Famous humorous quotations

1. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth. How much is true?

2. The world is inherently painful, without exception.

Sweeping the floor is only my superficial work. I am really a research monk (student).

Don't confuse arrogance with your wisdom. Don't let your modesty lack wisdom.

It is not a blessing for people to be afraid of you, and it is not a shame for people to bully you.

6. In ancient times, Guan Yunchang devoted himself to playing chess to detoxify. Today, concentrate on watching porn, digging bones and taking warheads.

7. The feeling of waiting for aftershocks is like a lover like a first-love girl, who is afraid that he will not come and that he will mess around.

8. The best and worst people make history, while the mediocre people race.

9. Do you need a reason to like someone? Need it? Don't you need it? Need it?

10, play with your life: you can only play with your life. If your life is gone, what can you play?

1 1. The journey of exploration is not to discover new land, but to cultivate new perspectives.

12, people are born by his mother, and demons are born by his mother. As long as you have a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale?

13, people never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

14, fate is not to muddle along, but to leave everything to chance.

15, the hero is sad about the beauty pass, I am not a hero, the beauty let me pass.

16, teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer I am to you, the farther I am from the Buddha.

17. Being a parent is a very professional occupation, but most parents have been hired without any training.

18, the so-called obedience is the extraordinary patience shown before reaching some ulterior purpose.

19, I allow you to walk into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

20. You go first. I'll wait until my legs are less shaky and my heart is less chaotic. I'll go again.

2 1, cherish life. If God keeps you alive, he must have a plan.

22. The river can reach its destination because it knows how to avoid obstacles.

23, ok! He stuffed it in without thinking. He is really a good man. I love you!

24. If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

25. Flying is the flying of Xiao Li's flying knife, and the knife is Xiao Li's flying knife.

26. The world is always the same, but our moods and experiences are different.

27, giving birth to me is a side effect! Don't you like the manufacturing process?

28. My admiration for you is really like a raging river, and it is like a runaway Yellow River flooding.

29, love, just say it out loud, because you never know, tomorrow or accident, which comes first!

I wanted to use this 10 yuan to study and become a doctor and lawyer, but for the sake of world peace.

3 1, I am the embodiment of beauty and wisdom, hero and chivalry.

32. Good love makes you see the world through a man, while bad love makes you abandon the world for one person.

33. The world is always full of beautiful things, but few people can see these beautiful things.

34. Shit, you are a piece of shit. Life is cheaper than ants. I drive a Mercedes, you pick your nose. Eat! ? Eat shit!

Don't bring trouble to yourself because of the ignorance of all beings. Don't make yourself miserable because of the ignorance of all beings.

36. If you choose 45 to look up at others, don't blame others for looking down on you at 135.

37. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

38. The best is not necessarily the best; The most suitable is the really best.

39, elder sister, you are not afraid of others laughing at you, be careful even the dog will faint.

40. A tree doesn't know what kind of air is suitable for it until it reaches the height it wants to grow.

4 1, Wukong, you are naughty again. How can you talk to sister Guanyin like this?

Love is always more sacred than marriage, and marriage is always more affordable than love.

43. The poor monk is the abbot of Shaolin Temple, whose legal name is wet dream. Amitabha, I came and went with the wind.

44, ah! The master's thinking is really like sailing against the current, and he is worthy of being a king with thoughts.

45. Even if it is a piece of shit, you will meet dung beetles one day. So you don't have to worry too much about yourself today.

46. I feel bad today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I've had enough.

47. The most tiring thing in this world is to watch your heart break and have to glue it up by yourself.

48, ridiculous! I dare say that in front of me, no one dares to pretend, please be quiet!

49. You can never see my loneliest time, because when I can't see you, it is my loneliest time!

An animal only believes what it sees, but man can see what he believes. Both happiness and trouble come from this.

5 1, when you are happiest, someone is suffering from illness and struggling with death.

52. There is nothing wrong with you. It's your parents' problems that have made you like this.

53. no! This is not an ordinary box, it is the god in the box, referred to as the box god!

54. Marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

55. The world is so imperfect. What you want, you have to lose.

56, I left Qinglong, right white tiger, the old cow at the waist, the faucet in the chest, people stop killing, the Buddha stops killing!

Sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful thing.

58. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

59. Fate is really unfair. Why did I lose my hair when I was so handsome? You are so ugly, but don't lose your hair.

60. Even a pair of underwear and a roll of toilet paper have their uses.

Quotations of financial celebrities

1. Grasping investment opportunities is half the battle.

2. The bollinger band is shrinking. Before the big market comes, there will often be a false breakthrough market, which is the trap of the main force. We should be vigilant, which can be solved by adjusting our position.

I have been integrated with the company. It lives on me, and I live with it. I can't live without it day and night. It's my lover. I am afraid of losing it, afraid of failure and trying to avoid mistakes. This is a miserable life.

4. Experience shows that the market can speak for itself, and the market is always right. Anyone who despises market ability will eventually suffer!

He is a genius, but he can explain one thing so simply and clearly. At least at that moment, you fully understood what he said.

If this stock can't be cheaper, you must buy it.

7. We never want to predict the future trend of the stock market.

8. Modify the trading rules in a timely manner, and the trading rules should conform to your own personality.

9. Even if Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan secretly tells me his monetary policy for the next two years, I won't change any of my actions.

10, in the final analysis, I have always believed that my vision is far superior to everything.

1 1. At ordinary times, it's best to sit still, buy and sell as little as possible, and always wait patiently for investment opportunities.

12. Anyone involved in complex work needs colleagues.

13, so as to fully increase profits and minimize losses. Traders can't see every market correctly, so when they see it correctly, they should keep their positions and maximize profits. When they are wrong, they should admit their mistakes in time and stop trading with a stop loss, so that they will not be hurt and stay in the mountains, and they are not afraid of burning without firewood.

14. Economic history is a series based on falsehood and lies. The interpretation of economic history is never based on real scripts, but paves the way for accumulating huge wealth. The way is to recognize its falsehood, get involved in it, and quit the game before the falsehood is known to the public.

15, if you are a duck in a pond and the water surface rises due to heavy rain, you begin to be blessed in the water world, but at this time you think it is yourself, not the pond.

16. The advantage of individual investors is that they have no time pressure, so they can think carefully and wait for the best opportunity. If he buys and sells stocks every week or every month, he will surely go crazy.

17, it's not terrible not to know what will happen in the future. The terrible thing is that if something happens, I don't know how to deal with it.

18. Don't invest when you can't understand the financial situation of a company. The biggest loss in the stock market comes from investing in companies with poor balance sheets. Look at the balance sheet first to find out whether the company has solvency, and then invest money to take risks.

19, I don't know anything about the overall economy, and the exchange rate and interest rate are simply unpredictable. Fortunately, I don't pay attention to it when I do analysis and choose investment targets.

When people forget the basic common sense that two plus two equals four, it is time to get rid of it and leave.

2 1, the most cost-effective transactions, at the beginning, from the numerical point of view, almost all tell you not to buy.

22. Trustworthiness should not be compared with stock selection, and the success of the latter depends on the former. You may be the best financial analyst in the world, or you are good at price-earnings ratio analysis, but if you have no faith, you will believe many negative reports.

There are always bad elements in human nature who like to complicate simple things.

24. When balancing profit positions, give priority to closing loss positions. Similarly, reducing risk depends on trading that balances losses.

25. Everything in your head is called garbage before it is sorted out!

If you lose all your chips, you can't gamble any more.

27. If I choose an insurance company or a paper company, I will put myself in my imagination and imagine that I have just inherited that company, which will be the only property our family will have forever.

28. If the operation is excessive, even if the market judges correctly, it will still be defeated.

29. No one can predict the future direction of interest rate, economy or stock market. Put aside such predictions and pay attention to what is happening in the company you invest in.

30. One of the reasons why the stock market loses money is to study the economic situation from the beginning. These views directly lead investors into a dead end.

3 1. If you want to succeed, you must have enough free time.

32. Be bold enough and have many opportunities; If you are not brave enough, the policy will not be great.

33. Have your own judgment ability on the market, don't follow suit, calmly analyze the reliability of the news, and try to consider the negative judgment basis.

It is very, very important that our work is focused on what we know.

If we can't find what we need within our confidence, we won't expand our scope. We'll just wait.

36. You are dealing with many fools in the market; It's like a huge casino. Everyone is eating and drinking, except you. If you keep drinking Pepsi, you may win the lottery.

37. In the short term, the market is a voting calculator. But in the long run, it is a scale.

38. When you are embarrassed to run, it is when customers are embarrassed not to buy.

39. The habitual chain is always too light to be noticed before it breaks.

40. The system you intend to use must pass the test of time and actual combat.

4 1. I never intend to make money the day after I buy stocks. When I buy stocks, I always assume that the exchange will close tomorrow and reopen five years later.

42. For me, investment is both a sport and an entertainment.

43. If the market is always effective, I will only become a tramp with a tin can in my hand on the street.

44. Seeking contribution and performance often appears.

Admitting mistakes is something to be proud of. I can admit my mistake, and it is a shame not to change it.

46. Seize the opportunity and don't hesitate. If you are optimistic about a project, invest boldly, and don't forget the truth that cleverness is mistaken.

47. Have confidence in the computerized transaction analysis system.

48. Speculation, like the forest law of the animal world, specifically attacks the weak. This approach can often be successful.

49. The stock market is a place where experienced people get more money and rich people get more experience!

50. Beat yourself, not the market, because the market is always right.

5 1, I have never doubted myself. I have never been discouraged.

52. What investors find hard to accept is the wrong stop loss.

53. When the price runs in the middle track area, it shows that the market is currently in a state of consolidation and shock. For trend traders, this is the most likely market to lose money and should be avoided. Short positions are the best.

54. When between the middle rail and the lower rail, as long as the middle rail is not broken, it means that it is a short market, and the trading strategy is to sell on rallies, regardless of buying.

55. Let go only when the market shows a strong trend.

56. We should also accept the wrong stop loss.

57. Overconfidence is a common problem. Men are more overconfident than women, and men trade more frequently than women, which often reduces the return on investment portfolio.

I am a very realistic person, I know what I can do and I like my job. It may be great to be a star in Major League Baseball, but it's not realistic.

59. The stock market decline is as common as a snowstorm in Colorado in January. It can't hurt you if you are prepared. Falling is a good opportunity to pick up the bargains left by investors who have fled the storm in a hurry.

60. When some large enterprises have a temporary crisis or a stock market decline and have a profitable trading price, they should not hesitate to buy their stocks.

Classic quotations of celebrities

1, ancient and modern, at home and abroad, all those who have achieved their careers and made a difference to mankind are the results of down-to-earth and hard climbing. qian sanqiang

2. Reading is learning, using is learning, and more importantly, learning. Mao Zedong

3. Habit is a tenacious and huge force, which can dominate life. bacon

4. Whether every employee can be managed as an innovative SBU and continuously produce high-quality talents is the decisive factor for managers to manage themselves well. Zhang Ruimin

For innovation, method is a new world, and the most important thing is not knowledge, but thinking. Lang jiaming

6. What is a genius! I think genius is the result of hard work. Guo Moruo

7. Pride does not last long, desire is not vertical, joy is extremely high, and ambition is not full. Wei Zhi

8. In order to understand how short life is, one must go through a long road. Schopenhauer

9. First of all, I ask you to believe in science, rationality, yourself and yourself. Hegel

10, true courage includes modesty. Gilbert

1 1. Without enthusiasm, there is no intelligence, and without knowledge, there is no enthusiasm. Without diligence, there is no combination of enthusiasm and talent. Joseph

12, ah! Praise, from your own mouth, how boring! Montesquieu

13, there are two tragedies in life: despair and complacency. Shavian

14, the chain of habit is weak, so it is often not felt, but once it is felt, it is indestructible. Samuel Johnson

15, geniuses are the best. They work 18 hours a day without stopping. Renan

16, time is constant, but it is also variable. There are endless industrious people and endless lazy people. Strict words

17, generosity, especially modesty, will win people's favor. Goethe

18, I always feel that life itself should be meaningful, and we didn't come for nothing. Xi Murong

19. Of all the criticisms, the greatest, most correct and most talented is time. Belinsky

20. We don't put our eyes on our heads, so that we use our own feet to break what we want from the sky. Xuefeng Feng

2 1. If learning is only for imitation, then we won't have science and technology. The original name of NIZHNI NOVGOROD in Gorky City

Friends are the road, enemies are the walls. Common saying

23. You can't judge a person by his initial impression. Virtue is often covered by modesty, and shortcomings are often covered by hypocrisy. Jean de Labruyere

24. The three conditions of learning are: observing more, suffering more and learning more. Galffy Lao

We learn much more from failure than from success. smiling expression

26. If you love the times, you should love the present; Yesterday can't be recalled, and tomorrow is still unreal; You can only be sure of today and now. Emerson

27. Habit is nature, and you are a magician. It is cruel to beautiful things and kind to ugly things. Veda

28. Habit is like a cable. We wrap a new rope around it every day, and it won't be long before it becomes unbreakable. primary

29. Live to learn, not to live. bacon

Fantasy adds extraordinary color to life, which is necessary for every young and kind person. Bao Si tovsky

3 1, people's life is to try, and the more they try, the better their life will be. Emerson

3236000 days, every night is a candle. How short the day is, it takes a hundred years to change. Lipper

33. Based on mental experiment and observation, imagination becomes the designer of natural science theory. John Tindal.

34. If you give up today, there will be no tomorrow. Yesterday, I just went to the water. John Locke

35. An ounce of habit is worth a pound of wisdom when dealing with daily affairs. Tobrid

It's really terrible to brag before things are finished. Krylov's fable

37. A full life is a long life. We should measure life by behavior rather than time. Little seneca.

38. I only regret one thing. The days are too short and pass too fast. A man can never see what he has accomplished, only what he should do. Madame Curie

39. Interest in what you have learned may become the motivation for learning. Zankov

40. The history of science and technology has proved that too much knowledge and information sometimes hinder and limit innovation. Langamin

4 1, life is short, and only virtue can spread to distant descendants. Shakespeare

42. Being able to ask questions correctly is the first step of innovation. Li zongdao

43. Humility can make a soldier more beautiful. Ostrovsky

44. Deep-rooted bad habits can never be formed overnight. You Vaina

45. The shortening of life span is directly proportional to the waste of ideas. Darwin

46, the ruler is short; Every inch has its advantages. Insufficient things; I can't think clearly. Qu Yuan

Most of our pride is based on our ignorance. Lessing

Happiness really does not depend on nature, but on people's habits. Epictetus

49. Don't despise dusk. Dusk, like the morning, is the time to achieve your career. Tianxiong

50. If you have talent, diligence can play a role; If your intelligence is average, diligence can make up for it. Joe Reynolds

5 1, victory often comes from sticking to the last five minutes. newton

52. Many creative people did not think of this and were led astray by habitual thinking. keats

53. No one lives in the past and no one lives in the future. Now is the only form that life really occupies. Schopenhauer

54. Correctly treat predecessors' theories, learn from others and innovate independently. the Chen Dynasty

55. Young people only know how to study for profit, which is the darkest moment in life. Greer

56. People who refuse to delve into understanding will not ask questions; People who lack breakthroughs in their careers will not innovate. anonymous

57. Diligence should be the decisive factor in the formation of genius, and hard study is directly proportional to hard practice. Guo Moruo

58. It's a long way to go, and I will go up and down. Qu Yuan

59. The meaning of life lies in living fully, not in living long. Martin Luther

60. Habits will soon become a necessity in your life if they are not restrained. Augustine friar

Quotations of film and television celebrities

1, everyone has been dark for a long time and naturally became true love. Mini Yang

I only made one play this year and put a lot of feelings into it. Jerry Lee

3, the entertainment circle is too tired and too tired to teach. Zhang Guoli

4. Be a real person wherever you are. Zhang Ziyi

5. It is widely rumored in the Jianghu that I am a wonderful flower, but it is said that I can't drip oil. Jolin Tsai

No one can control me except my daughter. Daniel Wu

7. It seems that many men will be very strong when facing their feelings. It seems that breaking up is as simple as waving your hand. Later, I learned that the moment I waved, it consumed all my strength and broke my heart for a long time. Jeff Chang Shin-Che

8. There are too many people chasing her, all of whom are richer than me. Baoqiang Wang

9. Never run the public image and hope to retire at the peak. Zhou Libo

10, in business, I am luckier than my father and have never lost money. Jaycee

Guo Zirui, can you grow up! Tao Guo

12, claiming that grassroots is self-deprecating; It is inferiority to call yourself diaosi. A foreigner who spoke Chinese later asked me: What is diaosi? I replied: it's JB Mao, which is a derogatory term for people in an unbearable situation. Xiaogang Feng

13, no confidence in feelings. I'm not the kind of person who is so sure of my feelings as everyone thinks. I would rather be myself, but I'm not. It's good to talk about career, friendship and music. The word I have the least confidence in is emotion, because I think it is beyond my control and I know it best. Feelings, I will never learn in my life. Nicholas Tse

14, I think love is like water. If it is too hot, it will evaporate; if it is too cold, it will freeze. Only when the temperature is just right can we get along naturally and comfortably. Being lovelorn is like falling into an ice cave. Csillam; Chilam; Julian Cheung

15, she (Mabel Yuan) persisted, that is, Fan Bingbing in those days. If she can stand these rumors, she can go far. Masayoshi

16, my poetry is shameful, but my enthusiasm for poetry is not shameful. Zhao Zhongxiang

17, failed, I have to get up to catch tomorrow. Pan Yueming

18, hot mom is not a parenting drama, and I am very calm about the current ratings. Sun Li; Sun Li; Betty Sun

19, life is like an airplane, no matter how high it rises, it will land beautifully. Jacky Wu

20, love is fried chicken legs, very beautiful, just like the feeling when talking about feelings, and the feeling of lovelorn is like eating fried chicken legs, leaving only a bone, and good things are absorbed by you and thrown away. Peter Ho

2 1. Music without personal style is rubbish. Wang Feng

22. I am a competitive actor, and this industry is not as clean as before. Sun honglei

23. Expect love to be like the little dragon girl in Yang Guo. Carman Lee

24. I am super insecure and talented, so I work harder than others. Rene Liu

25, sometimes very helpless, it is not appropriate to reason with China people, reasoning is a fish. Sometimes it's no use talking for a long time. You give a mouth, but he covers it with a red scarf. Degang Guo

26, others broke up for half a year, and I passed in an afternoon. Aaron Kwok

27. I am an old face. I will be happy last Spring Festival Gala. bi fujian

28. I am not a musical genius, I am a crazy rock singer. Sitar tan

29. I want to be a kind father Tian Liang.

30. Never mind whether I am tired or not. What matters is whether I dare or not. Cui Jian

3 1, the success of Deyun Society does not mean the success of cross talk. Yu Qian

32. I don't want to lie to everyone, I just want to change myself. Zheng Shuang

I am an administrative cadre, not an artist. Xu jinglei

34. Actually, I am a creator, whether a director or an actor. Stephen Chow

I spent a lot of time when you filmed me. Don't you want me to kick you? Fan Bingbing

36. Chen Sicheng can read my mind, and we talk constantly every day. Tong Liya; Lilia

Disciples know very well that without them, I would have no food. Zhao Benshan

38. Youth is for nostalgia, so is everyone. Zhao Wei; Vicki Zhao; zhao Wei

39. Take Golden Horse as the winner and let me unload my idol. Aaron Kwok

40. Nothing can change as long as you don't screw up your life. Small s

4 1, I really want to see tsunami or earthquake disasters in some countries. Jackie Chan

42. Yao Ming, Li Na, Liu Xiang, Zhang Yimou and Chen Kaige. Those elites, including those in other fields, I think they should be allowed to have more children. Of course, the national constitution does not allow the law to be equal. I didn't mean what I said. I felt from the bottom of my heart that elites from all walks of life should have one or two more children, which will improve the quality of our Chinese nation. We are too short of talents now. Liu Peiqi

43. You don't know what kind of boyfriend you want until your feelings are rough. beautiful

44. In this life, both husband and wife ended here. I'm fine. You also take care. Faye Wong

I admit what I said, but I won't admit what I didn't say. Xiaogang Feng.

I don't even have time to watch the World Cup now. Without China, it doesn't matter to me who wins or loses. I don't even know who's fighting who. Jackie Chan

47. Being lovelorn means solving a difficult problem wrong. I was glad to finally get rid of the clouds and see the sunrise, but I found that the answer was completely wrong and I was depressed. Jimmy Lin

48. I am fierce and domineering on the surface, but extremely fragile inside. Hong Han

49. I am an ordinary person. What if I'm not beautiful or fat? Sammi Cheng; The third note of the major scale.

50. The feeling of being lovelorn is like a homeless stray dog, always feeling that he has hit a wall everywhere; There may be good people who are willing to take in, but it is inevitable that they will be difficult to adapt and willing to continue wandering. Jordan chan

I broke up with him three times in the past two years. Every time after breaking off diplomatic relations, he will have a little kindness. Clockwork wechat, swimming? I said, no, he sent another letter the next day. Do you want to go swimming today? Meme Tian

52. The state takes care of my son, which helps to get rid of bad habits. Jackie Chan

53. Accept everything life has given me. The past is beautiful and irreplaceable. Yao Chen

54. China movies should unite with the enemy. Andy Lau

55. I feel that my beauty is packaged. Lin Chi-ling

No matter how hard I try, I will stick to it. It's not easy to like my people. MoMo Wu

57. If I am so optimistic and suffer from depression, the world will be destroyed! Ruby Lin

58. You see, I am now the spokesperson of China Terrapin. Huang Xiaoming

59. It's hard to forgive Ling Xiao Su, but I'm glad I still have the ability to love. Yao Chen

60. I accept people saying that I am naive, because I am really naive. Gillian (Juliana's variant) (F.)