How to start a speech with humor

Innovative sentence: Most people feel a little nervous when they stand on the podium. I belong to a small group of people. I am very nervous.

I am not conceited myself - I simply cannot tell you how much I admire that about me.

Humorous sentence: He became very proud because he was not conceited.

Innovative sentence: I am not conceited at all, and I hope others see me that way.

I will give my speech in simple and clear English first, and I will translate it to the lawyer later.

Humorous note: Lawyers always like to use complicated language, and even simple words are incomprehensible.

Innovative sentences: There are three versions of my speech, the primary school student version, the middle school student version, and the college student version. Do you listen to the first-year primary school version or the second-year primary school version?

If You've heard this story, please don't interrupt me, I know this story.

Humorous note: Even if you know two stories, you can also say this before telling the story.

Innovative sentence: Let me tell you a joke. If you have heard it and wish to pretend you haven’t, I will take care of you in the same way.

Speech is like watering a lawn. If a quarter of the water seeps in, you will be satisfied.

Humorous note: Some people snore and some people talk, these are normal. A quarter of the audience will be fine.

We had something in common at the beginning of the speech. You had no idea what I was going to talk about—and neither did I.

Humorous sentences: starters for impromptu speeches.

Innovative sentences: I don’t know if you will like my speech, I don’t know what I want to say.

Before I begin, I want to tell you that the speech below has been edited into a TV program. I will speak 20 minutes less now, and we will be able to get home in time to watch the program on Channel 2.

Humorous note: I didn’t watch it live, but decided to go home and watch it on TV.

As some of you may know, I'm here tonight for two reasons: The first reason is that your planning committee has been trying to find a smart, funny, sophisticated speaker - and they found . The second reason was that the man was sick, so he called me.

Humorous note: At first it seemed like he was saying he was awesome, but in fact he was just a temporary replacement.

Innovative sentence: I think my speech is very funny, but why no one laughs?

Some people have stage fright, but I don’t; the stage won’t do anything to me, it’s the audience who is frightened Scares me to death!

Humorous note: stage fright, not stage fright in me.

Hope to adopt it, thank you!