Humorous copy of teasing and spoofing

1. To sum up, my success in recent years can be divided into three categories: successful login, successful download and successful payment.

Before getting married, I am embarrassed to go out without 1000 yuan. After getting married, I feel that it is very hard to go out and install hundreds of couples!

3. The teacher asked: There is a kind of horse in the world, black and white. What kind of horse is it? Xiaoming: QR code! Teacher: Get out!

4. When I was a child, I felt that I was a person who did great things. Later, I always heard people say that big things were not good, so I gave up.

Put a photo of your wife in your wallet to remind yourself that there is no money in your wallet.

6. It doesn't matter if I'm bad-tempered, joking, good-looking and good-tempered.

As the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. To tell the truth, I have many "girlfriends" now, but none of them are pregnant!

8. I just saw a motorcycle. Plus four people riding bicycles, it is seriously overloaded. When crossing the intersection, the traffic police asked him to stop, and the motorcycle master in Ren Lei came over and said, "Stop chasing!"

9. Men choose women and aim at their faces; Women choose men and pay attention to wallets.

Tenuto used to have poor skills and was often scolded by his friends. I was so strong that I hid and practiced hard for a month. Now they can't scold me.

Xi。 I won't watch the World Cup with my wife again. I explained 10 many times in one night that the goalkeeper standing next to the ball frame is not called a doorman.

Don't panic when life is not smooth. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

Thirteen. When I was a child, my father told me that I picked it up next to the trash can. From then on, whenever I am unhappy and sad, I will sit next to the trash can because it smells like home.

I haven't lost weight for so many years, just for your "care" when we broke up.

15. Seeing a resume, a college student wrote beautifully in the column of "What Award": during his school days, he won the Master Kong "One more bottle" award many times.

16. In high school, because it was too hot in summer, I always put a book under my ass. I felt that the book under my ass was hot, so I changed it. The idiot in the back table said to me: Do you have eyes on your ass? After reading a book, change it.

17. Wife: "Honey, I just heard a report that there is a car reversing on the expressway. Be careful!" "Husband:" One? I think there are more than a hundred cars! "

Life is too hard. In order to master one more eating skill, I am practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.

19. "Who will you save first when an English teacher and a Chinese teacher fall into the river?" "Throw the math teacher down!"

20. I was going to be a lightning bolt this year and blind your eyes, but I didn't want to be a nut wall and block your sight. 2 1. Actually, I've always wanted to say three words to you, but I'm afraid I can't even do it for ordinary friends, and I still can't help it. Today, I have to say, "Give me my money back!" " "

22. When I was a child, I secretly vowed to be an extremely smart person in the future. After years of hard work, we finally achieved half of it. I am ... I am awesome now.

Twenty-three I just graduated in my twenties, and the salary gap is a little small. Calm down and get used to it when the wage gap in your thirties is getting bigger and bigger.

Twenty-four A woman has the pain of her father when she is young, her husband when she grows up, and her son when she is old. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, their wives when they grow up, and their daughters when they grow old.