrange for you every day. I hope you will like them.

The latest and more interesting jokes every day.

1. There is a sign on the lawn of the park that says:? No trampling on the lawn, offenders will be fined one yuan. ? A frequent visitor in the park found that the fine written on the sign was less than before, so he asked the service staff in the park: Why is the fine reduced? Didn't you have to pay a fine of five yuan before? Service personnel:? Nobody stepped on five dollars. ?

2. Spending money is as simple as shit, and making money is as difficult as eating shit.

In high school, the Chinese teacher saw that the girl in front was sleepy and asked her to answer questions. After she stood up without saying a word, she stood for two minutes. The whole class was silent and the teacher said helplessly. Sit down. ? I saw this woman lying on the table immediately after she sat down. When class was over, the girl turned sleepily and said to me? I just dreamed that the teacher asked me to answer questions. ?

4. Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

5. Seeing that you are well-proportioned, handsome and charming, everyone loves you, and a hundred flowers blossom, you must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! And according to observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt, and uncle doesn't. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping.

6. A beautiful woman who loves to lie is not a woman but a semen container. Don't care too much.

7. Go shopping with her many times. She never lets you spend money for her. She also asks you from time to time if you are hungry, thirsty and tired. If you are really moved, consider marrying her.

8. First-class perverts love talented women, second-class perverts love young ladies, third-class perverts love beautiful women, and fourth-class perverts love prostitutes.

9. The highest state of metamorphosis is single, and promiscuity is the performance of rookie incompetence.

10. Don't pretend to be mature until you can't see through whether a woman is faking an orgasm.

1 1. When she asks you to invite her to dinner, you might as well stare at her for a long time. If she doesn't show intelligence and warmth, then don't spend money.

12. The best way to punish a super narcissistic woman is to point out her shortcomings directly, no matter how she growls and turns away.

13. Give her flowers in your pocket 100, and the effect is several times stronger than giving her flowers 1000.

14. A woman who is good at dealing with multiple men is not credible.

15. Don't eat her leftovers or talk about topics she hates.

16. Women's promises and sweet words are often not half as reliable as men's.

17. A pervert has no reason to get carried away, because he is a wolf. Remember that women are tigers, and tigers are more powerful than wolves.

18. For a gentle and intelligent woman, a bouquet of flowers is more convincing than a rose.

19. Love is more cruel than wasteland. The wound is as big as the happiness of love, but if you want to chase her, don't be afraid of pain, or you can masturbate.

20. There are two extreme ways for women to ask you for generosity and warmth: naive girls are hysterical.

Enjoy the latest and more interesting jokes.

1. Although the woman in act young is white, don't be the Monkey King.

Instead of waiting for her downstairs with a rose suit and tie, let her see how energetic you are on the playground and under the basketball stand.

If a woman's eyes never sparkle when she looks at you, it is definitely your failure.

4. Kissing her forehead and the back of her hand, kissing her insensitive places, can make her more comfortable than kissing her sensitive places.

Men go to bars and karaoke bars for excitement, just like dogs rummaging through garbage for food. If you want to be a real pervert, don't go to bars and karaoke.

6. Speaking of snowball fights, the snow is not thick, which makes people anxious. When they see a layer of snow on the back window of the car, they will scrape it off carefully. Then I saw a woman lying in the back seat, a man riding on it, and two people staring at me silently.

7. Nun: Monk, poor nun? Like a year? Please take care. Zen master: Haha, definitely, definitely, the name of the poor monk? Degree?

8. My cousin met a foreigner's boyfriend and took him back to his hometown in the countryside to visit relatives during the Spring Festival. When I arrived at my uncle's house, I asked him: Is this the first foreigner to come to our village? The third host thought for a moment and said, No, the Japanese have been here for a long time.

9. Be a man and compare yourself with others. While you envy others for being white, thin and beautiful, singing and drawing, aren't others surprised that you can eat so much?

10. I was writing in the coffee shop, and a man and a woman were dating next to me. After the introducer and relatives left, they complained to each other that they were forced by their families to have a blind date, which greatly knocked over the bitter water of forced marriage during the Spring Festival. The woman said to help each other, and the family in the province can arrange it. The man said yes, remember to take a photo with your mobile phone later. The more they talked, the more excited they became. What you said and I said were all about the detailed planning of how to pretend to be a couple. I thought, why don't you get married?

1 1. One day, the husband and wife were in bed and the wife didn't make a sound. The husband said loudly: can't you call the bed? The wife didn't respond. The husband asked again:? Can't you call the bed? The wife shouted? Go to sleep. Bed? After reading it, people who react enthusiastically will say loudly: Can't you call the bed? And those who don't reply to text messages will just yell: Bed? Bed?

12. I once smacked with a female ticket, probably because I was sitting in a more comfortable position. I was covering my mouth at the goods and suddenly farted. Nima, can you imagine my ass farting less than cm away from you? It stinks now.

13. My new girlfriend helped me with her hands, and I felt very cool. Q: You are so good at kung fu. She said: After years of practice, practice makes perfect. I said, Oh, you've seen countless men. She said simply, no, I used to be a man.

14. A sister in the dormitory asked us. My boyfriend and I are in trouble. Am I pushing too hard? Everyone laughed after listening to it. These idiots don't understand, so they ask curiously, What are you laughing at? Let me be clear: I think you're pushing too hard. ?

15. Menstruation has come these days, and my stomach hurts. Chatting with my boyfriend, saying that I feel pole dancing in my stomach during menstruation. Boyfriend laughs that menstruation is sexy.

16. There are two chickens in the house, laying an egg every day. During the Spring Festival, the host carefully observes every day to see which chicken doesn't lay eggs and prepares to kill the chicken that doesn't lay eggs for the New Year. One chicken said to another chicken: I really can't meet such a master B. Why don't I lay two eggs every day and give you one on average, husband?

17. One day, a fire broke out in a hotel, and a young black African who was traveling in Sichuan rushed to the open space naked as quickly as possible. At this moment, the fireman who put out the fire said in surprise? God, he's a fairy board. I have never seen him run so fast after being burned. .

18. I was told that I was going on a business trip and left for nearly a month. I came back hungry and made out with my girlfriend. Finished, my girlfriend praised me and said that you are still better. After listening, I smiled with relief. After all, my girlfriend seldom praises me.

19. The new intern boy is very painful: alas! I am old and my career has begun. Why can't I find a girlfriend? ? The sister of the royal family interrupted him: What do you like for dessert? The boy looked puzzled:? Does it matter? I don't like sweets, huh? ! ? Sister Yu:? Now at this time, a girl asks this question, but you can't think of Valentine's Day, and you don't know how to ask it back. This is why you are lonely. ?

20.lz male! Long-distance relationship with girlfriend, last night with girlfriend? At the last minute, I suddenly realized that I couldn't do it? Yes, did I wet the bed? Urine? Bed? Is it?

The latest collection of funny jokes

1. In order to cover up the weakness of motion sickness, my girlfriend cleverly chose unexpected pregnancy!

My colleague told me that his wife was pregnant, and he was disappointed. That guy found a used condom in the trash can of his roommate next door, so his wife got pregnant. I don't know if this guy should worry or save.

My daughter-in-law came to have her period, so I asked her for help. If you feel a little uncomfortable, let her be gentle. Daughter-in-law said, I am a clown and can't do your fine work! You did a good job. You did a good job. I go, can I live happily in the future!

At lunch yesterday, I called my old classmate and asked him what he was doing. Is it inconvenient to get together on weekends? He opened his mouth and gasped. Do a project of hundreds of millions! ? Hearing this, I thought he was bragging. Besides, I was out of breath when I spoke. At the moment when I made a wild guess, I understood that in broad daylight, you would not let your wife go. So I jokingly said:? Your business is growing. Give your old classmates a hand. I want to take a share in the joint venture. ?

It is very important to have a talent on holidays. For example, you are good at one or two songs, you have one or two perfect jokes, you are proficient in one or two tricks, you can play a certain instrument, and you can get ahead at the right time. Everyone is showing off at today's party. One buddy won the favor of all the girls present instead of just screaming beside him. I suddenly understood that in this era, praise is the best talent.

6. Xiao Mo: I'm unhappy! Xiaomi: Why? Xiao Mo: My girlfriend is breaking up with me! Xiaomi: If I remember correctly, you don't have a girlfriend! Xiao Mo: I mean, my right hand is infected and I have to amputate it!

7. Real brothers, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long we haven't been in touch, when we need to borrow money, I'm afraid we will always find you.

8. A female friend was lovelorn and said: Goddess doesn't cry. Line up for comments below. The goddess doesn't cry, but stands up and sighs. My cheap comment, the goddess doesn't cry, stand up and give me a sigh. The result was hacked.

9. Xiaoming went to a convenience store to buy condoms, and the boss looked at him suspiciously. Xiao Ming quickly explained:? That's a birthday present for my girlfriend! ? The boss immediately asked kindly: Should I wrap it up? Xiao Ming said:? No, that's for gift wrapping. ?

10. Most original partners think that cooking can catch their husbands; Most mistresses think they can catch a man by making love. As a result, the original partners practiced cooking and the three girls practiced bed art, and everyone worked tirelessly day and night. As a result, men always want to maintain the status quo: eat the original dishes and go to the bed where the third child sleeps!