A classic cross talk joke

Classic cross talk 1A: Our family is a braggart!

B: Our family is still a braggart major!

A: Our family boasts that we don't pay taxes.

B: We don't pay for bragging!

A: I didn't blow. I went to the toilet as soon as I was born.

B: Climb?

A: Who was born to crawl?

B: Then how can I get there?

A: The bed will be used as a toilet!

B: It's called bed wetting!

A: I will run in three months.

That must be a freak!

A: My mother will go to work in three months. I have to run from grandma's house to grandma's house.

B: Just run!

A: When it comes to bragging, I can't compare with anyone.

I don't believe it. Do you dare to compete here?

A: Blow it here? No problem!

B: I can eat five bowls of noodles at a meal if I have a big appetite!

I can eat eight pounds of jiaozi in one meal!

Gee, I have a fever!

Oh, I have a fever, too!

B: Sleep under the quilt at night. The next day, I saw a big hole in the quilt!

A: I sleep at night with a handful of corn in my hand, and the next day it's all popcorn!

I am taller than a tree!

A: I am taller than the building!

B: With my head in the sky and my feet on the ground, I can reach a big plane!

A: My upper lip is facing the sky and my lower lip is facing the ground!

Where's your face?

A: Bragging is shameless!

B: Hey!

Degang Guo: As soon as I arrived here, I got a good job, building a chimney more than 70 meters high!

Yu Qian: Not bad!

Degang Guo: Get up early and get the job done. People come to check and accept, but they won't give us money anyway!

Yu Qian: Is the quality not good?

Degang Guo: I started to turn the drawings upside down, and people asked me to repair the well!

Classic crosstalk. The third one-Wen Shun, what did you get?

-My mother brought eggs.

-Give it to me.

-No ... guess, guess how many.

-I guess you gave me one.

-If you can guess, I'll give you two.

-... five?

The fourth paragraph of the classic cross talk is false teeth.

-Throw it away.

-Don't throw it away. It's too bad.

-Why?

-Tie a stick to it as a tickler.

Classic cross talk segment 5 1, "The story told today is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period ... "

2.90 14 flight, Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun. The fare is 5 yuan. Please board the plane. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats. Be sure to have a big seat!

When 3.XXX was born, his father was ill. After returning to China, his mother is the hardest. Here is the husband and there are the children. We should take care of them. Feed the medicine here, feed the medicine there, feed the milk, feed the medicine. Feed medicine, breast-feed His father is too strong, and the child has taken the wrong medicine.

4, the old vines are faint crows, and the bridges are flowing. The old road is thin, the sun sets, heartbroken people ... in the hospital, ... don't go to the hospital if their intestines are broken! ..... I am the first master of tampering with Tang poetry and Song poetry.

5, law-abiding and depressed, strong beam night songs, riding a mule to harm people, still hungry. Building bridges and roads is blind, killing and setting fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said, No way!

"There is such bright light at the foot of my bed, is it already frosted? , looked up and found it was moonlight, (pa! My name is Degang Guo. There are many people here. I am very happy. Thank you for coming. Don't go after the party. Go and eat. Whoever goes will pay. Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise of sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money. "

7. "We fell in love with cross talk on TV. Why? Say it! The director arranged applause. Once on stage,' Today', wow-,'We', wow-,'For everyone', wow-,'Say a photo', wow-,'Sound', wow-,(Cheerful: a word and a drum! )' bad', wow-clap if it's bad!

8. Guo: Hey! There was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity passed and I regretted it. If God gives me another chance, I want to say to the village chief: I am willing to go. If I have to put a limit on that salary, I hope it is: 400 yuan.