Scary and funny jokes

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1. The uncle is famous for his boldness in the village. He passed by the cemetery one night and saw a woman from the same village and said hello. The woman said she couldn’t walk, so the uncle was kind-hearted and carried her on his back. , but it got heavier and heavier after walking until we reached the village entrance in the middle of the night. The old man who carried the dung got up early and asked the uncle why he came back carrying the coffin so early in the morning. The uncle said that yesterday he was carrying a certain woman from the same village. The old man became pale and said, "It's impossible." , that girl has been dead for two years!

2. He went to her house as a guest, and it started raining heavily during the trip, and both of them got soaked. When he got home, he said he wanted to take a shower, but found that there was no shower gel, so he asked her for one. She handed over a bottle and said: Our whole family uses this, it’s very useful. He smiled, took the bottle, and suddenly turned pale. , because he smelled formalin.

3. There was a girl who always dreamed of a man with a mole on his chin. She always said: Come to me. Finally, they agreed to meet in a park at 12 o'clock on a certain day, and the time dropped to , the girl felt a little hot and went to buy water across the street. Suddenly she was hit by a car. Passers-by were about to carry the girl into the car that caused the accident and take her to the hospital, but they found that it was a hearse with a man with a mole on his chin lying on it. The corners of his mouth turned up.

4. The old couple sat in front of the TV blankly, staring at the screen: the news has arrived, the news is over; the advertisement has arrived, the advertisement has ended; the weather forecast has arrived, the weather forecast has ended; the advertisement has arrived, The commercial ended... until late at night, the picture turned into snowflakes, and the old couple still sat in front of the TV, staring at the screen. After a long time, the old man spoke expressionlessly: "Why didn't the news show that we were killed?"

5. On Valentine's Day, he sneaked into his girlfriend's house to surprise her. After turning off the lights, he He smeared tomato juice on his face and put a white sheet over his face, hoping to scare his girlfriend. He ran to the kitchen to see what he looked like after putting on makeup. The look of his teeth and mouth being torn apart in the kitchen mirror was so terrifying that he even scared himself. He thought his girlfriend couldn't bear it, so he quickly took off his makeup. When his girlfriend came back, he told her about it. She was horrified and said, "There is no mirror in the kitchen."

6. An avalanche hit her, and she was trapped under the snow. She called to her husband in the darkness. .The husband’s voice came from not far away: “Don’t be afraid, baby, I’m here! If you can move, dig over to me. The snow here is thin." She agreed and dug hard in the direction of the voice! Her husband's voice kept encouraging her not far away. Rescue workers 2 hours later He pulled her out of the snowdrift, but what she saw was the body of her husband who had been dead for a long time!

7. She was watching a horror movie, and suddenly there were three knocks on the wall next door, which startled her! He liked to scare her, and he once tried to pretend to be a ghost on the phone. She responded by knocking on the wall in anger, but she thought he was childish and ignored her. The next day, the police came next door. In and out, he died at the hands of the robbers who broke into the house. She finally understood the meaning of the knocking on the wall. She cried alone that night, and suddenly there were three knockings on the wall next door.

8. He was there last month. I bought a mahogany bed, and strangely, I felt someone else next to me at 12 o'clock. He bought a bag of flour and sprinkled it in the room. At 12 o'clock, he saw female footprints on the ground until they disappeared from the edge of the bed. He was so scared that he ran away! Furniture store. Peeking into the back of the store, he was making furniture. There were several new mahogany coffins with mud on them. He was so frightened that he turned around and wanted to run away, when a gloomy female voice suddenly heard in his ears: "Come back, sleep alone, it's so cold!"

9. During class, none of the rebellious students were absent from class today. It seemed that the usual scoldings were effective. Suddenly the phone rang, "Turn off your phone during class. Don't you understand this rule?" All the students looked at me blankly. I woke up and realized that it was my work cell phone and the call was actually from the principal. He answered the phone with his back turned: "Hello?" "Your class of students skipped class and chartered a car to go play, and there was a car accident, and no one survived..." He hung up the phone tremblingly, and suddenly he felt the students behind him slowly surrounding him!

10. There is a taxi driver working in a taxi company. Late one night, he was driving through a very desolate place, surrounded by darkness; suddenly he saw a building in the desolate land in front of him, with dim lights on.