Xuanyuanjian 3 spreads the seal of heaven (joke)

One night, Chen Jingchou, Zhang Lie, Tuo Yuwen and Shuoyang slept in the same dormitory for various reasons. Chen Jingchou, Zhang Lie and Shuo Yang didn't feel sleepy at the moment, so they simply chatted. Only Tuo Yuwen was bored and fell asleep first. During the chat, Chen Jingchou suddenly asked a question: "If you meet a beautiful girl, what will your first sentence say to her?"

Zhang Lie: "Beautiful girl, would you like to have tea with me?"

Shuo Yang: "There is a new martial arts school not far away. Let's go and have a look ... "

At this moment, Tuo Yuwen was awakened by the voices of three people. He said angrily, "What else is there to say? Let's go to bed! "

2. Chen Jingchou: "I heard that you rejected the princess's confession yesterday?"

Tuo Yuwen: "Yes."

Chen Jingchou: "Oh? Then what did she say later? "

Tuo Yuwen (very embarrassed): "Can you omit her crying?"

Chen Jingchou: "Of course."

Tuo Yuwen: So ... she didn't say anything.

3. When Tuo Yuwen was in primary school, the teacher once assigned a propositional composition "My Ideal". Tuo Yuwen wrote: "I want to protect the world when I grow up!"

A few days later, the composition book was distributed. Tuo Yuwen saw the teacher's comment: "Good ambition, great ambition. Now, please start from your side and pay attention to your deskmate Ningke. She said she would destroy the world when she grew up. "

4. After Xiaoxue defected to Tuo Yuwen, Chen Jingchou asked about her whereabouts.

"He went to Tuo Yuwen with some cultural relics." Her guess.

"What an asshole!" Chen Jingchou flew into a rage "How dare you elope with my lover!"

"Forget it." She exhorted, "let's let master Yu Wen go. Maybe I can meet a better girl in the future. "

"No, I said Xiaoxue!" Chen Jingchou replied angrily.

5, Tuo Yuwen's long hair for a long time, never willing to cut it off. On this day, he finally made up his mind to change his image and wanted to see if others could recognize him. So he pretended to find someone to come to the Taishi mansion and asked, "Is Yu Wengong there?" When the guard saw it, he ran to Dugunink and panted, "Princess, it's not good! The abbot didn't even recognize himself when he cut his hair! "

6. One day, Xiaoxue wanted a car to go home, so he called the tower and said, "Hello, I want a car ..."

The person who answered the phone asked, "Where are you?"

She said, "I'm on Fifth Avenue."

For easy identification, the person who answered the phone asked, "What pants are you wearing?"

She said, "I'm not wearing pants, I'm wearing a skirt."

The person who answered the phone asked again, "Oh, where to?"

She said, "Ankle."

7. One day, Tianzhizhen Group held a joke telling contest, stipulating that everyone should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene would laugh, otherwise it would be sold to Xianjian Group.

Yu Xiaoxue was the first to appear. As soon as she finished her joke, the audience burst into laughter. Suddenly, she heard Tuo Yuwen say, "It's so cold ~ ~", so Xiaoxue was sold to the Xianjian Group. Next, the cleverest Gu Yue saint came on stage. As soon as his joke was finished, all the members laughed. Tuo Yuwen said, "It's so cold!" !

Gu Yue Saint was also sold to Xianjian Group.

The third is master Yang Guang, who confidently finished the joke. Everyone laughed and rolled on the ground. Tuo Yuwen said, "It's so cold." Just as the master was about to sell the Xianjian Group, Tuo Yuwen stood up angrily and turned to Chen Jingchou, who was sitting behind him, and said, "I've had enough. Just laugh. Don't let the water ghost out. It is very cold. "

8. Tuo Yuwen: "My book title is invincible in the world, but why did someone change its name to rival in love after reading it?"

9. Shuo Yang: "Yu Wenda, why do I have to die in the plot?"

Tuo Yuwen: "What did you fill in the annual grass-roots opinion questionnaire of Yuwen Department' personal opinions on superiors'?"

Yang: "I filled in' Yuwen is really great, physically disabled and determined'." (Not bad ...)

Yu Wen: "OK, what's in' work advice for superiors'?"

Yang: "It's' adults always carry Xuanyuanjian, which plays a very good propaganda role and is really dedicated'." (Be creative! )

Yuwen: "If you write these again, the plot will be your next step."

Yang: "... |||"

10, Yuer: "I was bullied in the popular beauty group!"

"Do you know what Zhang Lie often says to me? -"Give me a light."

"Do you know what nickname Chen Jingchou gave me? -"Brother-in-law's lighter."

1 1, Chen Jingchou: "Zhang Lie, you have gone too far this time. You are a ridiculous old goat. "

Zhang Lie: "What happened to me?"

Chen: "Do you want to turn even such a small girl?"

Zhang: "Shut up! This is my daughter. Can't I show her around? "

Chen: (in a very low voice) Tao ... thanks to not looking like my father. "

12, the test results are announced.

Chen Jingchou: "Why did Taishi do so well in the exam?"

Xiaoxue: "Because he is an extension of China ..."