Help find the script

Niu: Hmm.

Song: I'm at home, my daughter-in-law, and the whole family tastes terrible. My family is here. Let's drink here later.

Bull: Oh, dear, aunt, please. (Install the machine)

Song: (touching the machine) I miss this thing so much. Tell me. Oh, where are you going to play after you finish?

Niu: At all local stations.

Song Dandan: The local channel is good. Don't put it on trav's radio. Not reliable (laughs). Last year, he put a column back, and the guy recited it all the way without paying (laughs). Come on, let's record.

Niu: Hey, Auntie, aren't you going to ask your uncle out?

Song Dandan: I don't need to do it myself.

Niu: No, no, no, the old couple are together, so. . . . . . Is it?

Song Dandan: Really? Otherwise people will think that we are divorced. Very comprehensive consideration.

Song Dandan: Lao Hei, wife, come out quickly (Zhao Benshan comes out from the right side of the stage with warm applause).

I found another big job, and my family had to change their luck. Please cooperate, ah.

Zhao: OK, OK.

Song: Let me introduce this black uncle to you. This is a cow plan.

Niu: Hello, uncle, I have seen it on TV. (shaking hands)

Song: Come on, take off your apron.

Niu: Auntie, let's start now.

Song: Let's go. Well, don't talk (to Zhao)

Cattle: (clearing his throat) As the saying goes, the world is big and there are no wonders. Behind me are two well-known celebrities: black soil and white clouds (Song suspected that the cow blocked the camera and pushed him with his hand). Just at the home of uncle and aunt Baiyun in black soil, a big anecdote happened not long ago. Their rooster really laid eggs.

(Zhao Benshan runs, Song Dandan follows)

Song: Why did you go? Why are you going? Why are you leaving?

Zhao Benshan: You sound like a cotton trousers waist!

Song Dandan: What's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: Why is it so loose?

Song: Oh, what's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: Did you say our the rooster lay eggs?

Song: What decision?

Zhao: Is it just the two of us, and our son and daughter-in-law don't know? How did you come here to talk about it?

Song: What are you afraid of?

Zhao: What are you afraid of? Our the rooster lay eggs. Doesn't that mean I'm pregnant

I'm not playing with you.

Song Dandan: I counted one, two. ...

Zhao Benshan: Third, how about it? You've been scaring me with these three numbers all your life.

Song Dandan: Come back. I'm bored to death. You mean you.

Zhao: Comrade Niu, I am not afraid to make you laugh. Your aunt, we have been tossing my life at home. After becoming famous, we published two books, and now we owe the publishing house 20 thousand yuan.

Song: How did you tell people about this? Is it related to them?

Zhao: The summons was delivered this morning. It doesn't matter. . .

Niu: Uncle, here is 20,000 yuan. I'll take this one.

Zhao: No. . . . It's open. . . . . . It ... . . . . This is a sentence. . . . . . What does this mean?

Niu: Uncle, am I not going to train this rooster who lays eggs? This is an advance payment of 20 thousand yuan

Zhao: For us.

Bull: Ah,no.. . It doesn't belong to a 2-year-old yet. You should cooperate when I ask questions in the future. If you cooperate well, I may add more money

Zhao: Cooperate. You can cooperate with anything you want. (Take money) Where should I put this first?

Bull: Put it here first, here.

Song: Is it reliable?

Zhao: Reliable.

Song: Pull over and cooperate well.

Bull: Can we get started?

Song: Here we go.

Niu: OK, ah, uncle and aunt, our the rooster lay eggs has arrived. When did it start?

Song Dandan: I don't know the exact time. You can log on to my blog, Sanw blog, Baiyun Piaodao com.

Niuqun: Auntie has her own blog.

Zhao: Yes, celebrities are cheap.

Niu: Uncle, please recall carefully. What were the signs of this the rooster lay eggs before?

Zhao: No, there is no sign (Song takes money). . . That was impossible at that time. . . This chicken-it is particularly contradictory, well, it is particularly depressed. Think about it, think about it. The cock wants to lay eggs, not its job. Is it shameful to lose it? Do you want to lose this chicken? What will colleagues think? What does the chicken think of it? What does the duck think of it? What does the goose think of it? How to mix in the literary and art circles in the future?

Song: Chicken World

Zhao: The chicken industry is not in the chicken industry. How can the chicken industry mix? Is it? Are those little hens who used to be with him sad? Moreover, when it was a rooster, the chicks hatched from eggs grew up. What do you call it? Call dad, no, call mom, no, call aunt. However, if you have an egg, you can't stop it. If you don't stop it, you will panic, so ...

Song Dandan: As a result, it strengthened its faith and laid its own eggs. Let others talk about it.

Zhao: I analyzed it, but I just couldn't hold it back. Besides, you can't help it.

Niu: Uncle, where did it lay its eggs?

Zhao: Where did it go?

Song Dandan: Where? . . Let me ask you, where have you been?

Zhao Benshan: Ah, it. . . Where did it go? . . . At that time, it thought, where to get off. . . . He just strolled, and he just strolled and thought. I didn't feel embarrassed before I came to the henhouse. It wandered again. Where did it go and came to the duck rack? It didn't bother to come down. Where can I go? I can't live without it. I can't hold it any longer. If I fall, everything will be leaked. Where can I go? . . . . . Finally, where did you say it went? Guess.

Song: Dog kennel. (high-five)

Zhao: Oh, my God, I'm out of the kennel.

Niu: Who found it?

Zhao: Son of a bitch.

Song Dandan: As soon as the paparazzi found out. Second, all chickens, ducks, geese, dogs and cats in tianquan county know. Our chicken became a famous chicken overnight. That guy, in our chicken aisle before, stood tall and cracked; Since the male egg laid the egg, the walkway has changed and become like this (starting to imitate the rooster walkway). Oh, I see what this paw is pulling on the ground. I understand carefully and practice signing.

Bull: That's good. That would be great. Uncle, where are the eggs laid by the cock now?

Zhao Benshan: Yes.

Niu: Yes, who ate it?

Zhao Benshan: I did, but she didn't dare.

Niu: What's your reaction after eating it?

Zhao: Nothing happened, just like an ordinary egg.

Niu: Uncle, you don't cooperate. How can you say that? Can't be the same as eating ordinary eggs. It can't cure all diseases with ice packs. At the very least, it must have a certain curative effect. Aunt, I put these two 10 thousand dollars here. . .

Song Dandan: Yes, yes, it does cure diseases. Open it. Many elderly people are troubled by the sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage. My wife had a cerebral hemorrhage last year. Before eating male eggs, he walked like this (pulling Zhao Benshan to perform, "You should learn from Wu Laoer and learn from cerebral hemorrhage." Zhao Zhi paused), after eating the male egg, everyone saw (Zhao Benshan fell to the ground) get up.

Zhao: Did you cheat?

Song: That's a lie. It's not that fake drugs are harmless to people. You said your calf played backwards. You always fall down before eating eggs, and you can walk after eating them. Pour the wine, and I'll go down and look at the food.

Bull: Very good. It's well documented.

Zhao: Come on, have some wine. I said Niu Cefan.

Cattle: not cephalosporin, but planning.

Zhao: No matter what the strategy is, as far as our family is concerned, this one has lived since your aunt became famous and saw money for the first time. What are you going to do next?

Bull: I'm just speculating. Buy this chicken.

Zhao: If you want to hype, you should find more people to be on CCTV in the future, such as celebrities like Bai and Cui Yongyuan, or you will blow it for nothing.

(They clink glasses and drink)

Cow: Uncle, please take out that chicken.

Song Dandan: You hold the chicken.

Zhao: I'm telling you, that chicken looks old. . . View from a height or a distance

Cow: Auntie, let's sign the contract quickly. I will use this 20 thousand yuan to buy your chicken.

Song: Yes.

Cattle: Sign here. This is this. Please have a look. If you breach the contract, you must double the compensation. You have to give me 40 thousand yuan, aunt.

Song Dandan: Don't double it, ten times it. I'll give you 200 thousand. Can I not let you take it?

Niu: It's fun to cooperate with Auntie.

Niu: By the way, Aunt, there is another one. Please also make an image endorsement for the lying chicken.

Song Dandan (glancing at it carefully): Advertising, right?

Niu: There is an advertisement.

Song: Record it quickly. Write down the money. Open it.

Niu: Then let's get started.

Song: Good word, very concise and reliable. The rooster that lays eggs, the fighter in the rooster! Oh.-Yeah.

Another configuration file, you go back to edit and use it. The rooster that lays eggs, the fighter in the rooster! Oh.-Yeah.

There is also a rooster that lays eggs on its back. . . . . (Zhao came to power in a flurry. ) What are you doing? We record advertisements here. You should give someone a hug quickly. I have signed the contract. Pay 40 thousand.

Zhao Benshan: You come out.

Song: Why, why do you think you are such a chicken grinder?

Zhao: Have you signed the contract?

Song: Yes.

Zhao: Why are you in such a hurry?

Song: Why?

Zhao: It's over. The chicken is gone.

Song: Where did it go?

Zhao: Pointing to the dish basin on the table, the daughter-in-law stewed it and ate it (Song froze first, then cried).

Zhao: My wife, my wife, my wife, Baiyun, Baiyun and Xiaoyun, look at me.

Song: The famine turned to 40,000! (crying)

Zhao: Don't worry, don't be angry. The old man is here. You can watch me blink later and try to make up for it.

Song: How to make it up? (crying)

Zhao: Don't cry, look at me, old man. Hey, hey, here comes the baby.

Song: Cry

Zhao: What are you doing? Look at that old man. Hey, hey, baby.

Niu: My aunt was fine just now. What happened?

Zhao: It's over. I'm sorry to hear that the rooster took it away. (to Song): Why are you crying? Sit here.

Niu: Nothing. I have feelings for chickens. (Say "cooperation" to Song),

Zhao: Oh, you can keep this money first.

Niu: Uncle, don't be ridiculous. If you break the contract, you have to refund your money. If you double it to 40,000, it will not be 20,000, right?

(Zhao is silly, Song Dandan continues to cry)

Zhao: Why is it still crowing?

Niu: Uncle, why didn't the chicken come?

Zhao: Drinking. . . . .

Song: I can't hold back.

Niu: Why?

Zhao: What about spitting in the afternoon?

Cow: penis?

Zhao: This chicken is tired even when it lays eggs and crows. Come and have a drink. (Two people drinking) Do you think this chicken can be that valuable? Don't pay

Niu: Uncle, I'll tell you the truth. This chicken will be put in your second hand. It's worthless. It's worthless I'll give it to you. Let me guess. After it's blown up, it'll be valuable.

Zhao: How about stew?

Bull: That's valuable, too.

Zhao: This chicken is a famous chicken. No matter from birth to death, even if it is stewed with meat, it is still valuable!

Niu: That's right.

Song: You are so talented.

Zhao: Then, for example, how much does it cost for that chicken to eat this piece?

Niu: Just this one. If you don't give 2000 yuan, you have no right to eat.

Zhao: What about the chicken heart?

Bull: Four thousand.

Zhao: What about chicken liver?

Niu: Six thousand.

Zhao: What about chicken kidney?

Niu: Eight thousand.

Zhao said to Song: That's enough.

Song: That's brilliant.

Zhao: Come on, eat. Give the cow a piece of meat. )

Niu: Uncle and aunt, you should not only eat me, but also eat me.

Zhao: I can't afford it here.

Niu: Uncle, I can't drink any more. Anyway, let me take the chicken away later

Zhao Benshan: I can't hug you. You can take it away.

Bull: To go?

Zhao: To tell you the truth, the chicken you want is stewed by your daughter-in-law. Just eat, but according to your requirements, the method is different. You said fried, but we are stewing me. You set the price, and that's the case. If you want to keep 20 thousand yuan, you can keep it or take it away. If you want to eat 20 thousand's big meal, you can take it away. I didn't touch any of it. what do you think?

Song: You are so talented! (Give Zhao a kiss)

Niu: Uncle and aunt, please don't move and cooperate. I can't throw this chicken into my hand. "When people are angry, it is easy to become simple-minded. I used to lack it. Ever since I ate the meat of this rooster that laid eggs, hey, I've become smart. Eating a piece of meat is only 20 thousand yuan, worth it!

Zhao and Song: You are so talented!