Two-part allegorical sayings, ancient and modern jokes and stories

Two-part allegorical sayings, ancient and modern jokes and stories

Joke story? Leigong dereliction of duty? What's going on here? Let's have a look.

misunderstand

A musician came home at night and saw a thief digging a hole in the wall on the way. In order to remind the host, the musician inserted the horn into the hole and blew it.

The people inside woke up and ran out to chase. When they met a thief, they asked, Have you seen a man who plays the trumpet?

Leigong dereliction of duty

An unfilial son contradicted his father, and Lei Gong tried to kill him. The unfilial son grabbed Lei Gong's hand and said, Wait a minute. Hit me. Let me ask you first, is it the new tripterygium wilfordii or the old tripterygium wilfordii? Lei Gong said:? Why do you ask?

The unfilial son said: if I am the new tripterygium wilfordii, I will die; If it was the original Lei Gong, what did you do when my father and my grandfather were in conflict?

put up a front/facade

An idle man saw a family funeral on the road, and there was a burnt ghost made of bamboo sticks in front of the team. Han, an idle man, thinks he is rich and respects him.

After a while, it began to rain cats and dogs, and all the beautiful paper coats pasted on the charred ghost were washed away by the rain.

Han took a leisurely look and said, Damn it! I thought it was a rich man, but it turned out to be just a piece of bamboo! ?

Be the first

A man is afraid of his wife and wants to visit people like himself and worship ten brothers. Looking around, nine people have gathered in the city, and there are still 1 people whose whereabouts are unknown. So everyone went out of town to look for it. I saw a man flushing the toilet.

Everyone said with one voice:? This man must be just like us! ? He greeted him and explained his purpose. The man shook his hand and said, why don't I be the first outside the city, but I want to be the tenth in your city?

Not worship.

There is a boy, who has little knowledge and works as a student by donating money to the academy. When I first entered Gong Xue, I visited the Confucius Temple as usual, and Confucius stepped down from his seat to pay tribute to him.

The student said:? Today is disciple's day. You should sit down and accept the gift. ?

Confucius said:? You are Kong Fangxiong's disciple, not mine, and I will never worship you! ?

have a dream

In ancient times, scholars who did not enter the palace as students were called Tong Sheng. There is a boy who wants to enter the palace. He first asked him if he could go in.

God asked him in his dream:? Have your grandfather and your father ever been scholars?

He replied:? No?

God asked again:? Is your family rich? He replied:? No?

God smiled:? In that case, what dreams do you have? ?

Only silver is not blessed.

A ghost was born and Yan sentenced him to be rich. The ghost said:? I don't want to be a rich man. I just want to have food and clothing all my life, without any disaster. I just want to burn incense, drink bitter tea and live a quiet and leisurely life. ?

The prince said:? I can give you tens of thousands more if I want money, but you are not allowed to enjoy this retirement! ?

Jinshidi

A villain ran wild in the village, and his enemy scolded him: Your brother's Jinshi has nothing to do with you, but you are so overbearing?

The villain replied:? Didn't you see the plaque? Brother Jinshi (first)? Really?

title

The wife of the county magistrate has dinner with the wife of a classmate officer and the wife of a battalion commander. During the dinner, the two chatted and asked each other what the decree was called.

The wife of the county magistrate said: Our host's name is Wen. ?

Mrs Guan Xue said: Our host's name is Xiuzhilang. ? They asked the battalion commander's wife what her name was, and the battalion commander's wife said, Our grandfather is a weasel. ?

The other two wives quickly asked: where can I have such a title?

The battalion officer's wife said:? I often see our host coming back from field trips in the countryside. He always brings back a lot of chickens. Naturally, he is a weasel.

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