Daily super funny jokes.

Watching jokes on the internet can increase the fun of life and make us more active and cheerful. The following is a selection of daily super funny jokes I compiled for you. I hope you like them.

Excerpts from daily super funny jokes.

1. The company worked overtime until midnight, and everyone was fighting with their eyelids. A girl sighed, "Do I really want to be one now? Because? Words. " When someone asked her why, the girl said, "It's just a person lying flat on the big bed." As soon as the voice fell, a male colleague next to him muttered "sleepy."

2. Several colleagues went to the United States and went to the supermarket to discuss things in Jinan dialect. An American came up and said in standard Jinan words, "Are you from Jinan? ! "Sweating violently, it turns out that this foreigner is an American descendant and stayed in China during the war. His colleague asked him, "How is your English?" The foreigner patted his thigh and said, "English is so fucking hard to learn!" " ! "Ha ha, what's so funny.

3. Once I suddenly thought of going swimming, I bought a pair of cheap swimming trunks in the supermarket, because there was no other color, only red. As a result, I didn't expect the swimming trunks to fade. When I was soaking in the pool, a ray of red came out of my lower body and rippled in the water? An uncle swam past me, looked at the red "blood" under me and looked at my naked upper body. For an instant, his expression was contradictory?

Tell me about my childhood! Everyone knows the big 28 bicycles with beams! When I was four or five years old, I used to sit directly on the beam of my father's bike and sit sideways. After a long time, my feet would be numb and uncomfortable! Last time I went to grandma's house, I suggested sitting in the back seat, because my feet wouldn't get numb! Agreed! Haha, let's go! ! As a result, something terrible happened when we arrived at our destination? Dad forgot about me, took his legs from behind and swept me?

Ge You invited a friend to dinner and went to the toilet on the way. His trousers were wet when he came back. Friend: "Why are your pants wet?" Ge You: "It's been like this since I became famous." Friend: "Often?" Ge You: "Yes! It is often the person next to you who urinates and suddenly turns around and shouts: Yo! Isn't this Ge You? ! ? "

6. A woman selling eggs was walking on the road at night when suddenly a man jumped out and tried to behave badly. The woman bravely resisted, and the man finally succeeded. As soon as it was over, the woman got up and patted the dust on her body: "What a big deal! I didn't say that before I thought I was robbing eggs! "

7. Go shopping alone and urinate in the corner. The old lady looked at it and said, "You will be fined five yuan for urinating and urinating anywhere." The man said, "Who said I peed? Can't I take it out and have a look? "

8. Just when I was screening resumes, I saw a graduate resume? Award-winning experience: I won Master Kong's "One more bottle" award many times during my school days.

9. In history class, the teacher asked Xiaoming, "Do you know how the Japanese laugh at us?" Xiao Ming: "Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe?"

10. Nietzsche went to an interview and the interviewer asked, "What's your name?" "Nietzsche." "Guess you are grandma! Next! "

1 1. I met a red light when crossing the road. My friend wants to move on. I stopped him: "Wait for the light!" My friend turned to me with disdain and said, "Only you have Intel!"

12. A brother chases his girlfriend, and every morning he has a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted. One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. His girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. " He proudly said, "Of course I can't find it. Have I finished eating? "

13. Uncle came to visit, but Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see monkeys." Mother growled at once, "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here. What zoo are you going to? "

14. When I was in college, a teacher asked me to fill out a very important form, and declared that each person had one, and I couldn't alter it without the rest. A buddy came up to fill it out, only to find that the gender column was filled with the national "Han nationality". He thought about it and added a word "Zi" after "Han".

15. Several little boys scraped together a dozen dollars to buy toys, but they didn't know what to buy. One of the suggestions: "Go and buy sanitary napkins!" People don't understand, why? The boy said, "I don't know, but it is said on TV that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball games and skate, carefree and happy."

16. I took a taxi home one night and met a very interesting driver. We chatted, and he told me that all the questions about the civil service exam were incomprehensible. One question is "How many kinds of monsters are there in Journey to the West?" . He let me guess, I don't know. The driver's master revealed the mystery: "There are three kinds, one is to eat Tang Priest; One is to marry Tang Yan; The last one is to remember Tang Yan's robe. "

17. The old man who teaches chemistry is nearsighted. After writing the blackboard in class, he suddenly turned to me and shouted, "What are you standing for?" ! ! Sit down! ! "I sat in the last seat, and my coat hung on the wall behind me?

18. Do you know that I met a mentally retarded person yesterday? I've never seen such a stupid person? As for how stupid? Let me tell you this, he may have a lower IQ than you!

19. A lady reported her husband's disappearance to the public security expert bureau. The policeman asked, "When did he disappear?" "Two weeks ago." "Then why did you report the case today?" "I just remembered today, because today is his pay day."

20. I'm a little handsome. One day, I sat in a board game bar in a daze. Suddenly three sisters invited me to play games. One of the girls is very good at blowing, saying how rich her family is and that she runs this board game, right? But how can I remember that I am the boss? When did she become me?

Appreciation of daily super funny jokes and jokes

1. After the tsunami, there was a rotting male corpse floating in the village, and only the lower body could argue! A village woman looked at it and said, "This is not my man, nor the village head, nor the accountant." The village girl looked at it and said, "This is not my brother-in-law, nor is it my brother-in-law!" At this time, a widow came over and touched it and said, "Go home, it's not from our village."

2. My wife and husband are shopping, and my wife's skirt is suddenly blown up by the strong wind! The wife pressed her skirt in panic and shouted, "Oh, my God! Spring leak! " The husband gave her a white look and said, "Please! It's really a dirty laundry! "

3. Cao Cao worships Sun Quan very much and once said, "If you have children, you should be Sun Zhongmou, just my child, bah!" So his son was named Cao Pi. Sun Quan admired Zhuge Liang, so he named his son Sun Liang. Liu Bei has been obsessed with the story of Dexin, so he named his son Liu Chan.

It's summer and the mother caterpillar is in love. She was afraid that the male caterpillar would not like her body hair, so she plucked her hair. After pulling it out, she looked very intoxicated with the smooth skin. She hurried to the tree to show off to the male caterpillar, who kicked it off the tree: "Dead earthworm, do you still want to seduce me?" ! "

5. Order at noon. Me: "Master, a tomato fried with tomato covers." The ordering chef shouted to the kitchen, "A tomato is fried and covered with water." The chef put out his head and asked, "Do you want eggs and fried tomatoes to cover the water?" Me:?

Recently, my wife tried her best to make me quit smoking. Today, I have a meeting at work. During the break, I took out my cigarettes and gave them to the big boss and the second boss. The boss held out his hand. I opened the cigarette case and sprinkled a handful of melon seeds. Me? I was stunned.

7. A friend broke up with her boyfriend and asked why. She said, "That son of a bitch thinks my breasts are too big and says I don't know how many men have touched my breasts. If he can't accept it, break up! " Well, that's the best fucking reason to break up.

8. It is said that a college girl broke up with her boyfriend and said, "I found another boyfriend in the physical education department. We have been dating for a year, and you have to give me K yuan for youth loss. " Boys are afraid of their "new boyfriend in the sports department" and want to find a way to vent their anger. On the day of payment, both the girl and her new boyfriend were present. The ex-boyfriend brought ten boys, and each boy came over and gave the girl 200 yuan. After three or four months, the girl cried and her new boyfriend broke up.

9. Bears go up the mountain to exercise every day. A turtle also wants to go up the mountain. The bear said, "well, you put your four legs in the shell, and I will catch up with you." When Xiong Gang went up the mountain, a bird saw it and laughed wildly: "You look like a bear and have a flip phone?" ! "

10. Who do you think is the most influential physicist? I wrote Newton. As a result, I was the only one in the class who failed. So everyone wrote the name of the tutor? Kao, what world is it? !

1 1. The butterfly said to the bee, "You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words, but you won't give me a word. " The bee said, "Hum! Still talking about me, you have two long antennas on your head, why don't you send me a text message? "

12. A parrot was taught to speak: "I can walk." Parrot: "I can walk." A: "I can talk." Parrot: "I can talk." A: "I can fly." Parrot: "Don't be ridiculous."

13. In the middle of the night, George W. Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was frightened and said, "How dare you break into the White House at night!" Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard, smiled darkly and said, "It's so confident to be soft!" " "

14. The parturient is about to give birth, and relatives and friends are anxiously waiting outside the delivery room. The nurse finally carried the baby out and everyone swarmed. "Is it a boy or a girl?" Fathers are most concerned about this problem. He couldn't wait to reach into his swaddling clothes and grope for it, then shouted happily, "It's a boy! It's a boy! " "What boy?" The nurse scolded angrily, "Let go of my finger!"

15. Teacher: "Xiao Xin, your problem is the improper use of words. Now I will test you and use an idiom to describe the teacher's happiness. " Xiao Xin: "Laugh at Jiuquan."

16. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and still so poor."

17. In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and there stood a farmer in Tanaka, his clothes were torn and his face was dark. With tears in his eyes, he said, "Just stole a few cabbages. Is it worth shelling?"

18. A hen laid a huge egg and a reporter came to interview. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. The cock rolled up his sleeves. I won't comment on this matter at present, until I catch the ostrich!

19. A person swallowed an artificial eye by mistake and finally got stuck in the anus and couldn't get out. He went to the hospital. The doctor saw it and fainted on the spot. After waking up, he said, I have looked at my ass all my life, but I didn't expect to be looked at by it at last.

20. Henan Wa asked Henan Ma: "How to make a sentence?" Henan mother: "A, this B child is from C family? Standing barefoot on D, EF does not wear, GG is still exposed! " Haha?

Daily highlights of super funny jokes.

1. When a person always farts in the office, his colleagues can't help but say, "Can you keep quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there rocking. Colleagues asked, "What for?" Answer: "I set it to vibrate."

2. I heard from a friend that a boy with low emotional intelligence finally met a girl he liked in college, and they just started dating. Once a girl was ill, and a boy accompanied her to the infirmary for intravenous drip. Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and nothing happened. Thinking of breaking the silence, the boy asked, "Is it cold?" "cold" and "cold, I'll cover you?" The girl blushed and whispered "OK". The boy got up? Cover the drip bottle with your hand.

When I was a child, I always bullied my sister because of my age. One night, my father came to tuck us in and suddenly found my three-year-old sister sitting in the dark watching me sleep! "Why don't you sleep?" Dad asked. My sister quickly said, "Shh! Keep your voice down and hit her when she falls asleep! "

I have a classmate who is a disciple, and I feel a little possessed. School should do morning exercises in the morning, and he thinks that teachers must also get up early to do exercises, otherwise it is unfair. So I went directly to consult with the principal. The headmaster paused and said, "Where are you from?" My classmate said affectionately, "I was sent by God to save you." Principal:?

This man is hard of hearing as he grows old. I remember when I was a child at my grandmother's house, one morning my grandfather was going fishing and met the old man next door as soon as he went out. The old man said to my grandfather, "Go fishing!" My grandfather said, "No! I'm going fishing. " Then the old man said, "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" I was stunned.

6. Take my wife for a checkup in the morning. After blood drawing: Nurse: "Come and get the checklist on the 32nd." Wife: "1 month 32 or February 30." Me (weak): "February 1st" Nurse (Khan): "Yes! Yes! Yes! "

7. I flew a few days ago and found a beautiful woman sitting next to me after boarding the plane. According to the principle of chatting up, I blurted out, "Where did you get off?"

8. I cooked porridge with a rice cooker in the dormitory last night. Suddenly my roommate rushed into the dormitory and said, "No, the hospital leader led a team to check the illegal electrical appliances in the dormitory." It's already next door. What should I do with the pot? " In desperation, I hid the pot directly under the bed. When the teacher came, he said, "Well, I can still trust Xiao Lei, so I won't look at your locker." I was secretly glad, but the teacher went on to say, "See if you use an electric blanket." As a result, I was recorded

9. The cat pounced on someone and found a new girlfriend. She wants to go to her girlfriend's house. Her girlfriend knew that she often swore, so she repeatedly warned me not to talk nonsense, and some people readily agreed. After the meeting, someone responded freely without saying anything, and his girlfriend's parents were very satisfied. After dinner, in the cold winter, my girlfriend's parents insisted on sending each other to the side of the road. Some people are very touched and their brains are hot. He blurted out, "Uncle, don't see me off. Go back quickly. Look at that!"

10. Today, my boss asked me to delete all the CS in Internet cafes. I have been busy all night. Why do you want to delete CS? Actually, the cause is this. The public security bureau made a temporary inspection today. I got wind of it before. For several days in a row, I became a street sweeper, driving all creatures under the age of 18 out of the Internet cafe. So when the police uncles came from afar, my boss and I were not nervous. However, it is a pity. When the police uncles just stepped into the door of the Internet cafe, a group of people playing CS in the Internet cafe shouted excitedly: "The police are coming! The police are coming! The police are in the dog hole! Brothers, let's go! Kill them! " Well, I admit, at that moment, not only the police uncle's face was green, but my boss and I were horribly green.

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