Excuse me, who has the script of Cai Ming and Guo Da's sketch Romance?

The lines of the sketch "Romantic Things"

Guo Da: Husband Cai Ming: wife, mother-in-law and son.

Guo Da: Oh, oh, I'm fearless. I dare not accompany my daughter-in-law to the mall. From upstairs to downstairs, I'm so tired that I've dragged it, hehe ... Oh, if I don't come, the couple will definitely quarrel. When you get to the mall, your head is big. Male compatriots, do you feel the same way? Oh, and this daughter-in-law? this is ...

Cai Ming: Hey? Where are people?

When this man is in his forties, the relationship between husband and wife will gradually decline (word for word). It doesn't matter whether you wear makeup or not.

He doesn't care what clothes you wear. He falls asleep every day when he comes home, and he pretends to be drunk whether he drinks or not. Some people call it love fatigue. Female compatriots, am I right? Oh, you see, there is ... well, I said today is our twentieth wedding anniversary. Look at your listlessness.

Guo Da: Why am I listless? I'll go shopping with you and go home to cook something delicious at night. Isn't that over?

Cai Ming: What's over? Will we die? Don't you love me?

Guo Da: No, no, don't shout. Did you say it in the street?

Cai Ming: Don't love me before you go home.

Guo Da: (following closely) OK.

Cai Ming: Huh?

Guo Da: Oh, no, you can't talk when you get home. make it clear

Cai Ming: Now you tell me in secret.

Guo Da: Tell what?

Cai Ming: You love me.

Guo Da: Are you, are you, are you okay? You, I have never said three words. Aren't we having a good time here?

Cai Ming: You did it. You did it. This is your first love.

Guo Da: When did you first fall in love?

Cai Ming: When I first fell in love, I forgot about this person ... After graduating from college, one day you invited me to your house, and then you said you would be nice to me. Then ... (Interrupt)

Guo Da: OK, OK, let's go home, go home and find the feeling of first love.

Cai Ming: I can't go home. I can't go home. My mother and son are at home. I can't.

Guo Da: (then pulling his wife and pushing her while walking) Don't worry. Mom is watching TV in that room, and our son is doing his homework in the room. No one will interfere with us. ...

Cai Ming: Oh, I'm back. Hey, you go in first.

Guo Da: Why should I go in first?

Cai Ming: I thought we were looking for the feeling of first love. I will pretend to come to your house for the first time. Come on, come on, come on

Guo Da: (opens the door and enters the room) What's it like to find your first love at that age, psycho!

Cai Ming: Open the door.

Guo Da: (Putting things aside) Don't you have your own key?

Cai Ming: Nonsense, this is my first visit to your home. Where did I get the key?

Guo Da: Hi, I forgot about it (walks over to open the door). Hey ~ I don't think it's the first time I've opened the door for you.

Cai Ming: It was * * * that opened the door for me for the first time. As soon as I came in, I said, Aunt, you don't know me, do you? I'm Mingming. Again, again, again. ...

Guo Da: The question is what did I say later? This is (undressing and putting it on the sofa).

Cai Ming knocked at the door "dang, dang, dang".

Mother-in-law: I'm coming (opening the door). I'm back.

Cai Ming: Auntie.

Mother-in-law: (for a moment) Aunt? Mom stopped screaming and called aunt?

Cai Ming: Don't you know me?

Mother-in-law: You have been in my house for 20 years. I don't know you yet?

Cai Ming: I'm Mingming.

Mother-in-law: (touching her and her forehead doubtfully) Don't burn wow, hey ~ is she stupid or am I stupid?

Guo Da: No, Mom, you'd better go home and watch TV.

Mother-in-law: Hey, I think she is very ill.

Guo Da: I know, I know (pushing mom into the back room)

Mother-in-law: If not, go to the hospital.

Guo Da: (Interrupting) Hey, okay, okay, okay, you go back and take a walk (to your wife). Let's go back to the house. Go ahead.

Cai Ming: Go, go, go. When I first came to your house, I dragged people into the house. What a nuisance!

Guo Da: I'm not an old married couple. What are you doing? Both. No, I'm not afraid of our mother and son interfering with us here.

Cai Ming: Oh, but this can only be said in the living room. Don't miss them, miss us, miss us.

Guo Da: Don't tell me. When you first came back to our house, wow, I was really nervous.

Cai Ming: One, one, one, you were still nervous, and soon you grabbed my hand.

Guo Da: (Laughter) I don't have a fever. I am.

Cai Ming: Wow, as soon as you grab my hand, I feel like an electric shock all over.

Guo Da: When I grabbed your hand, my heart beat faster.

Cai Ming: (gives Guo Da a bad look, with a heavy tone) You haven't held my hand for many years.

Guo Da: Well, I'm, I'm not busy at work, so I can't catch up (goes to the sofa and sits down).

Cai Ming: Are you going to be all right?

Guo Da: Nothing.

Cai Ming: Holding hands (tone of command)

Guo Da: Hey, what am I doing here? I (walked up to my wife and grabbed her hand).

Cai Ming: Hold your hand.

Guo Da: I caught it.

Cai Ming: Did you catch it?

Guo Da: I found out a long time ago.

Cai Ming: Where are you grabbing (raising your hand)? You are really greedy. Why don't you feel anything?

Guo Da: I think my left hand is holding my right hand.

Cai Ming: As soon as you hold my hand, I can receive your message immediately.

Guo Da: I have been here for a long time. Did you get the message?

Cai Ming: (sighs) No.

Guo Da: Did you turn off your phone?

Cai Ming: (puzzled) Why should I turn off my cell phone? Your own battery is dead, right?

Guo Da: No, it's impossible. When I come to a critical moment, I'll tell you.

Cai Ming: When shall I give it to you? ...

Guo Da: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, look, look. I once touched my wife's hand. The point is that your hands are not what they used to be. Your hands used to feel like satin, but now they feel like sandpaper (throw away my wife's hands). Alas, your face (sitting on the sofa while talking) is like a peeled boiled egg (my wife touched her face). Now you

Cai Ming: I like this 20th anniversary, but I love it. However, it doesn't matter if you are so angry with me.

Guo Da: (interrupting, getting up from the sofa) OK, OK. ...

Cai Ming: Why should we pass it?

Guo Da: Don't ask for trouble, don't ask for trouble, let's move on.

Cai Ming: Come to think of it, how passionate you are. After holding hands with me, you hugged me (shyly)

Guo Da: Did I hug you?

Cai Ming: Yes! (fierce)

Guo Da: OK, OK, OK, OK (talking and walking away).

Cai Ming: What do you mean by a hug? Hug, hug, hug! Hug! Hug ~ ~ (my husband has no choice but to walk away)

Mother-in-law: (holding a newspaper) Here it is.

Cai Ming: (a little embarrassed) I don't want this.

Mother-in-law: This is the newspaper of the day.

Guo Da: She wants old newspapers (walks up to her mother-in-law).

Mother-in-law: Oh, all the old newspapers have been sold to rag collectors.

Cai Ming: (pulls her mother-in-law's hand forward) Mom, stay out of this. This is not. ...

Mother-in-law: What are you doing?

Guo Da: I walked up to my mother-in-law and whispered, Mom, what's it like to find our first love here?

Mother-in-law: The feeling of first love? Oh ~ ~ the feeling of finding first love, and the feeling of finding a kitchen.

Cai Ming: Hey, don't tell me. It was the same in those days. Mother asked us to sit in the living room. She went to the back room.

Guo Da: Hey ~ Mom, when she walked into the room, it was a bit like that.

Two people are sitting on the sofa.

Cai Ming: Yes, when we sat down, you said you loved me. Say again that you love me and say ... (My husband is a little helpless) I don't look at you, you say.

Guo Da scratched his head, knocked on the table and scratched his back. Cai Ming turned her head to her husband.

Cai Ming: What are you grabbing? The Year of the Monkey will soon be over.

Guo Da: (laughs) I, I, I can't talk here.

Cai Ming: Why do you open your mouth when you are in love? Come on, I'm waiting to hear from you.

Guo Da: Mingming.

Cai Ming: Oh … Hmm ~ ~

Guo Da snorted.

Cai Ming: I didn't hear you clearly.

Guo Da: I really want to eat you.

Cai Ming: I don't understand (turns to stare at him).

Guo Da: I-love-you-(absently dragging my voice)

Cai Ming: (turning his head to the audience) Why is it so disgusting?

Guo Da: Look, I said I wouldn't say it, but you insisted. When I said it, you were disgusted. Here it is (stand up and walk away, and my wife will catch up immediately).

Cai Ming: OK, OK, OK, not disgusting, not disgusting (holding his arm and sitting on the sofa) Let's keep talking, keep talking, come on, keep talking.

Guo Da: Obviously, we will be very happy together in the future.

Cai Ming: Well, I want to have a happy family.

Guo Da: Then we will have another child (happily).

Cai Ming: Damn it, what are you talking about? (She lowers her head shyly).

Guo Da: OK, OK, OK. (At this moment, my son came out with a cup in his hand. ) Stop it, stop it, we don't want children, we don't want children.

Cai Ming: Hmm!

My son stood among them behind the sofa in surprise.

Son: Mom!

The two were shocked. The wife fell to the ground and the husband helped her up.

B: I don't want children. Where did this child come from?

A: You just said it and came out (a little angry with your son)

Dad, mom, what happened to me? You don't want me.

Who said I don't want you anymore?

D: My dad said that.

A: I, I said where am I?

My son went to the sofa while drinking water.

Why didn't you say anything? I heard what you just said, and I still don't admit it (sitting on the sofa next to me).

B: Son, son, that was before your father and I were reminiscing about our marriage.

A: ah, right, right.

The son smiled.

What happened before you two got married? (Put the cup on the table) Let me help you remember.

They were surprised.

D: Before you two got married, you really didn't remember.

Hey, two people at the same time, this this this. ...

Answer: Go back, go back and do your homework (say both of them stand up).

Hey, dad, I'm still embarrassed (starting to sing nunchakus) ... jumping in front of them).

A: Hey, hey, okay, go back, go back (pushing my son back to his room)

What a handsome son! Use pairs quickly (they sing together and laugh happily) ouch.

A: Oh, you see, our son has inherited all the advantages of both of us (sitting on the sofa next to him)

B: (Laughter) Tell me that when I was in love, you were the only one in my heart, and then I added another son.

A: Well, later, I not only added a son, but also added two old people to my heart.

B: Well, you said that this kind of first love is like a brand-new car, and there is passion on it.

A: I didn't expect the load on the car to increase after the running-in period. I really need to step on the gas (clap my knee)

Yes, we were so busy driving that we forgot that the car needed maintenance.

A: I didn't expect this car to need maintenance.

The husband held out his hand to his wife, and the most romantic thing was that the music sounded, and the wife turned and took her husband's hand and sat on the sofa.

A: You see, your headlights are not very bright either (pointing at your wife's nose).

B: the horn is not too loud either.

This car gang also needs waxing.

The front of the car has been worn away by paint. Although your forehead is bald, our house is bright.

A: Although your hands are thick, our house is clean. Obviously (my wife should) I love you (they turn around and look at each other).