After checking the mobile phone, I found that my husband was cheating, and the three things that women are most likely to do wrong.

One day, Chen Jie brushed a small video, the content was probably "What should I pay attention to when checking my husband's mobile phone". After watching the video, Chen Jie was shocked. She used to check her husband's mobile phone in vain, so she had a whim and took action immediately that night.

As the saying goes, no woman can come out of her husband's mobile phone with a smile. Sister Chen is no exception.

She found her husband's trumpet, the contents were unsightly, the gift her husband sent to San Xiao, the takeaway she ordered and the hotel she stayed in.

At this moment, it is no exaggeration to describe it as the sky were to fall.

Previously, Chen Jie always felt very happy. She was glad that she married a simple and honest husband, and didn't wander in the marriage like a woman of the same age. Unexpectedly, she trusted the most staunch pillow person, but it hurt her the most.

Sister Chen's eyes were red with anger. After her husband confessed the affair, she went crazy, crying and cursing, scratching and scratching until she was exhausted.

At the beginning, her husband would patiently coax her, sincerely apologize and say that he would never contact San Xiao again, and he was trying to make up for it, please her carefully, return to his family and accompany his children.

However, Chen Jie's mood is moody. If you spend less than 10 minutes with your husband, you will definitely get involved in an affair, and then you will cry and scold endlessly, and so on.

No matter how her husband promised and swore, Sister Chen Can never trusted her husband again.

After a long time, her husband not only stopped coaxing her, but also came home late and spent less time at home on weekends. The two men are either caught in a day-to-day war of abuse or directly engaged in a cold war.

For more than three months, when Chen Jie asked about the details of her husband's affair, the husband who had been forbearing suddenly broke out and said that he had had enough of such days. Although he doesn't want a divorce, he doesn't want to stay in such a home for a moment. He also said that he could leave the clean house and asked Chen Jie to get a divorce as soon as possible.

Sister Chen was dumbfounded. This is obviously her husband's fault. Why can he justly file for divorce? Although she divorced at first, it was just angry words. She is a woman who is nearly 40 years old. I have been accompanying her to read two children a few years ago. How should she live after divorce?

But my husband's divorce is not angry words, he is serious.

Because my husband refused to communicate, he never went home again. As soon as Sister Chen looked for him, he said divorce. Don't look for him except divorce.

Seeing that her husband can't do it here, Chen Jie went to mistress.

But San Xiao is not a fuel-efficient lamp. Not only did she admit nothing, but she also mocked Sister Chen like an aunt. She looks down on her husband and complains. If she and her husband harass again, call the police.

I couldn't find a good job in San Xiao, so Sister Chen changed her strategy.

She told her relatives and friends about her husband's infidelity and divorce, and asked them to be lobbyists to persuade her husband, hoping that he would change his mind.

At the beginning, relatives and friends will advise. Everyone thinks that a couple of 10 years, two children will not leave. Everyone is still optimistic.

But gradually, relatives and friends also lost patience. Because Chen Jie always takes pains to criticize her husband everywhere, telling how she was hurt, how shameless men are, and how innocent she is. ...

The more Sister Chen resembles Sister Xianglin, the more determined her husband is to get a divorce. Relatives and friends gradually understood her husband's determination to divorce, because no one could stand her temper.

Yes, the people who helped her convince her husband changed sides.

Even her own mother said to her: it's time for you to change your temper. You are so aggressive and noisy every day. Don't get divorced.

After reading Chen Jie's experience, I can only sigh that there must be something hateful about the poor. In the process of saving her marriage after her husband cheated, Sister Chen almost stepped on all the pits that could be stepped on and did everything that would push her husband away.

The marriage that could have been saved, however, because of its willfulness and recklessness, changed from rationality to irrationality, from victim to perpetrator, and finally ended in a tragic ending of betrayal.

Let's take a look at the things that women are most likely to do wrong after their husbands cheat.

Knowing that her husband is cheating is normal, happiness will be shattered by a blow, including shock, anger, unwillingness, injustice, sadness, confusion, hatred ... a series of emotional outbursts and even overreaction.

But indulging in negative emotions does not solve the problem.

We can't let instinct vent all these emotions at once. Because people's rationality and IQ are influenced by emotions, the decisions they make are often wrong and stupid.

It's like someone stabbed you. Instead of going to the doctor for active treatment, you stood there in resentment and kept asking each other: Why did you stab me? What makes you? It is an extravagant hope to help you heal by accusing and questioning those who hurt you.

Of course, the final result will be very disappointing, and the other party will stab you again to shut you up. Just like Sister Chen, she tried to blame her husband and asked him to listen to her. Her husband finally broke out and decided to divorce.

Many people have lost to emotion on the way to saving their marriage. This is not an alarmist.

Stay calm and rational. When you face your husband, you find that your emotions are coming and about to explode. Stop immediately or leave the scene, out of sight, out of sight.

Don't face him until you calm down.

If you want to save your marriage and he intends to return, you can ask him to accompany you through this critical period, ask him to do something for you, communicate in time and tell the other party what you need him to do.

Even if you want to divorce, you should manage your emotions well and not be too hard on your husband. Because divorce is not a day or two, you involve children, property and other complicated situations.

Divorce is because he cheated, which is his fault. Ask for more money while he still feels guilty. Then there is no matter how sorry he is to you. He is also the father of the child. The divorce is too rigid and it is not good for the growth of the child.

Many women swear to divorce after learning that their husbands are cheating. But in fact, they simply have no ability to leave.

Some are reluctant to give up their children, some are not financially independent, some are still deeply in love with their husbands, some are afraid of divorce, and some make irresponsible remarks. ...

Since we can't divorce, we should recognize the reality and accept it. Even if you really want a divorce, you can't afford it, and you can't talk about it easily.

When you talk about divorce, you must keep your promise. Let the other party know that you are serious, and the other party knows that you will keep your word and seriously reflect and examine the consequences.

However, many women always regard divorce as angry words and malicious words, just talking, without practical action. As long as the other party mainly apologizes, cajoles and cheats, and writes a letter of guarantee, you will be soft-hearted and change your mind.

What consequences will this bring? More often, he will understand your virtue:

Oh, so you just said divorce, and you dare not divorce at all! You can't leave me, so what can I do? There's nothing you can do with me. There's nothing you can do with me.

Then the next time you make trouble, he not only hates you, but also dares to cheat again and again. It's not really a divorce anyway. If you make trouble, he will coax you into deciding whether to cheat or not. If not, he filed for divorce.

When we find that we can't get it back, it is an instinctive reaction to ask friends and relatives for help.

However, as long as you want to save your marriage, don't make a big deal.

Needless to say, others may see jokes. Those relatives and friends who really think about you are not professionals and can't give you good advice. When they persuade, they may not hesitate, or they may touch the man's lamella and do bad things with good intentions.

When you make things known to everyone, your husband will hate you, because it is not a glorious thing, and everyone will persuade him that he will have rebellious and evasive psychology. The more people persuade him, the more difficult it may be to recover.

Of course, some people are forced to return to their families, but what's the point of this kind of "heart in Han" person, who has come back but has not? He really doesn't want to be with you, he just wants to wait for a better time to leave.

If he is dissatisfied with you for a long time, hates you, and meets "true love", you let outsiders persuade him, but it becomes an excuse for him to arrange you, and you become the reason for him to cheat.

The above three situations are the most instinctive reactions of many women when they are betrayed.

Because it is instinct, it lacks rationality.

Most of the original partners, after being betrayed, will step on all the pits they shouldn't step on, just like Sister Chen, and finally find that things are completely out of their control, and the situation is irreparable. I write down these misunderstandings in the hope that you will take fewer detours on the road to saving your marriage.