Primary school English jokes

1)TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

Slow".

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, there is a sign that says: "School----Slow down."

DID YOUR DAD...

2)Tom call Jim's name: "I can't bear such a foolish!"

and Jim say: "You mother could (bear)!"

Tom calls Jim He scolded: "I can't stand you as a beggar anymore!"

Jim said: "Your mother can!"

Attachment: bear has two meanings: "birth" and " The joke "bear it" is based on this.

3) Tom call Jim's name: "I can't bear such a foolish!"

and Jim say: "You mother could (bear)!"

Tom cursed at Jim: "I can't stand you ass anymore!"

Jim said: "Your mother can!"

Attachment: bear has two meanings: "to live" and "to endure". This joke is based on this.

4) A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: " God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says : "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

A man entered the church to talk to God. He asked: "Lord, how much does a million dollars mean to you?" ?" God replied: "One penny." The man asked again: "What about a million years?" God said: "One second." Finally the man asked: "God, can I get a penny?" God replied :"After one second."

5) Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him, "Did you buy a good box of matches?”

“Yes, Mum.” Tommy replied, “I have tried them all.”

A box of small matches

Mum asked Tommy Go to the shop across the road and buy a box of useful matches. When Tommy came back, his mother asked him, "Did you buy good matches?"

"Yes, Mom." Tommy replied, "I tried them all.

”

6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

Driving

Father: Oops, I made an illegal right turn just now.

Suzy: It’s okay, Dad, the policeman behind you is also.

7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor. old woman," he answered.

"You'er a good boy," said the mother proudly." Here are tow cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for her two cents

“I gave it yesterday. What did you do with your money? ”

“I gave it to a poor old woman. "He replied. "You are such a good boy," my mother said proudly. "I'll give you two more cents." But why are you so interested in that old lady? ”

“She is a candy seller. "

8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you sew him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

His ears were in my pocket

Ivan came home with a bleeding nose. His mother asked, “What happened? ”

“A boy bit me. "Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him if you see him again? " Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket. ”

9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two Birds

Teacher: There are two birds here, one is a sparrow. Can anyone point out which one is a swallow and which one is a sparrow?

Student: I can’t point out, but I know the answer. .

Teacher: Please tell me.

Student: Next to a swallow is a sparrow, and next to a sparrow is a swallow.