Don’t be afraid of alternative jokes.

1. One day, a little devil who thought he knew a few Chinese characters felt hungry while walking on the street, so he started looking for a restaurant.

It arrived at the door of a small noodle shop and saw the big characters written on the water sign at the door: beef noodles, large steak noodles, simple rice.

It wanted to have a taste, so it walked in. The busy waiter rushed over and asked: "Sir, what kind of noodles do you want?"

"I eat..." As he said that, the little devil wanted to show off that he recognized Chinese characters, so he turned around and looked The words written vertically on the water sign read horizontally: "I will eat a bowl of 'cow' shit'..." The voice of "poo" was quite loud, word by word.

All the diners in the restaurant looked at the little devil in amazement and whispered: "This beast is so fierce!"

2. There was a teacher on a boat, and the boatman came with him. When the conversation started about Nian Geng, he asked the teacher about his zodiac sign. The teacher replied that he was a dog, and asked about the month. He said the first month. The boatman then sighed and said: "I am also a dog, but in December. The teacher has the head of a dog, so he is called ( Teach) all my life, I am a dog's tail, so I will wag it all my life."

3. Once upon a time, there was a man who went to see fortune tellers. The fortune teller touched his hands to read the fortune teller and said: "The man's hands are like cotton. If there is extra money, women's hands are like ginger, and the boxes are full of belongings."

The man was overjoyed and said, "That's great, my wife's hands are like ginger!"

< p> The fortune teller asked: "Why do you see your wife's hands look like ginger?"

The man said: "I was slapped in the mouth by her yesterday, and it's still burning!"

p>

4. A man's old mother-in-law died. He went to the village and asked his private school teacher to write a memorial for him. ?

The private school teacher found his notebook and found an article in memory of his father-in-law. He copied it word for word and gave it to the man. ?

The man took it away for a long time and came back, saying that he had asked others to read it and that the memorial text was wrong. When the private school teacher heard this, he was very angry and said: "Who said I made a mistake? Take this notebook of mine and ask him to look at it. I didn't copy even a word wrong. Otherwise, your family made a mistake." Man! ”

5. On Qingming Festival, a man picked up a thick wallet on the road.

I was so happy when I opened it and saw that it was all paper money!

He looked up to the sky and said: "How can I find such good luck in life!"

Then he grabbed his wallet and ran to death on the roadside!

6. My dear, the clothes you gave me are too small. I hate them. Every time the clothes you give me are too small, can’t you switch to a better paper-tying shop?

7. Friendship lovers: I live downstairs, come and chat when you have time. Don’t worry, I won’t move this time!

8. A woman was riding a bicycle through a tunnel late at night. Her bicycle fell off the chain during the ride, so she had to wave for help on the side of the road. All the cars in the slow lane saw her. They all quickly moved to the fast lane.

Just when I was frustrated, a car passed by my eyes and then reversed back. There was a burst of joy in my heart, and I wanted to move forward. But I saw the rear window of the car rolled down, and a stack of paper money was thrown out...

9. The face complained to the King of Hell: "The head is the leader of the human body, and the face is the appearance of the head, but the people in the world Everyone’s body and limbs are covered with colorful clothes, but I am the only one who is not. May I ask why?”

The King of Hell was also puzzled, so he asked the judge: “Is there any legal provision for this?” "?

The judge reported: "There are no rules for this. It is just because when it was reborn in the world, it stole a thick skin and covered it with skin, so it no longer needs to wear clothes over time. People in the world have gradually forgotten to use things to cover up their shame."

10. A couple always quarreled, and one time they quarreled again. The husband killed his wife in anger, and then put her to death. His body was buried in the back yard.?

After a few days, the man felt very strange, why the child had not seen his mother in the past few days but did not ask himself at all?

So one day he asked the child, "Haha, mom is not at home these days, why are you not anxious at all?"?

The child replied: "I feel so strange, why dad?" Have you been carrying your mother on your back these days?"