Collect hilarious jokes! Don't recommend books, don't recommend websites, just leave paragraphs!

1. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun.

My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes cycling every day. As a result, the horse lost 40 pounds in a month.

4. Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.

6. Wife: "Men are timid." Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why should I marry you?"

7. Part I: Hahahahaha Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Horizontal batch: there is something wrong with the nerve.

Gangdom asks for leave!

Hello, Mr. Wang. I want to ask for leave. I didn't want to, but my father was cut off yesterday for collecting protection money. I can't find any staff today, so he asked me to make up the number.

Miss Wang, please rest assured that I won't be cut with a knife. Although I was only in Grade Two, I had a fight with Xiao Qiang in the next class last year. He was in the fifth grade at that time. Finally, I dragged him into the hospital and got eight stitches. Hospitalization 1 week. I went easy on him at that time. My father said that if you find fault with others, you must work hard, so I took Xiao Qiang to the hospital according to my father's persuasive instructions. So please rest assured that I won't let you lose face.

By the way, Mr. Wang, if someone bullies you, please tell me my name. My name is in this area. Who listened? Give me three points. If they don't give you face, you can give my dad's name and see who dares to touch you.

Miss Wang, I will come back to school as soon as I help my father. If the headmaster comes and finds me out, don't tell him. Because my dad was cut by that son of a bitch principal yesterday.

Miss Wang, please rest assured that I will remember your words. I won't go easy on you.

If I don't come back within two hours, please ask Mr. Wang to call the hospital and get some notes. Miss Wang, please believe me, I will return home in triumph.

I must help my father out of this tone. I'm sure you will also speak for my father. A family of six lives entirely on his protection money. Since someone is making trouble, I should show my face. Besides, if I don't cut that son of a bitch, the principal thinks my family is easy to bully and will cut off my family's financial resources. I went. ......