How did I step into the scam of transnational online dating?

Last July, I experienced an unforgettable online love that lasted for two and a half months.

The reason why this love is unforgettable is that it satisfies all the fantasies of an older young woman in literature and art. The other person is independent, talkative, humorous, gentle and considerate, loves sports, fitness, food, travel and small animals, and has clear plans for her work, life and future development ... All kinds of things have made me, an independent woman who has always been cautious and self-proclaimed, unconsciously fall into it step by step.

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The story also starts with a chat software.

Tandem is a software that can chat with foreigners directly. There are two kinds of members: free and paid, and members are all over the world. Like most chat software in China, you can see their gender, age and origin on the home page, as well as their life photos and simple personal introduction. The difference is that this software will also see the languages they know, their proficiency and the languages they want to learn. It is a good choice for people who want to improve their foreign language level by chatting with foreigners and making friends. It was on this podium that I met Wang. His Chinese name is Li.

Judging from Li's head, his facial features are more like Southeast Asians. The two photos in his life are hip-hop dresses, wearing sunglasses and earrings, which look very fashionable. He is 35 years old and works in England. He knows English and wants to learn Mandarin and Cantonese.

At first, Li didn't attract my attention. When I first registered, I just chose online people from several English-speaking countries to say hello, and several of them replied to simple conversations. At that time, I chatted with Li and felt that he was very polite and casual, but Li disappeared for a few days and suddenly returned my message one day, apologizing to me for being a little busy recently and asking if I could add WeChat. There are a large number of groups using WeChat all over the world. I'm not surprised at all. I left my micro signal to him.

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Two days later, at noon on a Saturday, I received a request from angel lee to make friends. Different from other foreigners, Li will tell me something about his current situation, such as what he is doing now, what he plans to do in the future, and ask me what to do next. We will talk about life as friends at will, and he will correct some grammatical mistakes in my English and encourage me to use Chinese when I have difficulty in expressing myself in English, which makes people feel quite intimate and warm.

During the chat, Li introduced some basic information about him. Li was born in Beijing, and his parents are from China. After his father died at the age of six, he went to England with his mother. Now I live in Leicester, England-more than 2 hours' drive from London (my own Baidu). So he can read and write Chinese, but he can't speak it well. He is a contractor of building materials and will undertake some government outsourcing projects, sometimes abroad, such as India and Turkey. He loves fitness and goes to the gym for three hours every weekend. He has a little black dog named Coca. There is a big yard in his house, which is full of all kinds of flowers, which was raised by her mother before her death. His mother has been dead for six years.

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Later, looking through the chat records with him, I found that my online love with him can be divided into several stages, which made me fall into his scam a little defenseless.

I. Friendship period, time 1 week.

Talking about their life, work and hobbies has gradually formed a tacit understanding of chatting in the morning, afternoon and evening. There is a 7-hour time difference between Shanghai and England. Basically, I go to work at eight o'clock in the morning, which is late at night at his place, 2-3 pm at his place, and morning at his place. When I rest at home at night, he is working and will take time to chat with me. We talk every day about what we ate today, what the weather was like, what troubles we had at work and so on. Talking with him has gradually become a habit. Like a good friend, he cares about my life and appreciates all aspects of me on the other end of the phone.

Second, the initial period of boyfriend and girlfriend is 2 weeks.

After forming a tacit understanding of chatting, Li began to ask me what kind of boys I like and the requirements for the height of boys. Asked me some emotional questions before, and he said he wanted to know more about me. Of course, he also encouraged me to ask him questions. He hopes to chat comfortably, talk about everything, fully express himself and not hide anything. I didn't think much about it during the period, but I just felt that everyone chatted in English every day, and they were all light topics, which played a great role in English written expression.

Li asked me about my emotional experience, and I asked him first. I learned that his ex-girlfriend came from China, and she was his translator and guide when he was working on a project in Beijing. After a period of getting along, he has feelings. Finally, when he was leaving Beijing, he discussed two plans with his girlfriend. One is that his girlfriend wants to stay in Beijing, and Li is menstruating in Hong Kong. He will go to Hong Kong once every three months to see him and his period, and then he will come to Beijing to meet his girlfriend. On the other hand, when his girlfriend goes back to England with him, he will try to support his girlfriend's idea of opening his own restaurant. After a week's consideration, his girlfriend chose the latter. Li said that they have been together for three years and they are very happy. Their girlfriend's restaurant business is also very good. They are already saving money to buy a big house. As a result, when Li came back from a business trip in Turkey and bought a diamond ring of 20,000 pounds to propose to his girlfriend, he found his girlfriend and his best friend sleeping in his house and caught him red-handed. Li said that he wanted to kill the man at that time, but he thought he would go to jail and then gave up. Li said that he was deeply injured. In order to heal the wound, he moved to Leicester from his original place to avoid seeing his ex-girlfriend again. When Li said this, a picture like a movie plot appeared in my mind. Thinking of him is really sad and affectionate.

Li said that he wanted to find a girlfriend from China, and he liked people from China. Li asked me if I would like to be his girlfriend, even though we are so far apart. I said some reserved and shy words from China people at that time, but I finally agreed. Actually, I didn't really accept him in my heart. I just think it would be more interesting to have an online relationship with a foreigner.

Third, the mid-term of online dating-falling into a period of three weeks.

Li changed my name to dear and reported his itinerary and work progress to me every day. Li said he wanted to share everything with his lover. Also ask more about my daily life, family, colleagues, friends and so on. Li's seriousness gradually touched me and made me feel that I was really with him. Maybe this is my destiny? A Chinese-American boyfriend, a handsome guy who knows life and has his own small career, a dedicated man who greets me first every morning, says good night to me and writes me English love poems. Although it is far from Wan Li, he has always accommodated my time. Maybe I can go to live in England in the future ... under his gentle and bloodless knife, my heart gradually fell, and I really began to look forward to opening a picture of a better life with Li at the other end of the network.

Fourth, the love period-time 2 weeks

Li slowly brought me into his life, although only in words, but with the help of pictures, small videos and voice calls, I have no doubt. Li said that he was talking about two projects, one in India and the other in Zznja, and asked me to help him choose. In the meantime, Li Hui and I reported every progress of the project, from bidding, to the government interviewing all the responsible persons who won the bid, and then to the final project determination. Li shared every little detail with me and asked for my advice. Li said that I am his family now, and he wants me to participate in every decision he makes, because it is related to our future life. I am always moved by him. Finally, I helped him choose Zznja. Li said he needed to stay there for two weeks, and then he would visit me and my family in Shanghai after the project. All this is like a dream. I feel like the luckiest person in the world.

V. Dream period-1 week

Li Shunli went to Zznja, Nepal. Before going, he sent me his ticket information and took photos of him on the plane. A few days before arriving in Zznja, Nepal, Li also told me about the local situation, weather, food, project progress and how much he missed me. We have voice chat almost every night. Li said that he hoped that I could accompany his voice before going to bed, so that he could easily dream about him in his sleep. It was also a Saturday before I came to China to make all kinds of preparations for Li's upcoming project. I went shopping with my friends in the afternoon. Li said he was a little busy, but told me to take pictures of the clothes I bought. He wanted to see me at my best, as usual, but that was the last message I received from him. From that day on, he disappeared without a photo.

I'm worried and depressed. The message sent to him was not answered. Thinking that something must have happened to him, we haven't contacted for more than two months, never. I also tried to contact him by voice phone, but I still tried not to respond. I spent that weekend in fear, but he still didn't hear from me when I went to work on Monday. My whole person is not well, and I began to think that something must have happened to him, such as the theft of his mobile phone and the chaos in Africa. This is very possible. But if you steal it, you can buy it again. Besides, he has my email address. He can send me an email at the Internet cafe to tell me the situation, or borrow someone else's mobile phone. Or did someone have an accident? Injury at the scene? Or a traffic accident? I have thought of ten thousand possibilities, but every time I think of a possible solution, no matter which possibility, he will try to let me know the situation at the first time, unless he dies.

Vi. Epiphany period-1 day

The more I think about it, the more worried I am. I think this possibility should be extremely low. When all kinds of possibilities came to mind, suddenly an idea came to mind: he won't be a liar, will he?

I've heard from my friends before that there are many online dating scammers who will always maintain a good relationship, but they will suddenly disappear, making you anxious and nervous, and there will be money demands later, but that's in China, and he is a foreigner? I strongly deny this idea, but my fear is getting stronger and stronger. I am afraid that he is a liar, that everything with him will go up in smoke, and that a relationship I finally started will eventually become a scam and a joke?

I began to ask Du Niang for help. It doesn't matter if you don't check. You scared me to death. There are many examples of China women being cheated on the Post Bar, some even business owners, and the highest one has been cheated by millions. The routine is similar. Through dating websites or English chat software, you will become online lovers in the pursuit of each other's ultimate "truth" and "concentration". Generally, it takes 2-3 months for you to enjoy a beautiful love experience, and then suddenly disappear. The disappearance period is usually about 3 days, and then it will become a reasonable reason for the disappearance of the project because of financial problems, debt collection, car accidents and other reasons. Then the amount of money you need comes out, and you need the support of the woman, and sometimes you don't even say it. A smart working woman, carried away by the sweetness of love, will give all her support to help him out of the predicament at the first time, because she has regarded him as "family". But after getting the money, this "home" disappeared. Even if she called the police, because of foreign countries and various inconvenient factors, the money could not be recovered, and finally people became rich.

I spent a night trying to digest the fact that on the one hand, I was extremely lost and humiliated, and I finally became a member of such transnational online dating; On the other hand, there are also negative voices. Maybe he's not. He is so real and considerate. He also tried his best to plan our future. He even put on beautiful lipstick for me, fearing that other male colleagues would like me. He also used my photo as his mobile phone screensaver and added a red heart and a diamond ring to the name of the note. Just last week, he asked me the size of my finger. ...

Seven. Adjustment period-1 day

Although I didn't want to believe that I was cheated, I remembered some details and realized that I met an expert. The other party is probably a recidivist. The IQ of a woman affected by love is really easy to be 0.

1、? The other person grew up in England, but his spoken English has neither a British accent nor an American accent, but a little African accent. The post also said that it is likely that you will chat with Niznia, a black man with white teeth.

2、? From beginning to end, I have never seen him in person, nor have I seen any videos, but I have only received a short video recorded by him. The other party asked for a video with me, but when I was nervously preparing for face-to-face communication with the lover in the video, the other party missed it for reasonable reasons. However, this initiative to request videos will dispel most of the concerns arising from online dating, which is very clever.

3、? The screenshot of the ticket to Zznja, Nigeria, which he gave is only the booking page, not the information of his successful booking. He asked me to remind him to get up in the morning so as not to delay the plane, and attached a handsome selfie after boarding, which successfully covered up the loopholes that were not the ticket information itself.

4、? The story of his overseas Chinese ex-girlfriend breaking up is more like a wonderful script of a movie.

5、? There is a big difference in hair style before and after the photos he sent. I asked him at that time, and he either replied that it was a new hairstyle or an old photo.

After thinking about it, there are still many doubts, but at that time, surrounded by love, everything was so natural and impeccable.

Eight, easy waiting period-1 day

As a mature woman, after several days of thinking and psychological construction, I realized that I had at least not lost money. I am also relaxed and happy in the process of being cheated. I have nothing to lose from now to the past, except that my ideal partner no longer exists and my beautiful life in the future no longer exists. My written English and spoken English have obviously improved by more than one level. In more than two months, I was happy. I began to work and rest regularly, exercise hard, make myself more and more beautiful, meet Li who is about to meet, and spend my life together. Li's affirmation, encouragement and support in the process of communicating with me also gave me more confidence, and my whole state was excellent. The next step depends on how Li acts.

Nine. Termination period-1 day

On the fourth day after Li disappeared, he appeared. He expressed all kinds of apologies to me. Li said that he had a car accident, which was very serious. If his right leg is not cured, he will be amputated. His credit card can't be used locally, and the project company he works with locally is not willing to pay him first. He is in urgent need of money for treatment. He sent me a picture of his right leg wrapped in gauze lying in a hospital bed, but he didn't get a face. Li said that his mobile phone was broken, so he couldn't return my messages. I asked Li to take a full-body photo or video with me. I'm worried that he wants to see him now. Li repeatedly refused to borrow someone else's mobile phone on the grounds of inconvenience. During this period, while enduring the pain, Li told me that he missed me and hoped to visit me in Shanghai as soon as possible. If Li's sudden disappearance didn't make me suspicious, and if the online evidence was not too similar, I think I would fly directly to Zznja to see him and accompany him. Of course, I think even if I ask Li for his address, he has 10 thousand reasons to refuse. Because he is a liar, for him, these two months of chatting are nothing more than trying to get financial benefits from me. Later, Li did say the amount, which was the money he needed for surgery, not dollars, and it happened to be the amount I disclosed to him before, but he converted it into dollars. At this moment, I remembered why Li asked me about my monthly salary and how much money I had saved. I was supposed to collect information for the final amount.

I wanted to stay with Li Duozhou for a few days to see how badly he sold, and how to try to use his feelings and their future as bait to extort money from me. However, once I see his face clearly and see the nature of his liar, even watching him act will lose fun. I left a message to Li, probably to thank him for his company during this time, but I know he is a liar, and he is not the man in the photo. If this scam is not good, I will resolutely hack his WeChat, because I don't want to watch him make a final struggle, and after the struggle, he may reveal lost face because he has nothing. It would be ugly and disgusting to me.

After Wechat blacked out, Li sent me two emails, meaning that he was innocent and didn't know what happened. He still loves me, and my actions and words have caused him great harm. I didn't reply to him, my life is very calm, and I don't want a liar to affect my life again.

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Postscript: After such a scam, I understand that there will be no pie in the sky, and I must have a minimum judgment ability for the yearning for beautiful love. I can't lose my original IQ and reason surrounded by gentle countryside. This kind of transnational online dating is the same, and so are the feelings around us. As a woman, you should know how to protect yourself at any time.