Pieces and pieces suitable for girlfriends.

18. A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, "Comrade, you dropped your cigarettes!" The man was furious: "You just castrated!"

19. In an English exam, Mr. A was at a loss when he saw that Mr. B had filled it out. He threw a piece of paper for help. Soon, Mr. B threw a paper ball. Mr. a was overjoyed and opened it. I saw a piece of rubber wrapped in paper, and the letters A, B, C and D were painted on all sides. There are also a few small words on the paper: "Throw it yourself!"

20. Once upon a time, a man named A Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family shouted his name: "Shuang ... Shuang ... Shuang ..."

At this moment, a passerby saw this scene and asked, "What are you admiring?"

The cool family suddenly burst into tears: "It's so cool!"

2 1. In high school, after class was over, all the students went outside to buy lunch boxes. A girl took a shortcut before others, and the manhole cover in front of her fell off! After a while, she climbed up with the edge of the well. She was embarrassed. A group of junior high school students walked by in horror. She was in a hurry and said as she climbed, hey! It's really hard to fix. ...

22. camping in the wild, in the middle of the night, A asked B: "We can see the stars all over the sky when we open our eyes. What do you mean? " B replied, "It means tomorrow will be fine! What's wrong? " A: "Fool, our tent was stolen!" "

23. Three people go shopping. The first man said to the boss, "I want a bag of peanuts." The boss took a ladder to the second floor and a bag of peanuts, and then moved the ladder away. The second man said to the boss, "I want a bag of peanuts, too." The boss said, "I x, I stopped talking." Then he asked the third person, "Do you want a bag of peanuts, too?" "I don't want it." The third person said. The boss took a ladder to the second floor and a bag of peanuts, and then moved the ladder away. Ask the third person, "What do you want?" "I want two bags of peanuts!" The third person said. The boss fainted!

24. A man went fishing by the river. I wore a leaf first, and no fish took the bait for a long time. He changed another piece of bread, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to change earthworms, but no fish took the bait for a long time. In a rage, he took out 100 yuan and fell into the water, cursing: Shit, buy whatever you want!

25. A child always cries behind a pregnant woman. The pregnant woman finally got impatient and turned to ask, what's the matter with you, son? "Aunt," sobbed the child, "my balloon is gone. Did you hide it in your stomach?

26. Go by bus alone in the morning! But the car just left!

So I chased after it!

While chasing, he shouted, "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! Master * * * * * * "

Fortunately, the passengers stick their heads out of the window!

Shouted loudly: Wukong, stop chasing!

27. There is a child sitting at the door playing.

A middle-aged man asked him: Is your father at home?

A: At home.

The middle-aged man rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered the door.

So the man asked angrily, why don't you open the door?

The child chewed his mouth and said, I don't know, this is not my home!

28. A university forbids students to fall in love. One night, the dean visited the playground and found a couple of students kissing. The dean shouted at them, Shut up!

29. Take a taxi with friends to meet netizens.

When time is running out,

A friend pointed to an ugly girl not far away and said to the driver,

"See that woman?"

"See, stop here?" The driver replied.

The friend popped out: "No, kill her! ! ! "

30. Once a girl was ill, the boy accompanied her to the ward for intravenous drip. Ten minutes and twenty minutes passed, but nothing happened. The boy wanted to break the silence and asked, "Is it cold?" "Cold!" The girl replied, "I'll cover it for you when it's cold?" The girl blushed and whispered, "Good!" Then the boy stood up and put his hand on the drip bottle.